So my fience want to raise are son right- nothing wrong w that but its like he is kinda following his sisters ways, for ex. her kids (age 3 girl & 7 boy) are not aloud to watch PG movies-cuz most of them have violence in them , but she will let them play violence vidoe games, they can not say the word FART ( i dont blame that one) they have to say toot, but her 7 yr old is alound to make fart noises with his arm pit, i mean boys are gonna be boys but her ways make no sence and i would like to rasie our son (who is 1 yrs) with some room. If you no what i m saying, i would like to do it our way not other way-What do you think about her ways?
2007-01-23 09:01:10 · 8 answers · asked by TIKI 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I agree with allowing children to have space....but there has to be clear cut lines. And her ways do sound a little off....games but not movies....but to each his own.....When I was young I had a lot of freedom, but there were lines that were very clearly marked and you did not cross them. That is how I will raise my kids.....they will have some freedom but when it comes down to it..there will be lines that do not get crossed....Parenting to me is a fine line between allowing you kids to be who they are and who they want to be without pushing to many of your own wants on them, and at the same time teaching them right from wrong. That can be hard, especially when they get older and are able to form their own opinions on what is right or not. There is a very find line, and most parents find it....but here what I say....you raise you kids how you feel is best and don't worry about her so much.
2007-01-23 09:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by yetti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you would allow your boyfriend to raise your son unless you are not able to raise him yourself. I think there IS something wrong with a child's being separated from his other, unless, as I said, the mother is not able to care for her own child.
It would seem to me you should try to get custody of your child. If you can't do that then you need to either talk to his father or else talk to the authorities (lawyers, social services, etc.) who may be responsible for placing the child with his father and see if they'll ask him to change a few things about how things are done with your son.
Your baby is one one year old. He isn't watching videos or making sounds with his underarm. What his father's sister does with her kids at this point probably isn't affecting your child.
If you have retained any parental rights when your baby is older you could talk to his father about what would make sense to you as far as what he can and can't do. For now, the other kids don't matter much. If, for some reason, you have relinquished or lost all parental rights then there may not be much you can do other than to be glad your child is not in a foster home.
The children are 3 and 7. I think their mother is right not to have them watching PG movies. I think she's right to have her children use a nicer word to describe flatulence. I think its normal for the little kid to make that noise in spite of being told not to use the word. I think the violent videos are not a good idea, but if its just that one issue that is probably something you could talk to your child's father about when the time is right.
2007-01-23 18:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, she sounds like she has some good ideas. I don't understand why she would let her kids play violent video games if she doesn't allow them to watch even PG movies... but I imagine she's trying to do her best. I think children need boundaries and guidance. I think that when parents allow their children too many freedoms they end up growing up to be hard to control and unruly... and spoiled. Children thrive when they have rules and boundaries and small freedoms. I don't agree that you allow children too much "room" to do what they want. You have to be the parent... not the friend.
2007-01-23 17:08:35 · answer #3 · answered by Haulie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, from what you say, it sounds like she's saying do one thing but don't do the other even though they are very similar. Sounds like she is sending them mixed messages. Heck I got confused just reading it! LOL Discuss this with your son's father and try to come to some conclusions that suit both of you. It won't work raising a child one way while the other parent does it another way.
2007-01-23 17:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her way might be fine for her and her family but you are the parent and you and your fiance need to come to an agreement on how you want things to be in your family. You need to be firm and tell him how you feel and if it is something you feel strongly about make it your way you are this childs mom.
2007-01-23 19:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has double standards. Raise them your way and remember this:
You can only arm them with the knowledge, ettiquette, and morals. You can't give them all the answers and in the end they'll do with it what they damn well please. You can only hope they use the knowledge you gave them.
If she let them jump off a bridge would he let yours?? (That's the momism in me)
2007-01-23 17:09:57 · answer #6 · answered by Mickey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your husband are both the parents and you need to talk to each other and compromise your differences. Don't ask us talk to him. People here will just be rude and make you more frustrated. Good luck!
2007-01-24 16:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of us are perfect parents. You have to go with what feels right for you.
2007-01-23 17:09:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋