I have been seeing a girl on and off for the last year. The first time we were dating I was going to ask her to marry me but we broke up (do to an old relationship of hers). When we started going out the next time I told her that I made plans to ask her to be my wife and soon after did ask her infact I asked her about 40 times. We broke up in November and have not talked except on Christmas for 2 minutes on the phone when she called to say hello and to wish me a nice Christmas. She has had my heart since the day I first seen her and I think about her everyday even at times when we have not even talked for months. She called today and asked if I could pick her up tomaroe and with out a thought I told her yes. My question is does this just make me stupid as all hell or what ? Can you tell someone NO if you love them even though they have hurt you so much. I cant think of anyone that has made me so happy or hurt me so much. When I was married I dont think my ex-wife hurt me near this.
2007-01-23 08:53:14 · 14 answers · asked by darin s 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i can only tell you from experience no your not stupid at all. you really love her. and it is very hard to get over some who has your heart. no matter how long you guys have been apart, that actually makes you love her more when you hear from her or see her. i am in the same situation. and even though me and my ex have not been together in a year if he calls me right now i bet i will run to him just as if it were yesterday. try telling her how you feel and see if she feels the same.
2007-01-23 09:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by misseshodges 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez! Tough situation man, I don't envy you. I don't think you're a sucker or stupid as hell, just a gentleman, not that that counts for much anymore, but there are still a few of us left.
I can only suggest you bench any relationship talk and just ask her why she's hurt you the way she has. Don't get in her face (Although that may be difficult) but try to be rational and give the impression you are seeking closure. Being reasonable she does owe you some kind of explanation, or it would seem so.
When you care that much about someone it's not easy to say no, but if she isn't willing to give you some sensible answers you may have to. Good luck.
2007-01-23 09:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by Taliesin Pen Beirdd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You most certainly can tell people you love NO. If you continue to allow this woman to use you as old faithful and to be there for her beck and call she will continue to use you as such. But, in my opinion, you show her that you have a backbone and will not be allowed to be hurt anymore by her behaviour then she may actually respect you more for this. It's tough call when you are so taken by someone but obviously this relationship hasn't worked out twice in the past, perhaps it is not meant to be. Whatever the outcome please do stand up for your own rights and best of luck with everything.
2007-01-23 09:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like this girl is afraid of commitment, I mean if you asked her to marry you 40 times and she broke it off then she is not wife material right now. And the fact that you keep making yourself available to her when she wants you to be around is pretty stupid in my opinion. If you keep dropping everything for her then she will think she still has you wrapped around her little finger, and you will always be there for her to fall back on when things aren't so right in her life at the time. My advice is, try and move on as best as you can. And if you just happen to be single when she is ready for a long term commitment, then good, if not it sounds to me like it is her loss.
2007-01-23 09:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by melody g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your love is awesome but its not being returned equally. She is using you - or she is really afraid of commitment. I think you deserve better, and right now are a slave to this woman. She says Jump and You say How High basically. Its time to get out there and start meeting others, you may not want to but it will help you become a stronger person, and could possibly make her realize what she is giving up or missing if she doesn't open up to the life with you.
2007-01-23 09:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not stupid. You just really love this girl. She obviously does not want to marry you, but she could call you knowing that you will always be there for her. In my opinion, cut all ties. You sound like a nice man and you need time to get over her. You will meet a very nice girl someday who will love you the same.
2007-01-23 09:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid to go for her still. I can say that it's probably not the best decision.. but i know because i have been there. In a very simalar situation before. Just know that you are setting yourself up to get hurt again. If it's worth the chance to you than go for it. Good Luck!
2007-01-23 09:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer can be honest and most importantly is the truth. Now the truth and the honesty can be a bias, offensive answer, but the truth is always remained as the truth.
Do you think you can handle the truth??
If you want a kiss-up, comforted answer and ignore the real solid fact, then you CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH, then this place is not for you. You might want to go to Dr. Phil or Oprah shows.
2007-01-23 09:03:58 · answer #8 · answered by Infinite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not love you.No i dont think your'e stupid.But how many times will you let her break your'e Heart.She know's she has you and so she uses you when needed,dont you think you can do BETTER.Its HARD but Yes you can say NO and you should if you ever want to meet someone nicer.Someone that loves you with NO EX involved
2007-01-23 10:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by rhoda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does she say to all this love? Does she say that you should just be friends - what? Love can be very hard when its not returned the same way. I suggest you find other women because there are many who would be willing to be with you.
2007-01-23 08:58:31 · answer #10 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋