I know my husband loves me. I know he worships me. I just feel unappreciated sometimes. I pamper him when he comes home from work. I rub his back, give him foot massages, I will even prepare a hot bath. I make his favorite dinners. What I want tho is for him to notice that. I want for him to not gripe at me because I forgot to buy more papertowels at the store. I am not perfect. I have tried talking to him about it and he apologizes...but he forgets! Once he came home to find the kids in bed asleep, me standing in the doorway of our bedroom in heels, a teddy, his tie , with a cold beer waiting on him. He loved it. I feel like I do for him, but he doesn't want to do for me. a flower from the front yard or offering to help around the house. (I work full time too, take care of our three children and our house.) How can I make him notice me... and make me feel worthwhile? what am I doing wrong?
2007-01-23 08:30:56 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stop doing it for a while, we get to accustomed to certain actions and they become expected instead of a privilege.
Once you stop doing these 'extras' he will notice it more. Men like a challenge, this should prompt him to start doing some extras for you to get those actions reciprocated.
2007-01-23 08:35:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a tough situation not feeling appreciated. The hardest thing is- he loves when you do the extra effort, but can you really do that stuff ALL the time?! It sucks to have to drop hints, but maybe point something out to him, like how much you like flowers or how you would appreciate a meal that you didn't have to prepare yourself. If this doesn't work, you may have to be much more direct and just tell him- sometimes that's what men need. Or you could try just cutting back on the pampering that you are giving him- that would make him not take it for granted. Do more things for yourself and pamper yourself for a change and he may realize you need some attention too. The main thing is- I don't really think you are doing anything wrong, he is just expecting too much without really saying thank you. Hope this helps.
2007-01-23 08:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by Em 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It already sounds as if you are doing a lot and he is lucky to have you. To bad you are taken already. The easiest thing that you can do is to change your appearance. I don't mean bleach your skin like Michael Jackson or have a dozen face lifts like Joan Rivers. Something simple like getting your hair, nails, and toes done. Then getting a couple of new outifits and also some lingerie. I said a few outfits, because he may not notice at first, (not to mention you will feel good seeing the new you) but even a blind man will notice you are dressing differently after a couple of days. Then once he notices, that's when you break out with the lingerie and excuse my french (rock his world!!!) If you do it right he will want more and be attracted to the new you. If he still doesn't notice, that's proof that he is as dense as the door to a bank vault and it may be time to seek professional help.
2007-01-23 08:41:26 · answer #3 · answered by Drew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to get his own stuff and start helping out around the house or your gonna take a trip around the world and see how well he can handle a job and the kids and keep the house clean when you are gone. your not his momma and if he wants to be treated like a baby then ship his A@@ home to momma and let her deal with her. but make sure you change the locks so he can not get back into the house until he changes the way he looks at all the hard work you do..or hire a sitter for the night and go out on the town and have your self papered for a change.
2007-01-23 08:45:53 · answer #4 · answered by cindy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunny you're not doing anything wrong! hmm this is sort of hard..communication is the key..talk about your day and his. and then have a night out - just you and him. it's probably because of the children that is interfiering with the relationship, making you 2 not spend more time together. and then after that..have maybe a family day where you take the kids to the park so you and him can have some alone time while watching your children play! :) hope i helped.. good luck!
2007-01-23 08:35:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He an I need to go on wife swap sometime,,i do all of that save for the teddy part for my wife and she still acts like your husband,, i have never and will never cheat on her,, but she still treats me like an object not a husband the only thing i can tell you to do is stop being the dream wife i wish i had and i'll do the same ..just to see if that changes matters,,if for me it doesnt,,i will walk away with my kids,,good luck hun,,i think your gonna need it
2007-01-23 08:38:34 · answer #6 · answered by kewl69charger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying too hard. Sounds like you worship him and NOT the other way around. If he worshipped you then you would feel it.
Look, he may not really care so much about all your driven effort. RELAX. I had beautiful nude portraits done plus all the stuff you are talking about and more, and....it made no difference in his dead personality. I left. Now I have someone who is lit up by me just being me and i don't have to kill myself trying.
2007-01-23 08:46:19 · answer #7 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first thing... YOU are not doing anything wrong. It's your husband that needs the reality check, and realize how good he has it thanks to you.
If I were in your shoes, I would sit down with him and tell him everything you find wrong in your relationship. Explain to him, how you go out of your way to make him comfortable and happy. What has he done for you lately? He has to realize it's hard work to take care of 3 growing children and to keep house.
Hopefully it works out for you.
2007-01-23 08:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by Janine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I understood this bloke. He deffinatly does not appreciate you and you need to find another way to wake him up to the reality that he should. maybe you shoul not do anything at all for him for a couple of days and see how he is. If he gripes at you then he is acting like a spoiled baby and you may need to go to counsling even if it is for your own self worth...good luck
2007-01-23 08:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by java348 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop doing it you are a live in mom phone him a work give a list of things you need for him to pick up if not then send him out ti get it i would like a wife like that but i`m never home long enough for that
2007-01-23 08:38:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋