I am 19 and the guy that I like is 28. I've liked him for about a year now and ever since I met him there has been some tension between us. Both of us have dated other people in the time that we have known each other because we both tend to indicate that the age difference is too big for us. I am always concerned about what people would think of me for dating someone nine years older, and also what people would think of him. (I don't want them to think he is a creepy guy or anything). Recently, the tension has escalated a lot. He became jealous of one of my guy friends who is my age and has been inquiring as to whether or not we are dating, etc. He's also been bringing up ex-girlfriends of his at random times. I just don't know what to do.
2007-01-23 08:28:06 · 16 answers · asked by jdrum311 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I should also mention that he is one of my drum instructors, but not for a school or anything, just a private instructor. But, I have gotten to know him pretty well because I 'interned' with him for about 4 and a half months. But we have a friendly relationship (for example: I go to his band's shows, etc)
2007-01-23 08:28:16 · update #1
age is just numbers its about what you feel
2007-01-23 08:31:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think 11 years difference is the problem--it's that you are still so young to be settling down. He is at the age where is probably looking for a wife and getting ready to have a family. You should be thinking about college and finding out who you are before making a commitment to one guy. Also, I can't imagine that you are as mature as a guy who is 28. If you are, then you are very unique....if you are not, he must be pretty immature to want to date someone who is still in her teens.
The fact that he is jealous about your other dates and brings up his girlfriends indicates that he is probably not very mature and maybe has some personality issues with being passive aggressive. Be careful and don't jump into anything too soon. Enjoy your youth!
2007-01-23 08:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on how you described him and your relationship with him, I would say that this particular guy is too old for you. The fact that you already have significant amounts of conflict in your relationship with him at this stage is big red flag for me. Here's the question you must ask yourself: WHY is he dating a 19 year old and not someone closer to his own age? I suspect the answer is that women closer to his own age can see that he is immature and unstable. Since you are younger you are not able to see this (not yet, anyway). Since he is 28 years old but only has the maturity level of a 19 year old, that suggests that he is going to be immature for the rest of his life. My advice: move on. Find someone more mature, whether your own age or a little older. Relationships with immature people don't last, and lead to a load of heartache.
2007-01-23 08:38:17 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. SC1ence 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not imagine 11 years massive difference is the quandary--it must be that you're although so youthful to be settling down. he's on the age the position is mostly searching for a spouse and on the element of have a family members. you should be wondering about college and studying out who you're previously than making a dedication to at least a million guy. also, I at the prompt are not waiting to assume that you're as mature as a guy who's 28. when you're, then you're very particular....in case you at the prompt are not, he must be captivating immature to need thus far anybody who remains in her teens. the shown actuality that he's jealous about your different dates and brings up his girlfriends shows that he's mostly no longer very mature and likely has some personality problems with being passive aggressive. be careful and do not leap into some element too quickly. appreciate your childhood!
2016-10-16 00:13:23 · answer #4 · answered by filonuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there is a problem with the age gap. It would be different if you were under 18 though. But I actually prefer to date older guys becuase they are more mature and aren't caught up in the normal drama etc.....
I wouldn't worry about what other people say as long as you are happy. They wouldn't be worried about what you thought if they were happy.
Good luck...hope everything works out for the best.
2007-01-23 08:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by CPA2B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think both of you are not honest with each other. Is it friendship or is it a romantic relationship you are looking for. If the latter then you should discuss the age difference and how it makes you feel and from there you can see if you will get comfortable. In normal circumstances love should be able to overcome any difference. Set your priorities and then from there you can decide.
2007-01-23 08:36:15 · answer #6 · answered by pet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is just a number. You can't help who you care about, and it really doesn't effect anything. It's only nine years anyways, there's people out there with more age differance than that.
2007-01-23 08:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol..i dont know what im doing here...u stole my question girl!..lol..
n what the hec u talkin bout 9 yrs diff!...my guy is 40!...lol..im 20...n thats the only thing bothering me too...but in the end its compatability that matters....we did not meet on good terms...rather had lotta issues initially...but it just turned out to be a comfortable relationship...i was the one who confessed my likin towards him...also particularly mentioned that I'M JUST ATTRACTED TO HIM n i know its not love...but now i broke up with him(not that we were goin on ...but whatever u name this relation..oh yes..v never got physical either) becoz he started acting very possesive n sentimental..its been 3months then and i find myslf readin his txt msgs over n over again...n i really miss him...n i realize 20yrs is a huge diff...9yrs is not...
so my point is...besides age diff...u think u guys are best match for each other?...coz trust me when a guy starts gettin clingy..its definitely not a good sign to start or keep up a relationship
hope this helps...19 is quite a tender age...just make sure u dont put urslf in trouble..take care girl...bye bye
2007-01-23 08:45:55 · answer #8 · answered by close_in_destroy_everything 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it not to much...GO FOR IT.....u two obviously have a hot chemistry time to explore it...do not worry what others think 10 years is nothing....all this age difference crap started after WWII before that all ages married and hooked up with all other ages.....
2007-01-23 08:34:32 · answer #9 · answered by Tikcus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you think about it in terms of he was 18 when you were just going into 4th grade, then it seems bad but when you're 30, he'll wont even be forty. I say go for it. Ur both legal.
2007-01-23 08:33:52 · answer #10 · answered by Nic Jones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife is 13 years younger, we're celebrating our 25th Anniversary in July/
2007-01-23 08:36:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋