Help Help Help!?

Question

I need encouragement!! I have broken up from a long term relationship for almost one year!! Even though i know I should help myself to move on by trying different new things and meeting new people, my heart still feel painful. I don't know what to do. I am like a souless person. Everyday, just work and waiting to go back home. Can anyone share their experience with me on how to heal successfully after a break up? i still want to build up healthy relationship. But i don't know how to overcome the fear.

Answer 1

Seriously, get yourself to the place in life where you know you can be happy and fulfilled without even being in a relationship.

How do you do that? Try volunteering somewhere and get your mind off dwelling on your hurtful past.

Doing things for other people takes your focus off yourself AND gives you other ways to define yourself than by your relationships.

I think that when you feel more self-fulfilled you'll feel less fearful and more confident about trying dating again.

Answer 2

Breaking up is never easy, but it sounds like you are having a really hard time with it.. Everything you are feeling is valid, and moving on is not always easy.
I know exactly how you feel. I was in a long term relationship that ended very badly. I was dumped, big time.
My heart was completely broken. I thought I wanted to die. I turned inward, became a hermit.. Drank a lot, and cried a lot.
Slowly I began stepping out with friends who knew what I'd been through. You need friends, friends will make this a little easier.
Don't worry about the dating thing, it will happen in time, you'll know when you are ready.
Make yourself leave the house, take yourself to a movie, to coffee, shopping at least a couple of hours on the weekend.
Rent a movie and have a good friend over.
There is a terrific book out called " Letting Go" it deals with all that you are going through right now, pick it up.
Good Luck to you.. I'll be thinking about you and praying you'll be ok.

Answer 3

Just remember that it's his lost - not yours.
I know it hard to be alone after being with someone for so long.
But usually people stay together for convenience not love.
It's nice when you want to see a movie and you know exactly who your going to see it with or to be able to go to dinner and he'll know exactly what you like. And usually those are the moments that you miss him the most, I'm sure. But think about the days when you first met, wasn't it fun to be nervous? Fun to stay on the phone for hours?
You will have those great moments again.
I would suggest you pick up a hobby or start working out. This way you have something to look forward to everyday.
Then after you start to feel better and not think of him anymore try dating. Speed dating is a fun and easy way to meet new people. Good luck!

Answer 4

The quickest fix is to find another romantic interest. Put yourself out there and see what happens. There are billions of people in the world, and a lot of them have qualities you will find just as endearing - or more so - than anything your ex had.

However, try to do this without being unfair to anyone else. Don't use people for a quick self-esteem boost. Treat others the way you wish to be treated and you will eventually find a worthwhile relationship.

Answer 5

Just left a 10 year relationship myself. I know it hurts but about the only thing you can do is take some self time and reflect on the good and bad and learn from it. Then you can truly move forward. As for the fear, just put yourself out there. You may get rejected a few times, but take it as a good thing in that you are narrowing your choices.

Answer 6

first of all take time to grieve because you wer with this person for a year 2nd take time to cry for all of the things that you have lost 3rd take time to scream /vent . 4th take time to get angry because life is not always fair . 5th remember to eat choclate or somthing sweet . 6th do not forget you heart or your memories because thinking about the good times does not make you a bad person . after you have done all of this then take some time for your self after a while it will not hurt so much I know it does right now but in time that will ease you have to remember that if this person was not the right one then mr righr is still out there looking for you the most important thing I can tell you is that you need to suround yourself with people who do love you and care about you and try not to get frusterated with people constantly asking if you are ok . they mean well but you are the only one who truly knows how you are feeling . try nort to rush into another relationship because you do not want to carry the baggage from this break up with you . you will heal in time it may take months or it may even take a couple of years. you already sound like a very strong person just hang in there it just takes time you will eventually feel like your old self I know it hurts I have been there before . after I took some much needed time for my self I healed and the next week I met the man who would later become my husband we have now been married for 16yrs . so it may not seem like it will be ok but in time it will believe me your happy ending is still out there hope this helps

Answer 7

im sorry hear that i went through the same thing, my bf of 2 yrs cheated on me with my cousin. i cried for about 3 weeks. it's going to take u a while to get over it and now i go out on dates and im kinda mean cause i dont want my heart to get broken again. but it does take time u just need some time by ur self and when ur ready to go out u will!!!! good luck

Answer 8

Take your time with a new person and go at a pace that you're comfortable with. The most important thing to not do is compare a new relationship with a past one. Try to do everything to get your ex out of your mind.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with the way that you feel.
Give yourself time.
If needed, please think about doing some volunteer work.
You will meet new people and get some personal satisfaction out of helping others and that will in turn help you.
GOOD LUCK and do try to do a relationship autopsy so that you can figure out what went wrong in your last relationship so you dont make that mistake again!

Answer 10

Let chocolate ease the pain, but don't get addicted ;-), and have a very close Friend introduce to someone you might like to get to know... you just have to put the pain in the very back of your mind and move on...