I am friends with this guy and sort of have feelings for him. When we hang out, he often brings up his ex girlfriend (mostly negatively). Does this mean he still has feelings for her? They broke up over a year ago.
2007-01-23 08:16:59 · 26 answers · asked by Bo B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You said he brings her up in a negative manner, so I would say no.
2007-01-23 08:19:19 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Smooth 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to tell without seeing you two together-- this could be a few things. The main thing is HOW he brings it up. Is her name just kind of mentioned because she is connected to a story that is relevant to a conversation on another topic, or is the ex THE topic? If the name is just in passing because he was a big part of his life for a long time (i.e., it's hard to re-tell anything without her name coming up), it's probably fine and you should drop it. If she's *the* topic, beware of the fact that he's 1) Clearly not over her or at least he's not over the anger of whatever happened, 2) He's the type of person to continue to bad-mouth someone an entire year after the fact, and 3) He's either oblivious to your feelings for him OR he is bringing her up as a VERY indirect way of hurting you to let you know he's not interested in you. I he know you care about him, you should drop this guy like a bad habit-- he's obviously not capable to talking frankly and honestly about serious issues. I'd take a step back and take an objective look at your friend's character.
2007-01-23 08:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lucid Dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend has been gone for nearly a year now, and I have to supress the urge to talk about her quite a bit. I do a pretty good job of it, when I'm with a girl I really like. If he doesn't know that you have feelings for him, he probably feels fine talking about such things in front of you, but if he's anything like me, he would make a conscience effort to not bring her up IF he knew that there was a potential relationship between the two of you.
To answer your question, if he's still talking about her, even negatively, then yes, he probably does still have feelings for her. If he didn't still constantly think about her, and was bitter about her, she wouldn't be in his mind that often to where he'd bring her up as much. I think it's obvious he, like me, is still hurting over what she did to me.
2007-01-23 08:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by THE_BIG_JOSHBOWSKI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably. If he doesn't still have feelings for her, then he's still burned from the bad break up.
Take it slowly. Try to find out where they went wrong. See if that might be an issue for a possible you two. If it could be a problem, then the end will probably be the same for you both. If not, take it slow and let him get used to the idea of ya'll.!
Good Luck.
2007-01-23 08:20:44 · answer #4 · answered by Wraith95 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have to know more, but try telling him nobody cares about his ex except him.
It may be because you two became friends when he was first going through it, so it's a bond you share in his mind. It may be because it's the last relationship he had, he hasn't really started looking forward to a new one, and when the relationship subject comes up....
Who knows? But if it's irritating, tell him. You might tell him that if he didn't talk about her all of the time, you might ask him out on a real date:)
2007-01-23 08:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not still have feeling for her that way. However, the fact that he still constantly talks about her tells me that he didn't give himself enough time to get over this last relationship. I would aim those feelings towards someone else, at least for a little while. =) Be his friend, as that seems to be what he really needs right now. (and no, friends with benefits does not count...lol)
2007-01-23 08:22:28 · answer #6 · answered by unique2477 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably still talks about her because she was a big part of his life, it doens't necessarily mean he's pining over her. But if you have feelings for him I'd get them out in the open, they're not doing any good bottled up!
2007-01-23 08:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jennylind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. He may still have feelings, but they are negative. He may not be over what happened to cause the breakup or the breakup itself.
Perhaps, he was the cause of the breakup and feels badly about it and has to put her down to make him feel better about himself.
2007-01-23 08:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by Monica T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess it does. Sorry since you have feeling for him. He might still want to be her friend but just talk to him about the subject.
2007-01-23 08:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by charmedmagick28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me - you would feel more threatened if he didn't speak about her. In this case you see things are under control. If he had some feelings, he would try to hide them by not mentioning her at all.
2007-01-23 08:20:24 · answer #10 · answered by gery_encycle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋