So i have been through a few realtionships and the guys when they would talk and no action etc.. well, they all said i deserve someone better than them.they did try to get serious with me,but they felt they were not good enough for me and to support wise. well i just got out a serious realtionship and we were engaged,i still love him with all my heart,he had problems with his mom she was over controling,she threathed him.. and he was trying to move out..etc... i know supporting wise he probably isnt good... yes i do miss him,i would love him and i to be together again..but.. why do guys get serious with me then ditch me because they say i deserve someone better?then they go with other girls who cant really be honest and they end up hurting them anyway..i mean whats wrong with me,im honest,loving and respectful and i love to give my heart to someone...also my ex does not make sence the recent guythat i was en,he still loves me but i dont know what we are.. please help and explain this.
2007-01-23 08:12:20 · 9 answers · asked by Andrea 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
they usually tell me that im the perfect girl,for them etc.im not like other girls and im one of a kind..well why leave one of a kind behind?
2007-01-23 08:19:33 · update #1
well why do men complain they want the type of a girl like me,then ditch me?
2007-01-23 08:20:49 · update #2
Andrea,
First, you have to calm down and breathe. If you re-read your message, you may find that it looks rushed, nervous, and you were just writing what you were thinking at that moment that you typed.
Okay now? Good.
Try to remember that no matter how much you love someone or how hard you try, sometimes it is just not a perfect fit. Just look at how many marriages in today's society end up in divorce, separation, or annulment. Look at all the past marriages that people stayed together "for the children" when they really did not love the other person any more.
If you try to push the relationship, it will not work. If you take it too casually, it may also not work. There has to be a balance and a concious effort on both the man and woman to get this to click.
You did not mention your age, but from the question, you seem to still be very young. I'm sure that things probably look terrible now, but you have no idea what is coming "around the next corner".
Life is funny that way. I'm not sure if you are a fan of Alanis Morissette, but she has a really appropriate lyric in her song "Ironic":
"...Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
when you think everything's okay and everything's going right. And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your face..."
Cheer up girl! Things will be better tomorrow.
2007-01-23 08:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by SteveN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem, I think it is because people mainly men feel that being honest with a woman means hurting her. So they lie about the reasons they want out, they lie to you and to themselves. So until you get the the real reasons you will never really know what went wrong.
But the only thing you can do, is review your relationships honestly by yourself, you may see where you went wrong. These things don’t fall apart by themselves, it takes two to make one and two to break one.
In the last relationship, don’t ever underestimate the influence a mother has. This is the one person that he has known him all his life and she know just how to speak to him. She has been getting him to do alsmost everything she wants, since the day he was born. Why would that change now?
Trust me I know, my mother is the same. No matter how much I like someone, a simple shale of her head and they either go or they stay.
2007-01-23 16:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happend to me. Somtimes guys get cold feet. their biggest fear is to marry the wrong woman. If they bail on you its because they saw a side of you that they can't stand or they saw something that reminded them of their ex gf. Meet him in person and tell him that its fkd up that he teased you and you felt violated and used for amusement and that you dont appreciate it. If he refruses to call back or meet up to talk it means he could care less bout how u feel and what you're going through so you gotta get over it and find a replacement. Show him that he is replaceable if he doesn't make his move on you soon. Hope this helps
2007-01-23 16:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by minispears05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really very simple. These guys are just not that into you. And it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with YOU. It just means that you're dating the wrong kind of man. I suggest making a list, mental or physical and list the traits you would like in a mate. If your next relationship doesn't satisfy these traits in one way or another, leave them. Remember no one's perfect but you can still have standards.
2007-01-23 16:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by iam_simplysara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All these guys are just not into you! I mean maybe they are right and you do deserve someone better than them. Just wait for the right guy. I know it might seem like you are never going to find someone else but you will. Good things come to those who wait. Just be patient and let love look for you! All these guys are not worth your time. Just look at it this way "good riddance"! Good Luck!
2007-01-23 16:21:22 · answer #5 · answered by xSilverStarx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not all men are like this and the same could be said about women. You just have not found the right guy as of yet.
Its natural to miss him because your feelings do not jsut shut off overnight.
The breakup was going to happen and him saying that you deserve somebody better is his way of trying to ease the pain
2007-01-23 16:19:27 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
guys don't like nice girls. ive learned this. guys want girls who are going to use them for everythng they are worth, and then dump them (thought they may not know it, or admit it). us good girls don't get the good guys.. we get the leftovers usually. the a*sholes who treat us like crap. then when we finally do get a good guy, they pull the "ur too good for me" bs. b/c they want the bad girls.. thats all i can figure. if u figure it out lemme know.. lol
2007-01-23 16:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by sugar69c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you do deserve better. Or you just intimidate them.
2007-01-23 16:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
they are probably scared that you will dich them
2007-01-23 16:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋