What leads children to become rude, apathetic, hang out in crowds, vandalise, drink alcohol?

Question

What factors cause this to happen? Is it because their parents ignore them? They aren't encouraged to have hobbies? If a child grows up in a rough area does it have to follow that they will become a troubled child?Is it possible to raise a happy, responsible child on a council estate?
I value your opinions on this because I live in a wonderful area now but it is only a 2 bed and soon Iwill have to buy a three bed elsewhere and I will have to buy in a worse area because of monety shortage. So I am worried that my children will become druggies or layabouts.

You are saying bad parenting causes this. But what is bad parenting in your opinion?

Answer 1

There are so many factors that lead children down the wrong path.
It is possible to raise secure, happy responsible child on a council estate, the same as it is possible for a child from the poshest area in town to go right off the rails.
Yes a lot has to do with parenting, I also think a lot of it has to do with the crowd your child mixes with, which boils down to the school they attend.
I lived on a council estate for 4 years, my children went to a school in the next village, they mixed with those children and I didn't have any problems.
I think an awful lot of it has to do with your attitude too, if they are encouraged to pursue different activities, hobbies, things to help them form friendships with people interested in the same things, they are less likely to hang with the wrong crowd.
Don't worry, if they have a happy safe enviroment at home, that is far more important than where the home is.

Answer 2

I would say that it is the environment that the child is brought up in. That is obvious in sexual abuse and physical abuse cases. Same thing with ALcholol abuse. What a child sees his parent do, is what the child does.
It isn't all the parent's though, either. Even if they are good parents, and a child lives in the ghetto, he is still in the ghetto. All children crave acceptance. They may get that from their parents, but they want that from their peers. They will do (usually) whatever they have to do to have friends. If that means doing drugs, or whatever.
Also, if they know that they are loved and appreciated, they are more likely to share their thoughts and feelings with you. If you will listen to them and help them, instead of criticizing them, they will want to keep that friendship. My parents made sure that I knew that they trusted me and loved me no matter what. The worst punishment that I ever recieved was when they told me that they could no longer trust me. (but that they still loved me anyway). It almost killed me to know that I had let them down.

Anyway, You can raise your children right, no matter what the circumstances may be. It will be a lot of work, but in 20 years, it will be worth it.

Answer 3

Usually it's peer pressure and normal teenage rebellion. And yes...the environment that kids live in will affect them. So if there's anyway that you can find another place to live, other than that bad area.....go for it. The biggest problem these days is that parents don't disciplne their children. No means no.....it doesn't mean maybe or if you keep asking I'll eventually tell you yes. Also, it's ok to spank a child......but I'm not talking about abuse....there is a big difference. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

Often times, it's a case of too much free time and not enough rules. There was a case in my area recently of four teenage boys who went around vandalizing cars with a BB Gun because they were bored. They broke windows in 36 cars in two towns - that the police know of! (IMO - not only should they be prosecuted criminally, but sued civilly by each car owner for damages!)

It is possible to raise a happy responsible kid in this day and age - as long as you have rules and consequences and you actually spend time with you kids. My mom teaches college, and she's shocked to find out that family dinners are a novelty. When I was growing up, we HAD to be home for dinner EVERY night - unless we were working. Too many families don't seem to do that.

Answer 5

Oppressive Capitalism
Oppressive Socialism

Republicans

Substandard Education
Substandard Treatment
Poor Parenting
If you treat people like they're criminals long enough... eventually many of them will become criminals.

Giving in to the pressure of stereotypes and labels to become more acceptable to society.

Apathy - there's really nothing to care about
And even if we did care there's not much of anything we can do.

Crappy low payings jobs and expensive college tuition.
Horrible Teachers

Violence
Abuse

Drugs even if you're not using them too many people around you are and nobody cares.

Criminals live better lives than most other people.

Hobbies cost money.
Everything cost money.

Nobody owns anything so nobody can do anything except play in the street.

Children are poor.

Republicans
Ronald Reagan especially.

Crack is cheap.
Crackheads come cheap too.

Broken families.

Selfishness
Greed
Anger
Hatred

Crooked cops
Crooked Narcs
Crooked Politicians
Republicans

I could go on forever...

Other guy had a good point... lack of mentors except the ones I mentioned above.

Answer 6

I can see your problem there...
A few (older) friends of mine have had the same problem
I believe that always being there for your child without being invasive is good, strict but fair etc.
Parents who let they're kids run wild aren't very good parents.
I myself don't drink at all, but my siblings do, so maybe this is because my parents never drank excess alcohol.
Don't force your children not to drink or take drugs, they have a tendency to rebel in that kind of situation.
Hopefully, they'll make the right choice for themselves
I hope I've been some help!

Answer 7

I don't know if there is enough space for me to give my opinion. So many factors can come into play here. Low income parents who are forced to work a lot of hours--in return their children are left with too much freedom. Drug addicted parents who are too consumed with their own wants to focus and direct their children in the right direction. An abused (physically or sexually) child who is just fighting for repair..oftentimes turn to drugs or sex to "medicate" or build up their feelings of being wanted or fitting in. Some children end up with severe mental illnesses or even mild illnesses. Kids who are raised by well intended parents...who stay in a horrible marriage (for the sake of children). Some kids who have been pushed away by their peers simply because they don't fit a certain mainstream profile...often end up turning to anyone who will cause them to feel wanted..sometimes even when it has negative behaviors...children and teenagers just want to feel like they fit into society. There are so many possibilities..that it is really hard to answer your question.
For you I would recommend that you stay focused on your child..don't think that you have to work and live a certain financial lifestyle and sacrifice your children's childhood working in order to maintain that. Be open and honest and I say last but not least...remember...they only have one chance at childhood and you want to be the one to lay the foundation for who they are as adults. Love them enough to piss them off once in a while. We as parents are here to help them become wonderful people and some lessons are harder than others!!! Sometimes parents try to make all the right moves for their kids...and even then some end up making poor choices for themselves. I wish you luck and just remember...no body really knows all of the answers!! Do your best!!

Answer 8

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Answer 9

parenting every time- i have very little but i do have 4 children of all ages whom im proud of and im sure anyone else would be-my kids dont have the latest designer gear but what they do have is good manners and a deep sense of whats wrong and whats right. i too live in a rough area and some kids round here are a disgrace and if possible i would move tomorrow. please if u live in a nice area try to think of other ways like sectioning off a bedroom to make 2 etc or convert the loft-not a day goes by when i dont envy people who live in a nice place -to live in a place like i do where you wouldnt let your cat out never mind your children is heartbreaking so please dont move if you relly dont have to xx

Answer 10

I think a lot of it is the parents. Unfortunately, some parents don't know where their kids are when they go out. They don't make it their business to know who their friends are. They let young kids out to go off with older kids. This leads to kids bringing each other up. Kids need constructive things to do with their time.

Also, it's good to communicate with your child on a regular basis so you get an idea about what they're into.

I would encourage yours to bring their mates home so they're off the streets or drive them to a cinema or where ever they want to go. Kids hanging out on the streets is, I think, a recipe for disaster.

I think it's good that you are forward thinking and shows that your child probably won't fall by the way.

Best wishes.