I am in a relationship, happy, I'm 39, and very sexually active with him, I love being close to him, and no its not the only thing I love doing things with him, for him, cooking, hanging out, its a full relationship. However I found out on here that he only wants sex like 2x a week at most, and he never told me, he tells others. I feel stupid and not wanting to have sex anymore, how do I approach this with him?
2007-01-23 08:04:28 · 17 answers · asked by Cute Stuff 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My questions are not complaints they are simple questions to see if someone sees things like me or not. Complaining about my current relationship would refer to questions more like, he is an A$$ and this happened and this and this,
if you have nothing nice to say, do not bother answering!
2007-01-23 08:20:36 · update #1
My first thought, you approach it with him "Heart to Heart"
You seem to have a wonderful relationship so having a nice little heart to heart shouldn't be a problem. The problem I would see is in him telling sexual things to others.~~ You know I kind of see that as a man thing ! I've never found out anything sexual second hand and I don't think I ever would but I found out a lot of other things I would have liked to known in hearing my husband talking with someone else or in a crowd. Many of my friends relate to this as well. We have a wonderful marriage of 54 yrs. & 5 grown married children and I am so grateful. I feel every day that I have more than I deserve. **** Luck to you and I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
Have a nice evening & stay warm.~Jill
P.S Nothing is wrong with you~~~~Nothing !!!!
2007-01-23 08:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you. It is not that you are wrong or he is wrong but you two apparently are not communicating. Some men don't have strong sex drives. How are you are and him? If you two are having sexual relations more than 2x a week and you didn't know he didn't want it that often, then there is two things wrong. He didn't want to hurt you by telling you that he is not interested in sex more than that and you were not perceptive enough to see he didn't want it. The key is not to have less sex but to open a honest dialog of communications between you two. If you want more sex more than 2x a week and he doesn't maybe you are not sexually compatible but i am sure you two can work this out. Just communicate and you can be so sensitive, if what you hear is not up to your liking. He is wrong for not telling you. Just get over it. Talk to him not us about it. Good Luck
2007-01-23 16:12:26 · answer #2 · answered by NIck N 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow that everything you ever wanted from a man and now he been telling friends that he want to have 2x a week? Can I ask you something how you and him commucate? I am wondering because If i want more than 2x a week and I would go and talk to my wife or suprised her. so suprised him that you want 2 x a week who knows he will be shocked and maybe that will help?
But i wondering about your commucation with eachother??? are any block or opening? ummm, I hope this helps.. I saw your 360 you are very beauitful woman...
Again just suprise him more sex with him and if you both not be able to commucation with. I sure that will helps alot. if not then you need to talk to him about it and solve that asap... most of the time men like give up and divorce and find other woman who can be very sex active. depend on how bad it is.
2007-01-23 16:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well then I think that you should tell him that you found out on here what he wants and discuss this with him. Let him know what you want and go from there. There is nothing wrong with you some people just like sex more or less than others. Relationships are all about compromise.
2007-01-23 16:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by freyja5683 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you. The revelation has made you very self-conscious. And most likely to the point of being embarrassed. This will take time. No quick fix. I would work on finding out why he felt like he couldn't talk to you about it. Sex is supposed to be fun. But only intimate communication will keep it that way.
2007-01-23 16:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by vmmhg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do a psychological trick designed to make him admit it to you, the only relevant person when it comes to your issues: "I'm having this feeling that something's not right about our sex life. Do you feel it too?" Fortunately he will tell you he didn't have such a high sex drive and you will agree on how frequently you will have sex. But you should by all means improve your communication!
2007-01-23 16:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is afull realtionship like you suggest it is honesty and openess is ultimatly what you should be trying for. so maybe he does only want it so often however it was wrong of him to tell everyone such things he should ahve came to you first and told you i dont feel like having sex tonghit hun however i am in no way mad at you i just dont want to have sex tongiht however dsont let it get into a rountine and maybe this is why he suggested only twice a week it wqas getting to much for him and he may not always be horny or wanting sex compromise on what both of you want and tell him what you think of him telling tohers but not you
2007-01-23 16:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by sororitychick_112 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is talk to him about it like saying how about if we try something different, like going to one of those adult movies and get some toys and other stuff that you and him would like. even playing games make it more spicy. men usually get tired of the same thing not the same girl but the same thing that we do in sexual. like the same positions and stuff we like to try different things that come to aur mind but theres also men that are just not comfartable to tell there wifes or girlfriends about it, just to save the argument. you should bring that subject up as like for you to say how about if we try a different thing this time im kind off getting board aff the same thing lets put some spice on the bed..... see how he responds good luck
2007-01-23 16:15:17 · answer #8 · answered by hotrod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 out of 4 of your questions you have complained about your current relationship and in the 4th question you said you were in a happy relationship and that the problem lies w/ another male friend (caught in the middle)... I can't figure you out... Are you happy or do you really have all these problems...
as what to do... tell him you want and to give it you, if he doesn't, then resort to self satisfaction and then he might watch and join
2007-01-23 16:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by I Know 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him straight. And finding something like that out online is really awful too, so sorry. Stop everything til you get the answers you need, you may start to loose respect got him and for yourself.
You are clearly ready for more and he is not. Find someone who is ready and will do what it takes to make you happy.
2007-01-23 16:09:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋