A year ago I moved back in with my mother.First of all,I just turned 30 years old,I have 4 girls ages,9-13,all living with me.I had been living on my own since the age of 17,working and taking care of my children.It all started 2 years ago when I met "Mr. Lewis".I can't tell you how I first got all caught up with him but after a while everything I did revolved around him and I couldn't concentrate on much else.Everything started falling apart,I lost my motivation to keep a job,worrying about him and what he was doing.I couldn't give my girls the time they needed,and soon I lost my house.It's been a year and we still have been involved but I've grown tired of the ups and downs so now I'm ready to get it together,where do I start?HELP!!!
2007-01-23 07:56:45 · 9 answers · asked by missraynell07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Acknowledge that no matter how hard you try, you can't change another person. You'll drive yourself crazy in your efforts. You can change yourself though. It starts with respecting yourself. If the relationship with this Mr. Lewis is driving you crazy, do what's right for yourself (and your girls, who are learning from you) and let him go. He will survive. So will you. Don't worry that this may be your last shot at "love." You'll get through a break up, you'll reflect on the things that went wrong and right, and you will learn about yourself, specifically, what YOU want and don't want in your "ideal relationship," such as, what you believe to be absolutely neccessary and absolutely unallowable. The longer you keep yourself in a rollercoaster relationship, the longer you prevent yourself from facing the truth, healing, learning, and moving on.
2007-01-23 08:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for what you have gone through but life never ends up because of heartbreaks and broken relationships. I am happy bacause you still have the spirit to start afresh. i think its a good idea to move in with your mum if she doesn't mind. The children will have someone close to take care of them while you are out there looking for a job to sustain your family. I am ceratin the kids will never hold a grudge towards you,probably they also saw that you were having a tough time and decided to give you some space. they sound grown up so talk to them and find out how they are feeling about the whole situation.
2007-01-23 08:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by roseylilly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all cut that guy loose because any one who gets involved with you should know that you are a mother and mothers put their children first I don't want to sound mean but I am going to tell you the same thing that I told my little brother who is putting his life back together too firs of all you are a parent and parenting should always come first second I understand that you may have never gotten to be a kid yourself but you have kids and now is not the time for life to be about your own decisions once you find happiness in your life then you will be able to love yourself and you will have more confidence so that the next time you find some one to share your life with you will be able to bring something to the relationship I hope that you still have a job if not then you should have one so you can not only support your girls but so that you are financially able to stand on your own feet instead of being dependant on other people . I am glad that you have family to help you but you also want to set an example for your girls at the same time your girls are looking to you to show them how to be good adults and how to be a good mother remember that you do not want your girls to have to struggle like you are doing and I am sure that you will help your girls if they ever need it . plus what does not break us makes us stronger . so draw on that strength because it sounds to me like you have taken the first step in getting your life back to gether you admitted where you were wrong at . and remember when your girls make mistakes then you can be honest with them and share how your own life has not always been a bed of roses . I hope this helps
2007-01-23 08:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself why you're still with this Lewis guy. After all you have 4 wonderful daughters who really need a role model. And they need a mom who they can be proud of.
So start with getting the guy out of your life. Put a PERMANENT end to the relationship. Then, pray. Whether of not you are religious, it gives you the opportunity to put your thoughts in order. What if you talk with your mom. The fact that she let you move back in with her tells me she's interested in your welfare. You need someone to talk with, and she's a good place to start.
Have faith in yourself. If you do, others will too.
2007-01-23 11:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by garynjanice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose the Lewis girl! WTH?!?! So you'd actually put a mans wants in front of your 4 childrens needs??!! Actually, it sounds like you need some serious therapy! Get your priorities together woman! You are too old to be going through this!!! Leave that loser alone and focus on yourself for a bit ... better yet ... focus on those girls who are probably starving for some attention from their mother!!!
2007-01-23 08:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no man is worth the love of your children. if my man started acting stupid I would kick him to the curb and raise my kids the best way that I could. I have 3 kids I know how hard it is to do it my your self . I need help so I went and got the help I needed until I got on my feet. it has been 10 years and I am raising my kids. so go get the help you need and get things back to the way they were but not with Lewis he sounds like a looser to me.
2007-01-23 08:14:28 · answer #6 · answered by cindy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one, you are on the verge of losing your kids. Are you willing to sacrifice your kids for "Mr. Lewis"? You need to get rid of him NOW! He is doing nothing but bringing you down and soon you will have absolutely nothing. When he is out of your life, you can start bettering yourself and provide for your children. I would take action now for your life before it's too late. Your kids need you and depend on you! So you can start by kicking Mr. Lewis to the curb! Good Luck hon!!
2007-01-23 08:20:00 · answer #7 · answered by PrincessAli'sMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still involved with him, after all you and your children have lost because of him? How can this be? It doesn't matter what your feelings are: get him out of your life!
You have proved that you can take care of yourself, now do it.
2007-01-23 08:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, look into those little girls eyes. Then realize that it is your responsibility to raise them. Get a job to support them and set a goal to get a home of your own. You can do it!!
2007-01-23 08:02:44 · answer #9 · answered by DL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋