I am not comfortable with this relationship. I am very bad at dumping people though, and have had bad experiences in the past w/ guys turning psycho on me. I need to know the right way to do this. He's kind of insane... to give a few examples, a few times he pinned me down in bed and was like "See if you can move - i bet you cant get away... i can do anything i want..." and not in a hot way... in a f'd up way. He also is extremely critical, unpleasant, etc... but he "doesn't understand why girls dump him and he always 'gets his heart broken'" - im like, cuz you're an ******?! So he calls / emails every day and I already told him point blank - the things that bother me. He goes "but isnt that the kind of guy you like" and I said - no not really... and he tried to twist it into this whole thing that I like his behavior...
Anyway... long story short - need to get out, but need to avoid being stalked and/or harassed. i am alone in this city (recently moved) and he knows it.
2007-01-23 07:31:49 · 39 answers · asked by angela 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I were in a situation like that then I would break up with him over the phone, that way he wouldn't be right there in front of me and able to do something if he decided to go in Freak Mode!!
Tell him that you need to concentrate on School or Work or whatever it is that you have going on right now and you just want to be alone! If he tries to go crazy on you then just don't answer the door, phone, emails, text or anything like that. He will eventually find something else to be interested in then it will be her problem.
It seems to me like he has control issues and that you need to get away while you can!
2007-01-23 07:37:59 · answer #1 · answered by TNL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been there... only I ended up getting an easy out- I moved out of state!
You can try just making yourself busy- join a club or volunteer, ask for more hours at work, but whatever you do, don't apologize for it! make yourself more and more unavailable slowly. Have more girls nights out, take the phone off the hook, or tell him you can't check your e-mails every day... just slowly back out of the situation, or you can be passive agressive and do things unatractive that he doesn't like and make him break up with you. Or you can be honest and tell him you're not really into him anymore and that if he changes you might consider giving him another shot. If you are interested in him and would want to be with him if he wasn't so controlling, maybe you can see a counselor together. It really worked for me and my husband. We saw a counselor when we were dating, we really loved eachother and didn't want to break up, but we both needed help working out issues, so we decided to do it together.
About being alone, try to make new friends, there are plenty of activities everywhere, its just getting up the nerve to try it. Build yourself a life that doesn't have anything to do with him, and he might get the hint. Just do what makes you happy and if it gets ugly talk to a counselor or the police. Those situations are really hard. By the way, how long have you been together?
2007-01-23 07:41:38 · answer #2 · answered by JstMe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to the nearest Police station and report the incident on paper, just incase something happens. Something that maybe " Out of His Control", we are loosing enough people in this world due to "it was an accident" or " I didn't mean to do it"
The police also have places to contact for support groups to assist you setting up a home and friends that may be able to meet this person, who knows he's probably well known within the city, if he's that psychotic. If you need to, file a restraining order to keep him so many yards from you, and keep a group buddy clued in on your every move, so that in case anything out of your normal routine will send a warning out to alert your buddy, it may save your life. The young are disappearing faster than the best Law and Order can keep up with. Be safe, tell someone!
2007-01-23 07:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by lyzze 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are correct about having restraining order. Those people who are like, usually have nothing else to do, or they had bad time in there life. and that is not your problem. here what you should do, tell him to look at himself and compare to other males, do they act same as him, because all males i know they have g.f and everything seem to go well with them, but not with you, because you are controller and many people leave u behind, because you don't act for the sake of love, but for the sake of sex. that is not right, people love each other, out of there heart and sex doesn't have to be in there head to love a girl.
So, that way he knows why girls leave him always behind, or heart brake, because he doesn't understand or want to understand what type of male he is. I would tell him that by, email and then, have restraining order against him. Good luck and be careful with him, or anyone else.
2007-01-23 07:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by Alex K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ying's right, NEVER go AGAINST your gut instinct. When your break up with him, make sure you have someone (or some people) with you. Call the cops if necessary, that's if he threatens, or hurts you. Men like this are the reason A LOT of women live in fear. Get away as soon as possible!! You're not alone!!
2007-01-23 07:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by lilfireyballofhate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ASk to meet him in a public place (but private enough to talk) and then just tell him that it's over. If he starts with harassing phone calls, change your number, if he starts coming over to your house all the time, don't answer the door and get a restraining order.
2007-01-23 07:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by chicchick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you first hand that you HAVE to get out. He may just seem controlling now but he will end up being abusive. I know because I have been there. If need be you can go and get a protection order if you break up with him and he wont leave you alone. Do what you have to do but GET OUT! Good luck sweetie and God bless!
2007-01-23 07:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him in a public place like a restaurant. He won't be able to freak out so much, and if he does, someone will probably step in. If he starts harrassing you, go to the police. Get a job, make some friends, and things will be ok.
2007-01-23 07:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey girl !!
listen if he doesn't treat u like this i advise u to leave him !!!!!
listen boy if u wanna keep it 4 u just do these things :
Put your arms around her waist and whisper in her ear
Make her feel wanted every chance you get
Hold her close when she's cold
When you are alone hold her close and kiss her
Kiss her on the tip of her nose
(it will give her the hint that you want to kiss them)
While in the movie, put your arm around her
and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder,
then lean in and tilt her chin and kiss her lightly
When she complains that her neck/ shoulders hurts massage it for her .
When people diss her stand up for her .
Lay down under the stars and out her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart .
Link your fingers together while you whisper to her
as she rests her eyes and listens to you .
2007-01-23 07:39:19 · answer #9 · answered by rosaline 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's over-
Stop calling him-
Stop picking up the phone when he calls-
Don't back down, ever, or the psycho will think he has a chance still with you.-
If he keeps harassing you or getting violent call the police or tell someone about it.
You don't have to put up with it.
2007-01-23 07:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by Curious George 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋