Why is it that my parents treat me differently than my brother? We are only two years apart, I'm 15 and he's 17, but they treat me like I'm still in middle school when he does whatever he wants without any questions asked. but when it comes to me goin out an doin things they are always so skeptical. Also, they demand way more from me than they do from him. Like,they only accept straight A's from me but they let him just slide by with c's in every class. Another thing, why am I the one that has to watch my little bro while he goes out and does whatever the hell he wants? I don't get anything in return for it either. I've confronted my parents about it and they just give me some excuse like "your the responsible one" or "you don't do anything else for us so you can consider this your chore" but that second one makes no since because my other brothers don't do a friggin thing! I mean for god's sake; my older bro never even comes home! Please tell me what I should tell my parents!
2007-01-23 07:23:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
They should Not treat you different to the extent the way you feel..I am sure your parents love you and feel they need to "push" you even more to achieve better grades...etc..the other reason could be, rightly or wrongly, is that you are a girl and parents tend to be more protective of cos you are a girl. furthermore it could also be that the freedom your bro has and you don't could be is you are at an age where you are a wanting to be an adult but not quite there yet.
My advise to you would be to have an "adult" conversation(calm and focused on YOUR worries) with your parents and make them understand that you are responsible , trustworthy and miss your freedom.
\Look at it from your parents point of you...why are the concerned?...their thought? ...and if you can make them understand that you are responsible..i can guarantee you will have everything you desire
GOOD LUCK!! and GOD BLESS!!!!!!
2007-01-23 08:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by Bob P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to start off by saying that the main reason your parents do not let you do half the things your brother does is because you are a girl. I understand that it is unfair to say that because of gender but that's the world we live in, sorry.
However, you will feel that way if you do not look on the bright side. YOU are the responsible one. They trust you and for parents to trust their 15 year old teenager is a big deal. Heck, my father never trusted me at home alone until i was 16 (they allowed me but never trusted me).
Moving along, sit them down, well don't sit them down, but tell them you need to talk to them. Make sure it is just the three of you. Keep your calm throughout the entire conversation and try not to get emotional about any reaction you receive from your parents (I'm not saying you do but just in case).
(By the way, I am basing my help on what you have told me. So if anything was left out, please add them to the details list so i may be able to assist you properly and efficiently.)
Before you ever go in to talk to them, have what you're going to say planned out before you go in. Kind of like preparing a speech, plan it to play it.
Let them know that you feel like they are playing favoritism with the boys. Tell them that your older brother slacks off and "joshes" around, not doing anything productive around the house and makes bad grades. While you do what they say, make good grades and even watch your little brother. Tell them that it's unfair without actually telling them that it is unfair. Explain to them that you understand that you are the responsible one and that you do a lot around the house.
I do not want to take up too much space on this forum, so if you have any questions as to what to say, feel free to email me. Go to my profile to access that option.
I hope I could be of some help to you.
2007-01-23 16:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by nmk9543 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was treated the same way. You'll thank your parents later when you see where your brother is in life and where you go. Your still young and even though everyone is going out drinking or whatever you have soo many years for that. Just focus on having a good family life and getting through high school. I was so mad at my parents that i moved out at 16 years old. I got pregnant and then i got married. Now i'm having my second. I'm only 18. So, take life slow and be soo happy that your parents care about you.
2007-01-23 15:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by iwuvmyhubby 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have 2- older brothers and a older sister and then me and a little brother, My oldest brothers always got to do everything I always had to sit home, I just think that parents keep closer taps on daughters then they do sons... why you might ask.. Because I am 26yr old mom with 3 sons and I know that If I had a daughter she wouldn't leave the house until she was 21... Its because I would not trust men.. nothing against her but some men are pigs and take advantage of girls, I would have to prevent her from getting hurt. Just tell your parents they need to trust in you to do things that your brother does and explain to them,if you make a mistake then your parents have all the right to keep you home..
2007-01-23 15:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by ompie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl I know you are tired of hearing it, but most everyone is right you need to stick it out!! You will be so glad you did. My parents were like that to me but I was the oldest and they thought they could let my younger siblings do whatever because I turned out so good. Wrong they went crazy and are now moochers. I work full time job and have a house and bills and they both still live at home. So when that happens to your brother, and you end up like me, what they say then!!!!
2007-01-23 16:37:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds weird to say this but, be happy they are treating you this way. It means they see you as having a future and they want to see that you stay on track. In addition, you are a girl, so they feel they have more to be concerned about. My dad was the same way to me as a teenager, but my brother got away with murder. Try having a civil discussion with your parents about how this is making you feel (don't do it when you are already angry!) and listen to what they have to say. Maybe you can find a middle ground that will make both you and them happy. Good luck!!
2007-01-23 15:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i wasn treated like that but my sister was!
i think that parents especially dads just absolulety love and adore their precious baby girl.
and from talking to my dad before he died, hes said take care of your sister. and he couldnt stand the idea of my sis doing stuff without him.
but there is an upspot, they trust you more, the seemed to always believe her over me!
but i dont really know if there is anything to say, except theres only 3 years until you leave!! im looking forward to leaving too!!
2007-01-23 15:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by Indio 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had the same problem with my sister, she's 5 yrs older. The answer I go was from my grandmother...she said, "it's because they screwed up once and don't want to do it again." It gave me something to think about.
2007-01-23 15:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by Dales' Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what should you tell your parents? How about "thanks for showing me you care and think so highly of me that I am the one you trust, I am the one you most hope to succeed, etc. etc. Don't read so much in what they are saying, maybe they don't know how to express the obvious high regard (e.g. Love) they have for you. Actions speak louder than words afterall
2007-01-23 16:44:32 · answer #9 · answered by anothersomeonenew 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grow up and stop crying about it!!
2007-01-23 15:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋