Does anyone know how to make a strong willed two yr old thats almost three listen?

Question

She is very smart and headstrong and will be three in a few months. She does exactly the opposite of what I say. I cant even take her to the store. What to do What to do...

Answer 1

You have a spirited child. Welcome to the club. There are books on this subject and parent support groups. Your child will require different methods of discipline than the average child, and imposing your will on her just won't work. But, when you find successful ways of communicating and engaging this child, you will be amazed at her abilites!!
Please educate yourself about "Spirited children" by reading up on the topic. These kids really ARE different and need a different style of parenting. And when she gets into school, you might find she's eligible for the gifted program, if your school offers one.

Answer 2

My Mom (and subsequestly so did I ) always used the count on us-
1) Stop what you are doing ,its not right or its bad behavior etc
2) Last chance to stop before action is done
3) Too late- now your punished-
for us that was immediate leaving the store or area or the taking away of the item or the going home from a friends whatever-and a swat when we were in private. She never punished us in public or made idle threats. If you don't like the idea of swats, then "chair" her in the corner,but don't say no and not mean it, its useless. Tell the child in firm terms WHY you are punishing her and WHY the thing is unsafe, rude or wrong. Then do it- pretty soon all you have to say is "ONE". My mom never had to say why in a store-we knew to stop and that was that. I grew up a secure,responsible adult. So are my kids- now 19 and 12 yrs (grades, jobs, etc) I also ALWAYS make pointed remarks when they do something good and great! That doesn't mean they were perfect- but better than most and not the brats I see so often in public. You want a secure, good, happy child who knows the rules and knows you love her enough to make sure she goes by them. Its worth it for the result! Don't wimp out! Tough love doesn't mean abuse- just a bit of the right kind of attention, and standing your ground. Start by going on short trips too- use it as a "gift" if she is good. Also get something- like a little toy or video etc. Put it up high but where she can see it- if she's good for so long, then she earns it! GOOD LUCK! Parenthood is hard but also very worth it-they are MY gift! She is yours!

Answer 3

First off, I know it may cost some $$, but hire a sitter when you need to shop. My oldest pulled a tantrum when he was 3 in a store. I could have done my shopping when he was at daycare, but I purpously did it when he was home at least once a week. I told him he wasnt allowed to go anywhere but to daycare and home for a month due to his behavior. Which I marked on the calendar for him to see all the time, and showed him when it came time to shop!
Also, if you dont want to do that, try engaging her in the shopping. Let her hold the list. Look for her special snack, and bring a snack to help distract her if needed. They like to help and sometimes that does the trick also.
As to the doing the opposite of what you say.... Time Outs work wonders! And keep putting her in it, and restart the timeout every time she leaves that certain spot. The first few days it will be hell, but stick with it, and it will work out in a matter of a few days!
Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

smart ones are ready for consequences, and you may need to be especially stubborn too! Explain the rules to her (like no screaming, running off..) and include a immediate and no-nonsense consequence which is the same every single time she disobeys. I used to take my son to the store when I didn't need to go there, simply to prove a point to him that I would indeed leave the cart in the aisle and take him home if he acted out. Remember the reward as well, though, like the sticker machine on the way out of the store for the pleasant toddler shopping times.

Answer 5

Oh my the terrible twos. I wonder how our mothers did it. This is what I used to do. I would set limits with her on what behavior I take. I would say in a loud stern voice to quiet down if they didn't I put her in timeout. This was not easy with a two yr old. Or I would take away a favorite toy. It took awhile but she started to catch on. Good Luck and remember patience, patience, patience.

Answer 6

first of all U be as head strong as she is and dont let her over power u. U are the mommy and daddy NOT HER! I would spank her lil but when things got to far to make my point. other wise she can scream her head off when i put her in time off even if i have to hold her there. she will listen to what i say. it may be hard at first but she will get the point.

Answer 7

discipline, discipline, discipline. If she doesn't listen to you, then put her in the corner. Never put her in her room 'cuz that's where her toys are and thats never a punishment. Put her in the corner for 3 min. (a min. per year old.) Then ask her why she was in there. And then keep doing this. She will listen eventually.

Answer 8

she is the boss and she knows it, if you want to have a life you got to get control of this. you can beat her! or starve her! or take away her toys! or make her stand in the corner! or not get her anything! how did it get to this? some people just shouldn't have kids.

Answer 9

it is very hard to "get" any child to do what you want

the object is to get them to want to do things you need to be creative in your thinking and what and how you say things to them, you need to learn the art of re-direction when you want them to stop doing something and when you want them to do something the best way to get cooperation is "the help game" children LOVE to help IE:do you want to help mommy? or can you help me do....

i am confident that you will figure it out good luck

Tom AL USA

Answer 10

Be a parent. Say no and discipline if she doesn't listen.