I wanted to learn chinese so I figured I should get some chinese friends and hang out with them. Finally, I found someone who was willing to help me. The whole time, I was helping her with her English and other homeworks. I was always smsing her asking her if she needed help and I was ALWAYS there for her. She never seemed to have time to teach me chinese though... Only once in a while...
Somehow along the way, I began to have feelings for her. She told me how that she worked 4 days a week and that her family was a wreck. She was the GO TO girl in her family.
She never told me that she had a boyfriend or anything, so one day, I told her that I cared about her and that I wanted to help her even more. That was the last day of school.
She never spoke to me since...
So... She hardly ever took time to teach me chinese, I always helped her with her work. We had good relations (conversations, respect for eachother... etc)
Now... She could care less about me.
WHY?
2007-01-23 06:50:57 · 9 answers · asked by Wuuut? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She thought you were her friend and you scared her off by telling her you had feelings for her. If you wanted to learn chinese from her you should have told her you want to start learning more from her now that you've given so much to her. But if you wanted to learn chinese you shouldn't have tried to move the relationship to the next level. One has nothing to do with the other.
2007-01-23 06:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie, maybe she did use you but it seems like maybe you scared her with telling her that you cared about her. The way she described her family, it seems that she has a lot of pressure on her. When people from messed up families tell people of their problems, they sometimes blurt it out without realizing, when they finally realize what they had said they become ashamed and they get into this "I can't believe I told them" routine and how they start to think that everybody knows their problem and they don't want to bring it up again. So maybe it's not you it's her. Next time you want to learn a language never do it for exchange, do it over the net, they do have free sites where you can learn it. Talk to her again, but don't bring up what she told you, if you really want to help her but talk to her. Good luck sweetie!
2007-01-23 07:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming you realize that in Chinese families it is very disrespectful for their children to date or be intimate with any one outside their culture.I am sure you scared her by letting her know how you felt because she knew she could never be with you if she wished to still be part of her family.
Look, I would have to say you were kinda used but I am not so sure it was intentional on her part.She admitted she had very little time to help you and you offered her your help anytime she needed it.You should have expected more from her when ever you were together.
Don't loose sleep over this,Not much you can do now but go to a hired tutor for lessons and go find a regular girl in your area for dating.Problem solved from there.
2007-01-23 06:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems like you two had a good relationship as friends. Maybe she was simply too busy to help you with chinese?
Either way, maybe you telling her your feelings have scared her off?
Wouldn't be the first time that happened.. : /
2007-01-23 06:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by Chris W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Schools over kid. She doesn't need your help anymore and thus you are insignificant to her.
You sound like a nice guy, but you should learn to judge peoples actions before you get hurt in the end.
2007-01-23 06:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, she used you. She took what she needed and she didn't care about your needs... or your feelings.
Now get over it and move on with your life. It happens to everyone sometime in their lives. Just be more careful next time you start to care, don't be a sap!
2007-01-23 06:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by Hunting Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't exactly say that she used you because you don't even know what exactly might had happened. So, go find out, talk to her or find any ways possible that you can get in touch with her.
2007-01-23 06:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by a9113257311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably htinks tha tyou feel sorry for her and most people don't appreciate it because some can see that as making them feel bad or even " putting them in their place". just explain that thats not what you ment and let her know how you feel. . . again.
2007-01-23 07:07:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u've been hosed
2007-01-23 06:55:47 · answer #9 · answered by the gr8one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋