My parents are alot strict, and i dont know what to tell them. I mean, i have this wonderful girlfriend and we have been together for almost 2 years. I want to purpose to her this summer or near the end of this year, but i dont know what to tell my parents. I was just going to not anouce until i was 17, but i am afraid they will find out from someone else. I am very confused. I know you might not want me to be this young, but i love her so much and nothing is going to seperate us. And if we truly do love each other why wait another year or two. If we are meant to be together, God will supply a way for us. After high school, i was going to move in with her and her mom, b-c the college we want to attend is very close to them. Then after college, we were going to find a place to live on our own. I want to be a pentecostal preacher, so God will find a way if we are meant to be. So my ? is what should i tell my parents!!!
2007-01-23 06:49:40 · 66 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi there is nothing wrong with getting engaged at 17, i got engaged at 16 and i am 20 and getting married this year. You now your own mind and im sure you girlfriend knows hers. I dont see why your parents will mind, but if they are strict then you know how they react. But it is your life and you can do what you want.Purposing isnt like your getting married next week is it. So they will have time to get used to it. There is nothing wrong and if you love someone you shouldnt worry what anyone else thinks and go ahead and do it, and if they dont agree tuff isnt it. Some people are old fashioned or live in the modern world where they think its ok to not get married and i think these people dont know the meaning of true love. So i hope you ahead and purpose and remeber dont listen to noone and its only there opinion and noone elses. You sound like you have got it all planned and even if you dont do the things like get a house or something there is no reason why you can still marry.
What to tell your parents? Well they cant be to strict if they let you even goout with a girl for this long. Just say me and you girlfriends name have been going out together and you really love her and want to ask her to marry you and then give the date you are going to purpose. If might not go as bad as you think it will.
Or just do it between you both purpose to her then tell you parents as there is nothing they can do any way. Unless of course you have to ask her dad for promision first then you may have a problem but if he is a ok guy you should be fine. Good Luck and all the best for you marriage in the furture.
2007-01-23 07:12:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
What you just told all of us on here.
know you might not want me to be this young, but i love her so much and nothing is going to seperate us. And if we truly do love each other why wait another year or two. If we are meant to be together, God will supply a way for us. After high school, i was going to move in with her and her mom, b-c the college we want to attend is very close to them. Then after college, we were going to find a place to live on our own. I want to be a pentecostal preacher, so God will find a way if we are meant to be. So my ? is what should i tell my parents
Tell them all that. Good luck
2007-01-23 08:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, 16 or 17 seems awful young to propose. What the 2 of you have might indeed be the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. If you firmly believe that God means for you to be together, what is the rush?There is nothing wrong with a long engagement. The 2 of you could be engaged for the length of your college career. Marriage is meant for a lifetime & there is nothing wrong with making sure it is THE relatiohship you want to have before you make that lifetime commitment. Also remember that many things change in a young person's life in the years between high school and college. If your love is meant to be, it will survive those years with or without marriage.
2007-01-23 07:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by somegirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two love each other so much and you're going to be together forever, what's another couple of years? You've got your entire life to get married. Why do you need a ring or a piece of paper saying you love each other? You need to figure out your own life before making that kind of commitment. Nobody is telling you that you don't love each other or that you can't be together. Just give it some time. Tell your parents, her parents, and your girlfriend that you plan on marrying her WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. Plus, it's really hard trying to juggle school, work, a place to live, parents, and planning a wedding. When the two of you can support yourselves (not living with her parents) you will be ready to get married.
2007-01-23 07:10:31 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well to begin he wasn't asking what your opinion on him getting married was.He asked what to tell his parents.To tell him he is too young is not your decision to make.I was 17 when I was married and we have now been married for 4 years.It can work.Yes you grow a lot but everyone does through out there entire life.It is not just people that were married young that get divorced.You have to learn to grow with the person you are married to and accept how they change and there differences.If you truly love someone no matter what age you are when you are married if you can do those things then you can make it through.As for the answer to what should you tell your parents: just be honest.They will take it a lot better coming from you then someone else.They make not agree and like your decision but if you are willing to come to them and tell them that will show you are a lot more mature then they think.And maturity is a big key in marriage.If you cant tell your parents then I am sorry I have to say no your not old enough to be married.If you can be mature enough to tell them and sit down and have a discussion without getting mad and running out of the room that will say a lot to them about you and your decision.
2007-01-23 07:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by spoiledgal85 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had to laugh because when I was 17, I thought I was going to marry my boyfriend at the time and we said that we were engaged. Now that I look back at the last 11 years, I realize how much I've changed and how stupid it would have been to marry that guy. Anyway my point is to hold off on an actual engagement because you may find that your life will take you down roads you never imagined and this girl, although I am sure she is wonderful, may not be included in the final picture.
If you want to show your commitment to her, give her a promise ring first. Your parents will probably be more open to that and when the time is right, your relationship will naturally progress into an engagement. There is no rush. You have a whole life a head of you and a whole lot of changing to do.
Trust me.
2007-01-23 07:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by CAITLIN 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
set the facts down straight as you see it, and hope that they can accept that.
However, be aware that young people change an awful lot as you get older. This could change your relationship from the way it is now. Perhaps this is something to think about. It might be best to have a long engagement, as opposed to getting married straight away. Your parents may find it easier to accept this option, instead of suggesting that you get married straight away.
After all, you've already been together for two years - andother two or three before you get married won't make a difference, except you'll be in a more secure postion.
It's your choice after all, but I hope that you're happy whatever choice you make
2007-01-23 06:59:09 · answer #7 · answered by Natalie B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also young and engaged, but I am in college. Before proposing, you both need to be out of high school. I was with my boyfriend my junior and senior year, always talked about getting married, but he did wait almost 4 years beforing proposing to me. I want to warn you that from the ages of 16-21 you WILL and she WILL change so much. Those are the years that you find your self identity (you need to look that up and under stand it). Right now y'all are just high school kids in love (which you probably are...I don't doubt you).
I want to ask why you think it is so necessary to get married right away? Are you afraid to be alone? Afraid y'all will split apart? If you truly ARE meant to be together....why not wait until you both are at least 21. Marriage is just a contract....keep what you have now and wait it out. Please though...wait a while because it is CRUCIAL that you both figure out who you truly are WITHOUT the presence of one another.
Go to about.com and type in young marriage and read some stuff. Really do it....I read it and learned a lot. There is WAYYYYY more to marriage than just love. You both must agree how to handle financial situations, sex, you both need to agree on a parenting philosophy, you also both need to decide who is going to work and who will do certain household chores like cook, clean, mow the lawn and stuff.
Do you really want to be married and have the shame of living with parents??? You both need to go to college...even away to college and live in seperate dorms in seperate cities. After that, if y'all can keep a long distance relationship strong, then get married. Not now.
I do hope you listened to me because I am only 20 and I will be 21 or 22 before I get married. I know that marriage sounds so good to you now, but if y'all are in love...wait a couple years...what will it hurt? It will hurt nothing, no one, and you won't have shame if anything goes wrong.
2007-01-23 08:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So you are wanting to get married yet you can't even spell properly? And what's with this God nonsense? You are old enough to make your own decisions without asking your parents permission or relying on a fantasy being to help you. Marriage is a big step and you should really consider how your lives will be if you marry. Lots of people are in love for years but as soon as they marry it all goes wrong and divorce is very messy. I mean, do you, at 17, really want to have to be home to a wife every night when your friends will be out enjoying themselves? And the same applies to your girlfriend when she sees her friends enjoying themselves and she can't. Think about it between the both of you. Marriage will still be available even if you wait 10 years! Whatever you decide I wish the both of you well. ps. sort that spelling out lol!
2007-01-23 07:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by Martin R 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Learn how to spell propose then pop the question. Besides proposing that young put spressure on her to take on the "wife" role and she is not ready for that. Also she will not get the opportunity to really finish high school or college if she is your wife. You are very young and don't quite understand the social maturity and growth that takes place during those years. I would recomend you take a smaller step and ask her to commit to you, like making a promise you will both tie the knot when you are older and wiser. Don't be one of those men who sells himself to the first woman who "loves him" or has sex with, or that pays him mind. I know 2 people, both male, who proposed early. One to the first girl he slept with, now she can't stand him and he regrets marrying her. The other proposed right after high school and they got pregnant right away. She never really got to finish school because of the kids and resented the husband for even asking when they were young. They are divorced now.
Be smart about asking, let her know that there is no pressure and she oes not have to answer right away.
2007-01-23 08:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by RoadRunner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋