Viewpoint on Gift Giving?

Question

Is it really the thought (and nothing more) that counts?

I started thinking about this topic when I started receiving several unwanted gift magazine subscriptions in the mail. I mean, sure, the thought was nice and is appreciated but now I'm stuck getting these magazines that I have no desire for, for the next year. I wondered if I should just be grateful for the thought they put into it even though it's inconveniencing me. Then I wondered if I should be ticked because they didn't even ask if I'd be interested in the kinds of magazines they picked out for me - they just assumed and ordered, which leaves me feeling frustrated that they didn't even care ENOUGH to ask.

So...I wonder which is appropriate: Giving someone a gift that YOU would like for them (even if you don't know they'll like it)? Or getting a gift based on thier interests and/or needs (even if YOU wouldn't necessarily like it as a gift for yourself)? I say the second one is the appropriate one. What do you think?

For example, you have a good friend named Suzie. Suzie LOVES anything to do with cats (stuffed animal cats, cat figurines, cat decorations, etc). Now you, on the other hand, aren't a big cat person and don't really understand the fascination that Suzie has with them. But her birthday is coming up and you'd like to get her a gift.

Would you:

1. Think to yourself, "Suzie and her darn cats! She has way too many cat things anyway! What she really could use is a new sweater.", and buy the sweater as a gift?

OR

2. Think to yourself, "Although I don't understand the cat thing with Suzie and she already has a lot of cat stuff, I know that she'd love and appreciate that new cat cookie jar on the shelf over there. I'll buy it because it's something I know she'll enjoy.", and buy the cat cookie jar as a gift?

What are your thoughts?

For the record, I am very appreciative of the THOUGHT behind the gifts that were given and I would never NOT say thank you.

I was just wondering about other people's perspective on the subject, so I'd appreciate it if answerers would refrain from judging me about the unwanted magazine subscriptions and just stick to the question. Thanks much.

Answer 1

A gift that does not suit the giftee is more than likely one that was given out of obligation moreso than given with love and caring thought behind it.

I would call and cancel the subscription. No sense in filling up your mailbox with that junk. They may even be able to switch the subscription to another magazine you'll care more for.

Answer 2

it is the thought that counts, which means it's ok to be annoyed if they didn't think. It is much better to get the gift for them that they would like, and also that you would like them to have. It doesn't matter if you don't like a gift you're giving personally, since you're not going to be the one using it. But. . . it's ok to gravitate towards things you also think are nice. I mean what if you're wrong, and give them something that they don't like, after all, and it comes out that you don't like it either? It's hard to judge a gift for someone else if you've no clue about what you're giving.

if you've got a friend, say, who likes classical literature, and you don't, it's better to give them a gift certificate to a bookstore, or a book that fits their interests that you also thought was good, rather than guessing and giving them a book that nobody likes, like SIlas Marner, because "well you like old stuff."

Chances are your friends thought you'd like the magazines they picked out for you for SOME reason. Theyre just got good at guaging what pertains to you. (I'm an artist and I get given children's art supplies all the time because some of my friends and relatives just don't know the ins and outs of these things.) Obviously they wouldn't have spent the money just to inconvenience you. So, I'd find some way of sharing your interests in the future. And then I'd donate the magazines.

Answer 3

I don't recieve gifts very often but when i do get one if i don't like it i always say thank you and even tho i don't like the gift i always cherish it because i know someone has taken the time to think about me and out of all the gift that i have been given it is always the ones i don't like that seem to have lasted over the years but i love the memories and the story each one tells so when you look at that unwanted gift just think someone cared enough to try

Answer 4

I definitely think that it's the thought that counts - and that the thought that should be put into getting a gift is what the other person truly likes. So if Susie ADORES cats, but you hate them - and you see a kitty cookie jar and don't think it looks just absolutely atrocious - pick it up if Christmas or a birthday is just around the corner. Susie would probably love it.

Giving someone a gift YOU would like for them is just selfish.

Answer 5

When I give gifts to people, I make sure to get something they are interested in. However, I would never complain about receiving any gift from anyone. I don't care if the magazines do pile high up. You should understand that you can always donate them to any doctor's office or throw them away. No one is making you keep them for when the person who sent them visits. So, why complain about the inconvienence of something? You should feel happy that anyone sent you anything at all. Gifts are just that. Something nice that someone thought of to give you. If you don't like the gift, politely keep your mouth shut and find other uses for it. Thank you.

Answer 6

I have taught my children from day one to thank someone for a gift no matter what. If they don't like it too bad. If they already have one, too bad. It would be terribly offensive to complain about gift giving. I feel it would be a much bigger no no than the act of buying an unwanted gift. You could tactfully tell gift givers what your interests might be ahead of time next time. You could also suggest some kind of donation on your behalf instead of a gift. Be glad you have people who take the time to get you a gift, not all people are as lucky.

Answer 7

Its always better to buy a gift which you believe the recipient would like but that isn't always as easy as you might think. For example, I have a friend who loves to embroider but I wouldn't even think of buying her a kit to do since taste is a very personal thing. I hate to say it, but I love getting gift certificates. I have the fun of shopping for something I need or want.

Every once in a while I've seen an item that is just perfect for someone & I'll buy it but that doesn't happen very often.

Gift givers mean well. They want to please you but some people aren't as imagnitive or as thoughtful as others. So for those, its the thought that counts.

Answer 8

I think that gift giving essentially comes from the heart and that if you know a person you will then discover the right gift to give to them. Giving someone a gift means to me that you are being considerate of their feelings and showing actual concern for what it is that they want or need. When you are preparing to give a gift i think it is important to put aside your own feelings in order to make someone else feel good about themselves.

Answer 9

Getting a gift based on my interets. If at all possible you should consider donating some magazines to the library or even ro a neighbor with children. Most kids have to cut magazine articles. Just a thought.
Nice perspective question

Answer 10

Always give something the receiver likes, not what you like.