ok i got a confession to make, i really dont enjoy it when my bf goes down on me. hes really trying to give me pleasure, but it just doesnt feel good. i mean i can never have a big "O" from that. i know its probably my fault, i dont know.
yesterday he spent almost 20 minutes there and nothing happened. after a while i just loose interest in it. i find myself praying for him to stop. i feel so bad, i mean i dont wanna tell him to stop doing it then he might get mad.
what should i do?
2007-01-23 06:13:56 · 56 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
trade places with him
2007-01-23 06:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Go to a sex shop and have the clerk help you pick out a really good vibrator - try a Jack Rabbit or something in that vein - or go online and have it delivered if you're too shy. When he's not around, use it to figure out what works for you. Take lots of time and do it as often as possible. Don't forget to pick up some quality water-based lube to speed things along.
Then, once you are confident that you know what it takes to produce an orgasm, ask him to go down on you again, and don't be shy about telling him what you need - if he loves you he will want to make sure he's making you feel good. Just be gentle in your directions and don't say he's doing something wrong or else it will be a tense event for you both.
If just going down on you still isn't working, invite him to watch you masterbate with your new toy so he can observe your technique. Offer to let him use it on you. Sometimes being penetrated with a vibrator during cunnilingus is just the right combination, and one you may never have tried before.
Another thought is whether or not you really feel comfortable with him. Are you worried about the state of your relationship? Or that he doesn't like the way you taste? Talk about these issues with him and once you feel completely comfortable and that you trust him you'll be able to relax more.
Or consider a new position: have him lie on his back and straddle his head. Then you can control how hard or lightly he licks you and where exactly his tongue hits, and you might finally be able to reach orgasm.
Be adventurous and be patient and you will get there!
2007-01-23 06:26:16 · answer #2 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oral sex, like any other sexual practice, is a matter of personal taste (no pun intended), practice, and getting over the stigma forced onto you by the conditioning you have undergone. Subconsciously, you probably feel it is not a sexual practice that falls within the bounds of your moral make-up. It is something that will become more pleasurable as you practice more and learn about the mechanical aspects of it. The big 'O', as you call it, can be reached through a wide array of stimuli. Continue experimenting until you reach perfection!
2007-01-23 06:22:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very touchy subject and you should aproch with caution.
I would just sit him down and let him go down on you and you tell him what you like, Odds are he is not hitting the right places for you, MAKE SURE TO TELL HIM HE IS NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG, it's just that your body is different that any other girl ( If he has done it to others) And tell him what feels good and what does Nothing for you.
This really should help. And if he is trying to give you the BIG O and he cant also tell him not his fault you just need to get more comfortable with it.
2007-01-23 06:19:30 · answer #4 · answered by remailer000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most times this isn't really a matter of you not liking it as much as you maybe not exploring a little more with him to find "how" you like it best.After all, anyone can go down there and just swirl around and possibly do it too hard or too soft or maybe just not the right area.You must first know yourself what works best for you from when you "take care of things" for yourself.I suggest you do a little more of that.Some women are more into a little higher or a little lower when it comes to that.
2007-01-23 06:22:09 · answer #5 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say "Oh baby, I can't wait to feel you inside of me" and wriggle into position for that...or say, "oh baby, let me do some of that..." and start in on him...he'll completely forget everything else if you are any good at it.
Next time he does it, and gets even close to the right place, make sure it's clear that you like it. If it's too direct, too light or whatever may be, don't be afraid to say it right then, and if it gets better, make that clear too. Men aren't mind readers. They need hints and direction. Just be sexy and sweet with him.
If that doesn't work, then next time he makes a comment about it...(NOT in bed) then just casually say, "oh, that doesn't do that much for me, but I LOVE it when you..." And show him. That makes it painless, and memorable.
BUT I do believe sex is best when you are married!! It's not meant to be casual! It bonds you like superglue, whether you realize it or not.
2007-01-23 06:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by Loring 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that oral doesn't work for you. But say it in a nice way - tell him you want to try other stuff, like him trying to find your G Spot with his fingers or him rubbing your clit with his hands. Better yet, before you even have that conversation, explore your body and find out exactly what will make you have an orgasm - this way, when it comes time to ask him to do something different, you'll know EXACTLY what you need your man to do for you.
2007-01-23 06:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First it is not anybodies fault. It just is.
Tell him you do not like oral stimulation, that if he needs to do it for his pleasure that is fine but it does not do anything for you.
Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, even when you have to say something that might hurt someones ego.
2007-01-23 06:23:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he enjoys doing it. Maybe you need to try doing it in a different position. Like maybe 69, or if you always do it laying on your back try kneeling etc. You didn't say but give you enjoy doing it to him I'm sure he wouldn't mind that.
If you've tried everything maybe its time to just talk up. Just tell hime nicely you don't enjoy it. Make sure he knows he's not doing it wrong(make sure thats true) but its not your thing. Like everything else it doesn't work for everyone.
2007-01-23 06:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by ayanagin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really like it, either... but my b/f likes to do it, so I let him for a while, but then I tell him I'm ready to have sex and he stops and does.... other things... :)
A lot of people on here are saying he's not doing it right, but that's not the problem with me... I just feel really gross when he does it... you probably just don't like it even if he's great at it. It happens people!
2007-01-23 06:22:03 · answer #10 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe the problem is with the bf...is this the first bf or one of the many few bfs uve been with that cant give u an orgasm when he goes down on u? if uve never had this problem bfore...then its definitely him...however if u just NEVER could orgasm from oral sex....then thats just fine....its not exactly a "problem"....ur just different....many women cant orgasm thru normal intercourse....many women cant orgasm thru oral sex....and some women can ONLY orgasm with vibrators....different women prefer different things, and if u dont find oral sex pleasurable just tell ur bf, if he loves u he'll be okay with it there are plenty of other ways to achieve an orgasm, not just thru oral sex!
2007-01-23 06:21:24 · answer #11 · answered by toni s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋