Well firstly i'm 15, i dont get on with my parents so for like 3 years i've just hung out in town and stayed over at mates! Theres this guy he is 22 (7 years older) he has sort of looked after me and i thought of him as a brother till now! I think he is gourgous-like my dream guy and he's tough- but last summer he got really drunk and told me that he love me at a party and that if i'm sick of my folks i should live with him! I confrunted him about if but he just disappeared for 2 months while he stayed with friends he never called any1 while he was away then came back and acted like everything was noraml!! He keeps asking me to meet up with him! But i don't know what to do he says " he's seen me grow up into his ideal women and he doesnt want to lose me" I think he is being genuine and he has talked to alot of people about it but he smoke to much weed and is alot older! What should i do! Should i met him on saturday or stay clear!?? Please help!
2007-01-23 05:44:41 · 32 answers · asked by Lil Sofi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no don't do it your too young
2007-01-23 05:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by hehehe you 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, there is his drug use. By your own admission, this man smokes too much weed - and any weed at all is too much. His decision-making is skewed by his intoxication, and what he says and does while high may have nothing to do with reality. Thus, you can't be sure how he really feels about you and where his boundaries lie.
I don't know what the laws are where you are, but do not get involved with this man if it is illegal. If you care about him, you do not want him going to jail over you. Also, his use of illegal drugs makes you culpable if you know he has them and you two are caught together - and you don't want to wind up in prison.
Finally, seven years is an age gap that is more and less important at different stages of life: a 50 year old dating a 57 year old does not even merit remarking, but a 15 year old has little in common with a 22 year old. Either he is painfully immature or just looking for a sexual escapade with a much younger girl. You deserve to find an equal, a peer, someone you can relate to on every level, and this man has had a lot more life experience than you have. If he really feels that you are the "perfect woman" then he will be willing to wait until you are older to pursue a realtionship, if he means that relaitonship to be meaningful at all.
2007-01-23 05:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats wrong with staying just friends? Anything sexual between he and you would be illegal and no disrespect to you but what would a 22 year old man see in a 15 year old child.
You have plenty of time to grow into a young woman and have relationships and all they entail. If you are that desperate to have a boyfriend I would say find someone your own age, you really dont need anyone that much older that is into drugs in the way that this guy is.
You will be an adult soon enough enjoy your teens while you can.
2007-01-23 05:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by Denise H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um... ok... i don't know where to start really.
First of all what you are discussing here is probably to complicated for you right now. I mean if he wants a relationship with you that badly then he can wait a few years for you to finish maturing. The thing is that the person that you are today is not going to be the same person that you are 3 years from now.
I would say that you should stay away - or tell him that he should wait for you till you are ready. If all he wants to do is go out you are still to young yet.
You should not be in such a hurry to grow up and it sounds to me like he is looking to take advantage of the fact that you need a place to stay. So do yourself a favor and stay out of a relationship with this guy for the time being at least. If he really loves you then he will understand your need to wait for a while.
Good luck.
2007-01-23 05:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has seen you grow up into his ideal woman? YOU ARE 15!!!!! You are not a woman and if a 22 year old man is messing with you, then it is illegal and wrong! Not only is he too old for you at your age, but he smokes weed? Where do you find these people?
Honey, leave him alone.....steer clear....whatever you want to call it. Enjoy your young years before you wreck your life over some older bum who spends too much time drugged up.....I mean come on, what kind of future does he offer you?
Just wait a few more years and you can meet mature young men who actually have something to offer.
2007-01-23 05:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by CPA2B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are at an age when you are growing into an adult and wanting your own independence, hence, life with your parents may be tough, although believe me they probably have your best interests at heart and in a few years your relationship may change.
This guy is much older than you and will have different expectations. It may seem like a way out of your troubles to run off with him, although I suspect your troubles will escalate. Stay put and be thankful to have him as a friend and that you still have both of your parents alive and willing to look after you.
p.s. Please steer clear of the weed - it is a downward spiral from there.
2007-01-23 05:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by SheRah35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a parent of 3 grown children, you won't like my answer, but I hope you will read it and know that what I'm saying is from experience and no reflection on you.
No one under 16 should date anyone over 18.
No one between 16 & 18 should date anyone over 19.
This is not a matter of the teenager's maturity, it is a matter of safety. You have not been around long enough to know how to spot a child molester. You may feel like this 22 year old man knows you. He does! He knows how to manuplate young girls. He knows how to get your trust. It wouldn't be long before you would end up another missing child. You might end up dead.
Is your life worth seeing this man or would you be better off finding a friend your age?
Don't bet your life on it, please.
2007-01-23 05:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by c.s. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When your 22, will you be eying up 15 year old kids. This guy should be in a PRISON cell where he'd be a girlfriend for all the other scum. Pedo-child abusing filth like him need castrating. Do you really think he's normal. By the way, all 15 year old kids hate their parents, because they don't let you smoke, drink, have sex and all the other things little girls think they r old enough to do. When youv'e got kids, you'll understand.
2007-01-23 08:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a word for adult men who ask out 15 year olds - pedaphiles. When he says "You're growing into the ideal woman" what he's really saying is "You're young so I feel I can dominate you and force you to be what I want". Don't fall into that trap.
If you're 15 and getting attention like that you need a safer place to live. If living with your parents is so bad you should try and Aunt or Uncle or something but you really need to be living with a SAFE adult - not one that's trying to get you in bed.
2007-01-23 05:51:39 · answer #9 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay clear. And no disrespect, but you're just a young woman who's still coming into her own. You're not ready for that type of age gap yet, trust me. He needs to find someone his own age. Also, these are traits you need to look at now, he disappears and he doesn't communicate with you at all. So who is to say that he doesn't use this same technique anywhere else in his life? Just enjoy life and take it slow, you're not missing much, just stay clear of the emotional highway.
2007-01-23 05:51:28 · answer #10 · answered by ksfinney17 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He'd be breaking the law if he did anything sexual with you, just so you know that.
He sounds like he's feeding you a lot of lines and he may be immature, but I don't understand why someone his age is asking out someone your age. It's pretty inappropriate. Don't disobey your parents and certainly don't move in with him. He sounds very unstable (drinking and drugs are not good and both illegal for YOU) and confused, so I'd recommend hanging out with people your own age. Tell him when you're 18, you'll consider being more than friends with him, but right now it's not a good idea.
2007-01-23 05:51:33 · answer #11 · answered by JJ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋