I need to get over my boyfriend!!!Please help!!!!!!!!?

Question

Iv been with him for 3yrs and we split up 2wks ago. I thought we would get back together but its for good and I don't know how to get over him!

Answer 1

1. Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not all your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and one discordant person is enough to have it break up.
2. Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt and feel alone and feel like you have messed up. But you have to know that you are a good person and this is not all one-sided.
3. Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, take a complete break from each other immediately after the breakup. That means no seeing each other, no phone calls, no e-mails, no IMing, and most importantly, no sex- not necessarily as a permanent measure (except where sex is concerned), but until you feel that you can converse with him/her like a normal person, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive).
4. Think through everything in your head. Maybe even try to ask yourself what went wrong. But you also have to think of why you two broke up. There had to have been a reason for it all to end, right? If there was a reason but it wasn't a good one, then this person isn't worth your time.
5. Deal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the "split" was. You may even feel like you hate yourself, but get out of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart for no reason.
6. Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too and that you don't need this sort of pain.
7. Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems. Most of all, be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring out your thoughts onto paper. Patterns may become clearer and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" what you're supposed to be learning from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.
8. Keep fond memories. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. Well, instead of feeling that way, try to think of how happy that memory used to make you, and leave it at that.
9. Don't overreact. You may be feeling lonely, and want to be with someone, but don't go back to your ex unless you really believe you should be together. Likewise, don't jump into another relationship as a rebound, just to make yourself feel better. It's not fair to the other person, and will eventually lead to another breakup.
10. Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that there's more to life than being in a relationship. Indulge in those things. As they say, the best revenge is living well.
11. Let go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and having hatred toward that person. Realize that although your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways, all good things must come to an end. And when they do, that's when you see all the flaws in your relationship and that it's best that you aren't together.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

You know, I'm going through something similiar. Trust me, jumping into the sack with someone else to fill the void will not do it. It will only create feelings of regret and you'll miss him even more because this new person just isn't him.

Alone time is more valuable than many think. Try to remain firm in your decision and spend some time alone to actually consider what it is that you are looking for in a partner. Filling voids simply will not suffice.

Lean on your friends. Let them support you through this. If they will listen, talk - and talk - and talk. And don't be afraid to cry - often. It's normal. Process this relationship and everything that happend - and then "poop" it all out! Rid yourself of the past.

Compose a list of good qualities and bad. Of things you enjoyed and didn't about this person. If you find that the negative out weigh the postive - chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.

Don't expect to shake your emotions for him so quickly. It takes a long time to fall in love - and just as long to fall out. Don't set your expectations for getting over him so high. It may take weeks. Expect it. Maybe the shift in perspective is all it will take.

Answer 4

OK, take a deep breath.

Now, 3 years is a long time - here's what I'd recommend. In any long term relationship we learn to make compromises to make the relationship work more smoothly. After 3 years you might have forgotten what those compromises were. Try to remember something you liked but gave up to make the relationship work - then go do it.

For instance, my husband hates city life and will do anything to be as far into the country as possible. I love city life so the compromise is we live in the suburbs. If we ever split I would move right into the heart of the city and enjoy museums, theater and nightclubs every weekend - that would cheer me up. Surely there's something you haven't done in a long time that you miss?

So, reconnect to who you really are without him and you're bound to feel better. Once you're back to your old self you might even meet someone that will fit into your life better than the old boyfriend.

Answer 5

Its going to take time. I would suggest that you hang out with friends and have a good time. I know its hard to do when all you can think of is what the two of you did together and where you went so forth and so on, but there is no fast fix for this. I would suggest that you not try and jump into a new relationship for at least a year though because it more than likely will not work out, and the other person will end up getting hurt.

Answer 6

It's only two weeks- give yourself time. In the meantime take this chance to stock up on chick flicks, ice cream and chocolate. That way when you're over him, you'll have a good reason to get to gym and check out the talent!

Answer 7

i was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years.. and we split up in october... it was real real hard!! i couldnt sleep in my room because their were too many memories of us. i didnt eat for 3 days, nor did i drink ne thing for 3 days. I dindt do ne thing for a long time!! then i went ahead and moved on with the guy that i dated before him (the one who took my virginity). and now we live together, and i am happy as could be! it was hard at first.... now im planning on getting married at the end of next year, and were soon hopeing for a baby!! GL and i hope everyithing workd out for you! :)

Try to advoid him. and dont think of what hes doing all the time, that'll only make things worse. when you see him just think of how shitty he is, adn that'll make you feel better.

Answer 8

First of all, that guy that just answered is a TOTAL perv! and to answer your question think about the ups and downs! i mean me and my ex broke up 3 times and i thought that the last time we would just get back together but i was goin outta my mind and i was crazy for him! but if u think about it the only reason u want him so bad is because you cant have him! just think of it that way and then things wont go away but they'll be better! best of luck- shelbie

Answer 9

Jump on someone else quick. He's so over you....what do you think about that? You're a hottie, find some other interest and have some fun.

Okay, since you gave me a thumbs down, why don't you just sit around in your room and cry until he comes back. Maybe he'll come get your sorry *** after he's screwed all the other hott chicks. You're a loser and don't deserve any better, you hoe.

Answer 10

Take the high road and resist the natural temptation to get over on him. The best satisfaction you will receive is by moving on and doing well.