okay my dad adopted me when i was 5 and ya know my biological father is well........... we don't know where he is! lol and i mean in a way i want to find him just so that i have a sense of closure i guess! and my adopted father is totally agianst this idea and i mean he is only 28 and i am 14! so i just i don't want him to disown me or anything but yet i don't want to be lost my whole life wondering what "he" was like! and he abused my mother so i don't want to hurt her feelings in the process so i just don't know what am i suppose to do about this!? help me plz and i will be forever greatful! love shelbie
2007-01-23 05:21:26 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
dear i know what u feel and how hard it is, u just remind me of my best friend that killed her father when she is young and she have just her photos... so look at me, what is your aim in this processs, in this proces maybe u deny your adopted parents, i am with u that u want to know your root, but first ask your new parents maybe they will be in this idea and will support u.. so live your life, and don't worry for past your real father still loves u but the new parents care about u also dear, feel in there love and for the care, they helped u in the life...
so don't search so much, because if u see your real father u will not come back to your new one so it's dangerous for your life and everything..
so just ask God to help u dear.
2007-01-23 05:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest holding off until you are an adult. It will probably take alot of inner strength to deal with the potential fallout of talking to your adoptive dad and your mom about finding your biological father. You also don't know how it will turn out if you do find him. If he really was an abusive guy he probably hasn't changed a whole lot and you might find yourself very disappointed. I do think though you have a right to know his identity and have that option to find him when you are truly ready...
2007-01-23 13:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your adoptive father is probably feeling very hurt that you want to know your real dad. That's a normal feeling. And your wanting to know, is also normal. But for now (since you're unable to do anything about it) why not simply put it in the back of your mind for future. When you're older and independent, and able to do a search on your own, then do so.
2007-01-23 13:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father probably doesn't like the idea because your biological father could probably hurt you I have never met my father and I am adopted to and I think as you get more older you get more curious but that could lead into dangerous situations and if you know were your father lived or knew people who knew him I would start there.
2007-01-23 13:29:27 · answer #4 · answered by scottsmith20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural that you want to find out who your birth family is, but make sure you talk to your dad first. This may hurt him a bit. However, he probably has the adoption forms, and it will make it easier to find your family. Good luck!
2007-01-23 14:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should wait until you are a lot older to find your father. what I mean is a lot more mature so you could know how to handle it better. Do not be in such a rush, your mother, and father must know something about him that they are ready to talk to you about.
2007-01-23 13:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not wait a few more years until you are 18 and can do all of the research on your own without anyone knowing or getting hurt by it.
2007-01-23 13:25:53 · answer #7 · answered by boredperv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you are older, then if you still have the desire to "meet" your dad, pursue it then. You should respect the wishes of the man that adopted you , (at this time) Good luck.
2007-01-23 13:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by NAN G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation not to long ago. my mom and dad split when i was 5 and she remarried when i was six i wanted to meet my dad abd she said when the time was right. he never tried to find me, my half sister (his daughter) found me through a private detective. i just met my real dad 4 years ago. i am 21 and it was not worth it. i learned he was a deadbeat who used to make my mom do bad things. now i know, but what i'm trying to say is that maybe he doesn't want you to meet him for a good reason. i learned my lesson. if you need to contact me and we can talk more, i know what your going through. good luck!!!
2007-01-23 13:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by suzukigirl06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest let your mom and adoptive father know that you only want answers ...
2007-01-23 13:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋