I have a 1yr old daughter her dad and i are not together we broke up b4 i found out i was pregnant.through my pregnancy he wouldn't talk to me he never told his parents til after she was born he never seen her til she was 5 months old. Well his mom invited us to their house for a week and the whole week we were there she told me how i couldn't keep a man and that i had no respect for my body because i had a baby with a man i wasn't married to. She is always telling me how i need to make sure her son gets to see the baby. I try telling her that i offer to take her to see him but he always makes a lame excuse she says that since he is paying childsupport that it is my responisbility to do so. She tells me i never do anything on my own, and how i need to get off my *** and get a job. she makes me feel like crap. i've supported my daughter with no help.i was disabled shortly after she was born so i couldn't work. now everytime she calls now i don't answer am i being childish?
2007-01-23 05:04:57 · 22 answers · asked by ♥ Ash ♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you are not being childish! And you did not make this baby by yourself. So tell her that one! Maybe her son is not such a great man because he made a baby without being married and then maybe you should tell her to mind her own F&8\*^% business. You do not need to be bashed by her, its your life and this is what happend in "your" life with "her" son.
But, be a good mother. Allow him to see her, as I am sure you will. Children need both parents in their life. They need a little bit of both of your experiences to become adjusted adults. Also, at some point and time or maybe when the baby is a little older, start focusing on yourself. Get a job or work on a career, give your child a sense of seeing her mom empowered and this will give her the sense and encouragement to better herself through education and a career when she gets older. And most importantly, do not talk bab about her father to her when she gets older, it ends up biting you in the a*&.
Just keep her away from his mother without being present and when she starts with you, tell her kindly and maturely, that you have everything under control and her accusations hurt you and will eventually hurt your daughter. Plead to her sense of motherhood or grandmotherhood and explain that when she says bad things to you, it will eventually effect her grandchild and that does not make a good grandmother.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-23 05:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by megabites42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the only thing the father's mother have in mind....................is the best interest of her son and not her granddaughter.
If she truly gave a damn about her granddaughter.....She would not be concerned about her son paying child support. She would be more interested in spending time with her grandchild.
Don't let her treat you like some brazzin hussy.
Stand your ground and tell her to mind her own business.
What you need is some encouragement and a good father for your daughter.
However....Wonderful children come from single and/or dis-functional families too.
So prove his mother wrong....Better yourself.
Go after that career you always wanted and provide for your daughter on your own(if you have to) and raise your daughter to be the next president of the Unites States.
2007-01-23 05:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by I LUV DS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being childish. You ahve the best interest at hand for you child. She is one of those people that you have to stand up to. Tell her that just because he is taking care of his responsibilities of paying child support does not mean it's your responsibility to teach him how to be a good father. If he wants to see his child he is an adult (or atleast he made adult decisions) and he doesn't need someone to hold his hand to do it. And for his mother she has issues. Just because it's her son she wants to think he can do no wrong, which I think all parents can be like that, but she needs to understand that her son also had a child without being married. She is making it seem like it's all your fault and I'm sorry but you can't get pregnant by having sex with yourself. I'm sorry that you have to deal with people who don't want to accept what really happened. Good luck, keep me posted.
Hope
2007-01-23 05:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no responsibilities towards the mother of your daughter's dad. It's she that should be trying to help you or leaving you alone.
Since your ex seems like such a dead-beat, you have all the work of caring for your little one. It's also going to mean that your get your health back and get a job. Unless, of course, you don't need the extra money. If that's the case then provide your little daughter with plenty of love and affection to make up for the lack her dad is showing her.
Get your head on straight. You don't need negative input from other's. If his mom can't accept you as you are, you don't need to deal with her. It's her loss of a grandchild -- until she can learn to be nice.
2007-01-23 11:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by garynjanice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...just look her in the eyes and say, " Before you go passing judgment on me remember that your son had no problem getting me pregnant and not only that but is doing a lousy job of providing for the child he help make. Is that the type of man you raised him to be? " And tell her if she continues to talk to you in that way there will be no reason for you to continue to come over. Sometimes you just gotta let people know you are tired of their crap and shut the hell up. I don't gather her butt was there when the child was conceived.
2007-01-23 05:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by Wordsmith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd sever all ties with anyone who made me feel crappy. If she is such an authority on how others should BE then she should have raised her son to not sleep around unless HE was married. That makes me mad that there is such a double standard. You aren't asexual! You didn't impregnate yourself! Just tell her to leave you alone. Don't be mean about it, just tell her to stop calling. And child support does not mean that you are to bow down to him. If he wants to see his baby then he can come to you. Get rid of the toxic people in your life, and you will feel much better.
I wish you luck!
2007-01-23 05:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by madjennyvane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that you been childish at all. I think its more like her son who is the one who is been childish. It was not only you who brogh the child into the world but her son to.
I think he would & should spend time with the child to & paying child support is not only enough.
Aint worry about it honey,if i were you just give your child all the love you have (which im sure that you are) & you can leave the guy & his mother out of it. They do not rule your life. If i were you i would prob cut them out of the picture of my life & my childs life too
2007-01-23 05:47:49 · answer #7 · answered by MEHNAZ B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being childish. It is not your responsibility nor hers to 'convince' the father of the child to be a man. They are the ones being childish. GIrl keep movin' forward and show your child how a good woman handles it. I would keep away from them too. Tell her you will no longer come and visit if she treats you like this. You have no obligation to her or the childs father.
2007-01-23 05:15:49 · answer #8 · answered by Ramona 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I am a single mother as well, and I support my daughter. You don't need to let her talk to you like that. Try telling her that you didn't climb on yourself and get pregnant, and that if her son would have kept his thing in his pants, than you wouldn't have a child. Also, if he was any kind of a daddy than he would come see his daughter, and I wouldn't take my daughter and try to force him to see her.
2007-01-23 05:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-26 21:16:20 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋