My good friend is 25 n a single mom.Dating has been tough cause she always finds the losers.She resorted to finding a guy online.After talking 4 a few months on the phone n online they met n started dating right then n there.He lives 1.5 hrs away, is still finalizing a divorce that has taken 2 yrs already n is fighting for custody of his 2 kids.That all concerned me but I let it slide cause she seemed happy.Things changed a bit last week.She got mad at him on the phone for always talking about his soon-to-be ex.The next night after talking to him she blurted out that sometimes he was boring.The next night again she complained he was boring to talk to.She said "He n I need to stop talkin on the phone, theres nothing to talk about besides how our day went. When I talk about my son right away he flips the conversation n talks about kids.It gets boring n I hate conversation flippers."They see each other about 3 days a week in person but to me, if u cant talk on the phone what do u have?
2007-01-23 04:51:43 · 15 answers · asked by ju_ty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know long distance is tough, but part of knowing whether you can make it last is how you react to things. Finding him "boring" is not a good start.
Of course some people r not good at talking on the phone, but this is a couple that used to talk for 3-4 hrs a night, now its more like half an hr to an hr all of a sudden.
It seems they rarely talk about "life" n their relationship. Its always about friends, their kids, his divorce, etc.
2007-01-23 04:53:09 · update #1
no clue
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2007-01-23 04:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess the first thing to ask is he really getting a divorce. If so just let him know he talks about her all the time and it bothers you. He may not even realize he is doing it. Sometimes, many times people talk about what is going on in their own immediate life(things that are happening right now.) Secondly every conversation you have with someone is not going to be exciting, that is life. We can be selfish even if it is just that we don't want to always hear what is going on in the others life. It also sounds like it was rushed which I think more people tend to do than not or that they will admit anyways. If she really likes him and wants to continue to see him then they need to sit down and talk about what may be bothering them about one another. Relationships are the pits and hard to understand or make work but if two people are really dedicated to one another nothing can stand in their way. Best of luck to you and anyone that is in a new relationship or one that you've been in for years.
2007-01-23 13:06:19 · answer #2 · answered by countryplaces27 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should have a serious conversation with him, because he is not the one. Like you said if you can't find anything to talk about on the phone, then what will you say in person. She may have had bad luck with men before, but tell her to get involved in something she enjoys. You never know she might find the right guy for her!
2007-01-23 12:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by flygurl_co_06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes her relationship is cooling off - but that's nothing you need to be concerned about. If they were talking about moving in together or getting married you MIGHT have reason to be concerned, but it sounds like this relationship is just winding down and will end naturally.
Save "I'm really concerned" for physical or emotionally abusive relationships. Being bored isn't the end of the world.
2007-01-23 12:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to move on. If they aren't getting along just talking on the phone and have nothing to talk about, chances are it won't work. Especially if she is already getting mad at him. Maybe he isn't over his ex yet. There is alot to consider. She can either try talking to him and explain exactly how she feels or let it go and move on. Good Luck
2007-01-23 12:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by Lace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to stay out of it no matter what you do or say you will be in the wrong the only time you need to step in is if there is abuse. Let her talk and give her advice that's the only thing you can do. For some reason it works out and you had said will you need to leave him she will be mad at you they break up she will be mad at you.
2007-01-23 13:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by hotcandysmacker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you like her? but anyways next time she complains i think you should say to her then why are you talking to him stop wasting your time and look for something that makes you happy you shouldn't be bored so early in the relationship it should be exciting and fun shes still young and has time to find the love of her life but it doesn't seem like hes the one that hits the spot
2007-01-23 13:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by deey728 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they both are moving arond the bush without talking what they wont in life and all. its time may be they decide what they wont and what they dont.... may be try a sepration for a while ?? if they still feel they wont each other than that is it! but sepration should be for 6 months... time will tell them what they really wont ... ! anyway all the best! TC:)
2007-01-23 13:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems that she hasn't found the right guy this time, either. Maybe you should mention that, just ONCE, so she'll start to think about that.
Does sound like she's kind of seeing that for herself right now.
Not much that you can do. She has to make this choice for herself.
2007-01-23 12:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, in my opinion. maybe they arent in love as much as they need to be to have a succesfull long distance relationship...
And well, the phone cant replace the person itself i guess thats why they arent really talkin.. its not like a face to face conversation,, i say lets see how thiings will move on.
2007-01-23 13:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say they dont have much in common. But rather using each other as a crutch. And why on earth are you involved?
2007-01-23 12:57:19 · answer #11 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋