He was being crabby and he called and said my ex husband has him locked out of the main part of the house. He is in a room above the garage (heated) with a phone. He is not allowed to come in to eat or use the bathroom. What do you think I should do to my ex when I get there to pick him up??
2007-01-23 04:50:01 · 35 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Umm...I guess none of you have a very good answer. Thanks anyway. And I am taking care of the situation.
2007-01-23 04:56:26 · update #1
Wow. I didn't even cause the situation and all of you are hatin' on me. Why??
2007-01-23 04:57:25 · update #2
nocable4unow...I got it handled. Thanks babe. I know you would. And I know you'd pound his scrawny little body to a pulp.
2007-01-23 05:25:55 · update #3
When I say his scrawny little body...I meant my ex...not our son..
2007-01-23 05:26:31 · update #4
First, talk to him and find out if MAYBE there is a good reason...maybe there was a fire and he doesn't want to scare him, maybe theres a big spider he's trying to kill and doesn't want him having nightmares.
Most likely he doesn't have a good excuse. If he doesn't, find a way to lock your ex out of his house, and then call the prosecutor in the morning.
You might not need to get him locked up, but refusing a child bathroom priveleges is uncalled for.
And have your son piss on the steps to his porch too, maybe in the morning it will freeze and your ex will slip and fall in it.
2007-01-23 04:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by badbadboy6979 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, nice picture MOM. So, do you believe every word that comes out of your kids mouth? Did he mention that maybe he is being punished for something? Did he mention that the punishment was for 30min.(or some period of time within reason)? Did you even bother asking?
I would be very careful about the advice you take from people in here. Most of them, their answers as proof, have no idea about how CPS and custody laws work. You will need a great deal more than "my eight year old is locked up" to prove anything.
If you son was bad, and was put in a room for a certain amount of time as punishment, this is not abuse. Also, you are taking the word of an eight year old who isn't going to tell you why he is trouble. He is just going to call, likely because he knows he can stir up trouble. And, yes, kids will do that. My oldest has threatend to call Mom when I swatted her on the behind. I dialed the phone for her. Before you think you can go do all of this stuff these people "say you can", you better get familiar with this situation more than what you eight year old has to say, as well as the laws in your state concerning neglect, abuse, custody, and the such.
**added**
Concerning Ali's answer. You do not dictate how the child will be disciplined. Now, you two should work together, and present a united front concerning discipline. But, you do not get to dictate how the disipline goes. This child is his just as much as he is yours. He doesn't need your permission to discipline the child.
2007-01-23 04:55:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask your ex what your son did to be put in "time out" in a separate room? Your ex will have with no doubt a reason that Jr. pissed him off. If you don't agree with the type of punishment your ex implemented, then express to your ex how you would like punishment handled in those situations so you both can remain consistent and have a even more positive impact on your son's behavior. I know it's tempting to blast the ex simply because he is your ex, but take the high road and keep your son's well being as the focus not your ex being a dope.
2007-01-23 04:57:05 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your son is being punished and it trying to get out of it.
Children are smart and they play one parent against the other naturally. Your ex may be your ex, but he's still your child's father. The best thing you can do id have a united front when it comes to raising your son. I would give your ex a call and ask what's going on because your son called you saying he's locked out of the house.
Its up to you to agree or disagree with the punishment, but NOT in front of the child. (Arguing in front of a child weakens the strength of BOTH parents because the child is forgotten.)
If what your child did was really bad I would also have your child punish at your home too. Going from being punish to NOT being punish and back to being punished for the same single event can be very confusing to the child.
BTW,
Love the pic.
2007-01-23 08:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very important:
DO NOT YELL AT YOUR EX.
DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOUR CHILD SAYS ABOUT YOUR EX JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE DIVORCED FROM HIM.
In all truth and reality it is possible that your son did something bad and he is up there for punisment. Kids dont have to eat every five seconds, I went without dinner a few times when I was a kid, due to my acting up and then getting into trouble. I would before you talk to you son, ask your ex calmly what you son has done to be punished or put into the room about the garage. Even if it seems like something small or inconsequential to you, it could have been a huge anoyance to your ex and that is why your son is in trouble, it is not like hes been chained up outside in the snow and rain and held their without food or water for 10 days it is a very mind punisment.
I know it is easy for you to take your sons side of the argument as the truth, but please dont, it is important for prarents, even divorced ones, to present a unified front to their children, if regards to punishment etc. Think of how you would react if you ex told you how or how nto to punish his son if you had grounded your son from the tv and phone because he wasnt doing his homework etc.
Hope this helps Please write back and Tell me what you did
2007-01-23 05:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by cridec 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not hesitate to pick your son up immediately. If you think that there will be a physical problem with your husband, call the police first and let them know what is happening. If your some has been in trouble and your ex is punishing him, this is not the right way. I am not one of those extreme "dont spank your kids" people, but this is a form of neglect and if you know about it and do nothing to stop it you are legally liable as well. Find out what is going on, call your lawyer and ask what they think, and get your son home NOW!!!
2007-01-23 04:57:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt wait until you go pick him up! Call your ex now and ask why he is refusing to allow your son inside? Did he misbehave? Make it clear that no matter what your son did, if anything, it is unexceptable to lock him out of the house!! If this is a punishment, give him an example of how you handle your son if he misbehaves and tell him you would appeciate him handling it your way next time to keep things consistent. If he is just being a jerk and not allowing him inside then I would rethink sending your son there, if there is a court order for visitation take him back to court and submit this new information to the judge. I cannot believe a father would do that to his son.
2007-01-23 04:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The question should be, what did your Son do to deserve being put up there? Why do you just jump to your ex being at fault? Even if the punishment is a bit much, what was your Son doing wrong??? You said he was being crabby, so is he incapable of lying or making something up just to make you mad at your ex? Check it out before you blindly believe your 8yr old! He isn't perfect!
2007-01-23 04:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd call the police right now and stop this before it gets any further. This is crazy on behalf of your ex. He's just a young boy and don't deserve this. Even if your son is out by the time the police get there at least this will be documented that he did this and this info may come in handy to you in the future.
2007-01-23 04:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by AngieBaby 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd send that rather large, powerful boyfriend of yours over there... to have a little... umm... talk... with him about it.
Frankly, from what you've told me about your ex husband, if I lived closer I'd be more than happy to go and have that... talk... with him myself.
The talk would probably go something like this...
Him: Hey.. who are y....
Me: >CLANG< (Sound of crowbar on skull)
Then again, I'm feeling kinda froggy today... I'm in the mood for a good fist-fight... I swear, there's gonna be a 187 up in this piece today.
2007-01-23 05:04:50 · answer #10 · answered by Offended? Aww Have a Cookie! 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋