Do I be rude to co-worker?

Question

I have a co-worker who sits in the cubicle right beside of me. There are about 7 cubicles in my area. The lady beside me buts in every conversation that anybody has with anyone and makes the conversation her own by telling something that has happened in the past to her or in her family and by the time she is done the original person who started the conversation cannot finish. This happens every single time even if you specifically call another persons name she still buts in. Do I take her aside and let her know this is rude or should I stop her in her tracks right then and there the next time she does this and left her have it? If someone says somebody's name and asks them a work related question she doesn't even give them the chance to answer before she puts her 2 cents in. She otherwise is a very nice person and I don't want to hurt her feelings and make her feel awkard but this is rude behavior for a grown woman.

Answer 1

That is a very difficult situation, given that you have to continue to work next to her everyday. Considering that, you probably don't want to be rude.

I would probably handle it by pointing it out graciously when she interrupts: "Phyllis, I'm sorry, I wanted to hear what Abraham was about to say." Hopefully after a few times, she'll get the hint and back off some.

I've worked with people like that and sometimes they just don't get it. If she's anything like the ones I know, she'd get very defensive if you were to take her aside to talk to her about it, or if you were to be combative.

You just have to be diplomatic when you bring it up, otherwise you'll hurt her and that could make things worse for everyone depending on what type of person she is, who she has influence over, etc.

And if she still doesn't get it, everyone will just have to meet discreetly and make fun of her behind her back. I love office politics!

Answer 2

If you and other co-workers have discussed this between yourselves and all feel the same way, this would be my response: Two or three of us would be in my cubicle oneday talking and when she started it up again, I would say, " It is very important that everyone has a chance to express themselves, but even more importantly to have a non-hostile environment at work and make everyone comfortable it is necessary to exercise discretion and respect. Sometimes even though you may have problems doing it, it is best to just mind your business and complete the job assigned to you unless you are specifically asked for your opinion or help. Futhermore, opinions are like assholes everyone has one. No offense, but the truth."

Answer 3

In my opinion Angie you should just quietly take her aside and inform her of how her behaviour is bothering everyone and how rude it appears. She may not even be aware of the fact that she is doing so and may end up thanking you for letting her know. It would be much kinder then to embarrass her in front of everyone. Regardless of how she takes it at least you'll know that you did the proper thing and hopefully helped a woman alter her rude behaviour. Like you said she is a nice woman besides this irritating behaviour so why shun her or shut her out.

Answer 4

You know she may not even realize this is what she is doing, so why not take her aside and let her know very nicely that it is not her job to monopolize all conversations that is being carried on. Let her know when someone wants her input for the next conversation her name will be called. Otherwise she is going to run into someone that is not as nice as you and will take her head off for being so rude and ignorant.

Answer 5

stop her in her tracks, preferably when you have either asked someone else a question or been asked a question by someone else and she tries to butt in. you don't want to come off as a hypocrite, telling her not to butt in by butting in to tell her that. but it's better to do it when she does it instead so you can use that time as an example instead of just taking her aside and talking to her about it because she'll probably deny she does it or she might not even be aware how rude it is and she just does it naturally without even realizing it.

Answer 6

You don't want to start a fight with someone you have to work with every day. Take her aside quietly and start the conversation with "I'm sure you don't even realize you're doing it but..."

That will make you a friend helping rather than an enemy attacking.

Answer 7

We call a woman in our office ASK JEEVES cause she is just like the person you are describing. Some folks don't realize they are doing that because no one has told them to cut that crap out. Embarrassing her might make bad blood in the office- pull her to the side and if she continues - them embarrass her in front of others. She had her chance. ready set go!

Answer 8

well, you could let her have it, and she might not get her feelings hurt or feel awkward, or you could take her aside and be as nice as possible, and she could be devastated. I guess you have to weigh the possible outcomes and decide what you are willing to risk....chances are that she's just trying to be friendly, and even if you did point out her behavior, she'd not change it easily.

Answer 9

Tell her no one was speaking to her. Or when she starts to speak say the following: anyway as we were saying
Just continue from there. She would shut up

Answer 10

If I were you, I would first try to be as civil as humanly possible at first. If she continues this behavior, then I would let her have it.