Do you know that he loves you, and only seeks to bless you with his Noodly Appendages? Do you know that he will annoint thine head with sauce, and call you to sit at the dinner table forevermore? (Do you know that if you deny him, you will be forced to diet? Do you know that the unbelievers will be forced to eat celery and carrots for all eternity?)
2007-01-23 04:43:48 · 16 answers · asked by ? 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Repeat after me:
I believe in God, the Flying Spaghetti Monster,
the Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Marinara, His only Sauce, our Lord:
Who was conceived of the Holy Cheese,
born of the Virgin Olive Oil,
simmered in a covered pot,
was stirred, tasted, and was poured.
He descended through the pasta.
The third minute He was tossed again with the noodles.
He ascended into a tureen
and covers each noodle of God the Flying Spaghetti Monster,
whence He shall come to stain the shirt and the tie.
I believe in the Holy Parmesan, the holy ground pepper,
the twirling of strands,
the slurping of sauce,
the savoring of perfection,
and the meal everlasting.
2007-01-23 05:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by Dave P 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The FSM is soft yet difficult. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is super effective. He kicked the 'christian god's' a** everywhere in the state of Kansas while he confirmed up at a State Board of education. That board replaced into going to tension biology instructors to incorporate creationism interior the curriculum. while the FSM finished duking the 'christian god', the 'christian god' replaced into mendacity on the floor, bleeding, crying, and pi**ing his pants.
2016-12-16 11:35:54 · answer #2 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not long ago I had a near-death experience. The Flying Spaghetti Monster came to me and showed me all that awaited me on the divine dinner table. We all have the Divine Chocolate Pie awaiting us when HE blesses us!
Before HE sent me back, telling me that my work was not yet done, HE gave me a few guidelines to live by.
1) Always chew with thine mouth closed. Otherwise the sacrements may fall out.
2) Keep thine elbows off-ith the table.
3) Honor thine salad and greens. For behold, they maintain your strength.
When the EMTs brought me back I forgot the rest. He had written them on Garlic Bread, but someone got hungry and ate it.
2007-01-23 05:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by angelhair_007 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ramen! I feel the light touch of His noodly appendage and my heart is filled with the wavy gravy!
2007-01-23 04:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Alas, I know only the muffin man. I wish I could feel the noodly tendrils, be overwhelmed by the tomatoey sense of sauce, but my faith is weak and I fear to lose my self. Maybe someday.
(Say, shouldn't you look more like a pirate?)
2007-01-23 05:23:26 · answer #5 · answered by skepsis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been touched by His Noodly Appendage
2007-01-23 04:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes I do! May His Noodly Appendages reach out and touch my life. My His Holy Pasta grace me with plentiful carbs and flowing marinara!
RAmen!!
2007-01-23 04:46:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Praise RAmen.
2007-01-23 04:48:02 · answer #8 · answered by Puggz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I worship trhe FSM, every night around dinner. Ramen
2007-01-23 04:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by PØstapØc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The FSM came to me in a vision on my plate the other night.
2007-01-23 04:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by Author Unknown 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋