Do you think it's appropriate for a man and a woman to get married in a church if they already live together?

Answer 1

Of course, it's fine. Churches may (note, I said, "may", so that doesn't mean I think all are like that) "shun" people for living in such a way, but God doesn't. Even if it is a sin in your faith, doesn't mean God won't forgive you. This is why I'm a Christian who doesn't believe in organized religion. Just because you lived together doesn't mean God won't recognize your marriage. It doesn't make it any less holy. I also (I am not a Bible expert by any means) don't recall where it says a man and woman can't live together. The words of the Bible don't favor pre-marital sex, but what's wrong with living together but not having sex? What's the difference between that and a roommate (not that this situation happens very often, though, probably never).

Answer 2

We ran into this issue before we married 20 years ago. Had already been living together for 9 months. I was catholic and hubby not. Consulted with my priest who said that under those circumstances, we could not marry in the church *unless* we married in a civil ceremony first, as then we would legally already BE married so living together would not be an issue.

As it turned out, we married legally and were about to be married in the church 1 year later when the (different) priest declined 2 hours before to perform the ceremony because we were practicing birth control.

So, yes, I think it is just fine, but I would not put myself through that emotional roller coaster again to try to please *some guy* who interprets the will of god.

But I will say that the pre-cana classes that the church made us attend were VERY good. We are probably still married 20 years later because these classes prepared us for what marriage is REALLY like.

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

I plan on getting married in a church and I've been living with my boyfriend for almost a year. No biggie! Getting married in a church setting is mainly a tradition so no one really looks at the couple living together. Personally, I think it's very wise to live with someone before you marry that person. You can get an up close and personal look at how the two of you will be spending the rest of your lives together.

Answer 4

It's not really what any of us think, it's what the minister that you intend to have marry you & the church thinks. It is their rules that you must abide by.
Some churches ask that you stop living together before the marriage. I don't understand that reasoning. Do they think you'll stop having sex? And do those couples that don't live together, never hook up under the sheets???

As far a Biblical principle? You are aware of what it says, I imagine., about fornication. But I tend to vary on this issue from other ministers.
Without preaching a sermon, if you are indeed 'betrothed' and just waiting the legalities of the marriage, I think you're okay.
If you're just living together "to-see-if-this-is-going-to-work -out" ...... well usually it doesn't.

Answer 5

My husband and I lived together before we got married and had our ceremony in a Church. I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all. Living with someone today is looked on a lot differently than it was a decade ago. We have been happily married for 8 years and I believe our marriage has been more blessed because we were joined together in a Church. Go for it!!!

Answer 6

Yes, this is 2007!! I think people should live together before getting married, at least for a year. That way you know if you can accept all their little habits. A year is about enough time to see the real character of a person in many situations, after all character is the most important quality in a person.

Answer 7

My wife and I had been living together for 2 and a half years before we got married. The ceremony was at her church (I'm aethiest).

The pastor didn't have any problems with us living together before getting married. In my personal opinion, living together before getting married is a good idea because it gives both partners a chance to find out how compatible they are in all aspects of the relationship and learn to communicate/compromise early on. Either that or they will go their seperate ways.

In theory, this will increase the chances of the marriage being more successful in the long-term because the spouses are better able to cope with problems that my arise.

Answer 8

I think you probably already know the answer to this in your heart. It has been my experience that most ministers will insist on you going through what is now called couple counseling anyway before they will marry you, so this will probably come up. Although a church is sacred ground, think about a reception hall where you can do the wedding and reception in one, that way people are already seated and comfortable.

Answer 9

of course. my fiance' and i pray together and do devotionals together, etc. we feel that our relationship with God is strong, seperate and together, as one. we both have been really really hurt by people in "the church," so we don't have a church family. however, we are getting married in the church i grew up in, which is a wonderful place. the minister is in full support of our upcoming marriage. as far as judgemental people go, who cares? we don't have time for people who cast stones. we only have time to love others and ourselves and try hard to be the best Christians we can be.

Answer 10

Yes. Just because they live together doesn't mean God won't accept the marriage and doesn't mean all hope is lost of them getting back to a good place with a relationship with God. You wouldn't say they shouldn't go to chruch from now on, would you? It's kinda the same thing. Everyone interprets the bible differently and God is very forgiving...