Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with an ADHD 3 year old toddler?

Question

We have a 3 year old toddler who has been diagnosed with ADHD, although, technically, he is too young to be actually diagnosed yet. Our mental health professional stated we should try an 8 week behavioral program, and then if that fails, then we will go ahead and have the testing done so that we can try a low dose of medication to try to control him. The three year old has severe issues with defiance, hyperactivity, and focusing. He was kicked out of his first daycare (pre-school) within the first six hours, and told he was never allowed back. He is very hyper and will run in circles, do backflips off the couch, run into doors...etc. He also has excessive talking and constantly repeats himself. Has the appearance as if his mind is going 90mph. He can't even sit through a meal for more then 2 minutes without jumping off the chair and running around. Has not responded to any type of discipline, time-outs, corporal punishment, negative and positive reinforcement. What to do???????

Answer 1

I can’t believe the school kicked him out within 6 hours! My guess is that his teachers were not experienced working with spirited children and it was just easier for them to kick him out. I have taught preschool and kindergarten for over 12 years. Over the years I have had many ADHD students, some who were even kicked out of schools (I have never had to kick one out). The techniques I use to discipline them are the same I would use for any child, they just take a little more time. They also need a consistent schedule. They need a snack at the same time, to go outside at a given time, circle time at the same time. I notice that a disruption in their schedule greatly affects children with ADHD. So do your best to keep a consistent schedule.

Using logical or natural consequences are the best ways to discipline children. Taking away a toy or privileges when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he spills his milk, he wipes it up. If he breaks a toy, puts it in the trash. Let the “punishment” fit the crime.

Another thing you can try when he is misbehaving is to get down to his level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take him gently by the hand and put him in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (control yourself, stop hitting, listen, behave, calm down) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling him). He can return when he is ready to control himself. You may have to take him back to the spot a few times before he gets the message. Empathize with him. "You must be really (angry, upset, hurt, mad, frustrated..). What can we do about that?" This will help him to better communicate his feelings Thank him when he behaves. Keep it up!

I’ve had several students that were very much like your son. When I have a child who is “running in circles” in the classroom, I take them gently by the hand and walk them to the playground and say “It looks like you have lots of energy today. Run around the yard a few times to get it out.” Giving them a place to release there hyper energy really helps! I also find that when a child is talking excessively, it helps to get to their level, look them in the eyes, and listen. I then repeat back what they say to me so that they can tell that I am listening and that I “see” them.

Notice him when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture! You did that by yourself!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful in a positive way.

Limit television, video games, and computer time. Children with ADHD are greatly affected by these.

My guess is that by trying these techniques you will see a very different child in a short amount of time, without medication. I have seen amazing results with my ADHD students using these techniques! I you decide to find another preschool, go with one that is smaller and one where the teachers have lots of experience teaching.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. Pick you battles! You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 2

I would try the behavior mod that the Dr recommended. If it doesn't work, go to a licensed psychologist and have an evaluation done. Hyperactivity is COMPLETELY normal at this age, that is why ADHD is not diagnosed until later. But what you are describing is more like my son, who was later diagnosed with Asperger's, which is in the Autism spectrum.

I wouldn't go to the meds first. If the problem is autism, most meds only make it worse. If it is not, meds can change the development of the brain. Depending on where you live, there are Early Intervention offices which your doc should be able to write a referral to. They send people to your home to help work with your son. There are also a ton of therapeudic preschools out there. They will not turn your son out, and they specialize in dealing with ADHD, autism and other disorders. They are definately worth looking into.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

Go with the behavioral program, you should probably hire an ABA trainer because they have experience with extreme behaviors like you mention. It will probably take a lot longer than eight weeks though. Get a program in place, and see how much it helps. The drugs for adhd have very serious side-effects, and as well do NOT help with behavior, just with activity. You WILL need behavioral intervention regardless of whether you medicate or not.

I'd also get another opinion, no self-respecting psychologist would diagnose a three yo with adhd. There could be something much more serious going on.

Answer 4

Have you tried a gymnastics or ballet class. Maybe a sport or head start type school also. Some kids are very laid back and are fine with simple puzzles but I was never one of them. I constantly needed more. We lived in the country so I was outside from morning to evening constantly running and climbing. Then would have a day where I could sit and do Hooked on Phonics. But I was constantly being challenged, anything very basic bored me to death. A great example was while my mother was napping. I was 4 and decided that I wanted into the spare bedroom so I found a screw driver and removed the nob, and the insides and plowed my way in. I was a challenge so I went for it. Maybe just try getting her into an activity that is more challenging, and will use up some physical and mental energy.

Answer 5

He is WAY too yound to even consider medication! A behavioral program is not a bad idea, but DO NOT put a child that young on medication for ADHD. You need a second opinion here. A doctor that would consider medicating a small child is not an appropriate choice of physician to care for this child. Educate yourself on appropriate developmental activities and environmental modification! Take a deep breath mom, you can handle this without drugging your baby!!!

Answer 6

Hi, we went through the same type of thing with our 4 yr old. Firstly, I don't recomend putting him on medication at his age, even if he does fail the test. I think there are a few things you may want to try first. Fish oil, go to your health food store and get Fish oil, I think its called Effelex? or close, anyway, it sais right on the bottle used to treat a.d.h.d, ect. you put a teaspoon in their juice and they don't even notice it, plus its lemon flavored. The fish oil has something in it, that children, and adults with a.d.h.d cannot produce in their brains, and when you give them this, it helps. Secondly, check into his diet, their may be a food he is sensitive to, red dye is something a lot of kids are sensitive too, koolaid type drinks, that are full of color, and sugar, make sure he's not eating too much sugar. Then, councelling, as youve already said, and there are plenty of good books out there about a.d.h.d, I recomend a book called "scattered minds" we chose not to put our son on medication, and to teach him relaxation therapy, I think relaxation therapy is essential to these children. there are really good websites about that too. If you want to email me for more info you can, [e-mail] I'm generally a very open minded person, and don't like to tell people what to do, but I think that medication is really not necessary in a child as young as ours. One more thing I will recomend, having a second opinion, because we found out after second and third opinions, that he has a receptive language delay, and sometimes symptoms of those two are the same. And receptive language delay is actually treatable. I hope you find the answer you are looking for. Good luck. one more thing I'd like to add, have you looked into montesori school? I know where I'm from its very expensive, but I don't know for you, maybe you could try looking into montessori school, they teach the kids at as individuals.

Answer 7

ADHD is the new thing I think. I have had medical professionals tell me it is WAY over-diagnosed. Be careful. I would definitely try a behavioral program. The mental health professional even said he is too young to be diagnosed, so why are the "professionals" you're dealing with attempting to get him on meds?

Answer 8

Gee whiz, a boy with adhd. What a bunch of crap- its called testosterone, I mean 30 years ago what would he have been diagnosed with? If he is hyper, alter his diet, stay away from sugar and refined wheat. Step back and take a look at the behavior that he is exposed to. Put him on a gerbil wheel J/K, but really, he has to run out of energy- see what brings on the behavior and take steps to remedy it! Is this your only child? have you heard of the terrible twos? Sometimes it happpens at three or at 13. Good luck- drugs are not an answer for anything, becauswe they treat symptoms and not causes- If you want to remedy the symptom, you have to first find the cause and then treat the cause, thus alleviating the symptoms! Did you know that drug companies give kick backs for prescriptions?

Answer 9

Hyperactivity was usually run down with outside activities...sounds like the eight week behaviorial program is leading to the testing for meds...Good Luck

Answer 10

Hi,
I went thru this also, but everything we tried did not work, So I went to a Pediatric Neurologist, and He was actualy DX'd with PDD-NOS, which is in the Autism Spectrum. Medication is a personal choice, and YOU know your child best. I keep my mind open to all suggestions for our son , who is on medication, but we also have other therapies. I suggest you get as much info as possible and talk to a Developmental Ped. or Neurologist to see what avenues you can explore.