we had mutual consent divorce 2 yrs back. my daughter has never stayed with me since birth. and now she is getting unmanagable for my ex-wife. i have been diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder (BPD) last year (history of physical abuse in childhood). some of the traits of BPD can be inherited, and my daughter seems to have picked up the worst from me. while i have undergone therapy, it's distressing to see my daughter having these characteristics at such a young age. i emphathise with my ex-wife but beyond that there's not much i can do from long distance. we are both doctors (i'm obstetrician & she's paediatrician) and at wit's end. any child psychologist here?
my 4 yr daughter beats up everyone at her home (uses stick)- ex-wife & in-laws, pulls their hair, bites them, screams as if someone is hurting her. it's embarassing for them (neighbours hear). if not allowed to beat them, she bangs her head on walls and bites herself. they pacify her for fear of self-mutilation
2007-01-23 03:33:59 · 12 answers · asked by lawrence_of_labia 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
try getting her into counseling....it has helped with my 4yo daughter who has been diagnosed with severe bi-polar disease, as well as ocd, there is a strong family history of both in my family, she still has the fits and mood swings but is slowly learning of other outlets that are more acceptable. i wish you all th luck in the world in finding her the help that she needs.
2007-01-23 03:40:59 · answer #1 · answered by klowery1971 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I have an ex-husband with BPD and two of my three daughters as well. I would shut her away quietly in another room when she threatens to have a tantrum. No physical or vocal contact until she can act calmly. You had better put your foot down now as it will only get worse as time goes by and she becomes bigger, stronger and louder. She needs to learn to put the brakes on her behavior and it's better to start young than to try to rewire her later. You can get a pretty accurate diagnosis of BPD when she's around 12 if that is indeed the problem.
2007-01-23 04:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a psych but I work with children and the thing you have to do is not to pacify. I recognize children behave a certain way when they get attention from people that are not around them all the time. This misbehavior is known when new comers come around. It seems as though children know when company comes , when you are in a public place, when they should be quite etc. Face it we use to be children too. Remember what we did to our parents? and remember what our parents did to us. They scolded and took things away, and if we were behaving this way at home they would just ignore the fall outs and the crying and make us either go to our room until we fall asleep or put on something educational on the tube while we were there confined. Parenting is a hard job. I think your daughter behave this way because she knows all the attention she gets from it. Good Luck.
2007-01-23 03:48:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jamonican 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe the divorce wasn't so "mutual"- it appears the child is having a horrible time adjusting to having her family destroyed and her mother out of the picture. No wonder she acts up with the mother- she's angry at her for abandoning her! And since you both probably work full time being doctors, who parents the child? Daycare? Nanny? So she's abandoned all day, too while daddy and mommy are out helping other kids?
Don't you parents see how your happy little divorce has devastated your child? She doesn't have a mental disorder, she has parents who have destroyed her life! It doesn't take a shrink to understand this. You and your wife got married, had a baby and screwed over the kid, who is now so angry and upset, she's acting like a little animal because she's too young to articulate her anger.
It's incredible how you parents are so eager to tag your own kid with a "mental disorder" to excuse your own role in all this. The child doesn't need counseling- you both needed marriage counseling! Your divorce has damaged your child, and these are the consequences of you and your wife not being "happy" together.
2007-01-23 03:57:06 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, let her bang her head and bite herself. She's not hurting anyone BUT herself at that point...though it can be painful to watch.
And let her scream; she will eventually learn that screaming is not going to get her what she wants. Especially if no one gives in to her "demands." And that is exactly what they are...hostage demands.
She should not be allowed to hit or injure others, so therefore should be restrained for the period of the tantrum where that occurs.
Finally, and this is THE most important....get that child into therapy too!!! She obviously needs intervention; as a pediatrician, your wife should have seen this and acted upon it.
MY pediatrician recommended a child psychologist when my son was out of control like that; it DID help.
2007-01-23 03:42:02 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She sounds like she has more than BPD going on and needs to be under pediatric psych care for a proper diagnosis and treatment. I am not sure why your ex hasn't taken her in for testing and treatment yet. If you are both docs that is something that she should have done a longgggggggggggg time ago. Contact her and let her know that she needs to get a proper diagnsosis and treatment and the sooner the better.
2007-01-23 03:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would first try changing her diet. Alot of the food that adults and kids eat can cause symptoms as described. Cut out wheat and milk, and all by products. Next be sure to avoid insulin spikes, you can do this by combining sufficient protein and fat with each meal containg carbohydrates. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-23 03:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that she needs professional, but also notice that she has your ex wife and in laws tagged as to get her own way.if she continues to do this all she has to get her own way is to throw a hissy fit and bingo what ever she wants. so this should be looked at as well she will have to be retrained in to a confident little human being not the out of control demon that is controlling both worlds , smart kid
2007-01-23 03:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
stop giving her sugar, i know if i stop eating chocolate i have no energy, only give her fruit and veg and healthy food, seriously it caused by too much energy and maybe by lack of disipline. now beating is way too severe but maybe just wigging their ear, and if they cry or throw a tanrum, ignore them. She's doing it for notice.
2007-01-23 03:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by paddy.ryan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need the Super Nanny!!!
2007-01-23 03:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋