me and this guy dated for 2 yrs.we both have our flaws,no one's perfect after all.he mentioned marriage, but i wasn't quite ready to settle down.after that, i dumped him over the phone and refused to see him for 5 months.he told everyone that i was "the one" (his parents and friends and mutual friends)and was a wreck,or so i heard from mutual friends.after the 5 months,i decided to see him again.we dated for a bit,but i have this nasty habit of "breaking up" with him whenever i get really pssed during an argument(he's sensitive and would cry).i guess it was my strange way of getting back at him for making me mad or something (we would get back together a day later).so one time i "dumped" him, but this time he refused to get back together.he started a relationship a girl.during this time,i tried my hardest to get him back and realized what i'd lost.after that girl dumped him(lasted a month),he came back to me.now,we don't fight.but i can't help but feeling like 2nd best next to his ex.
2007-01-23 03:31:07 · 14 answers · asked by stelze 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need your own therapy about how you handle relationships.
Consider this a learning experience. Move on, and let him move on.
2007-01-23 03:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, second, third, it doesn't matter. What matters is that YOU'RE with him now and no one else. Sometimes we tend to take things and even people for granted and at times we don't know when we have a good thing, till unfortunately, it's gone. Learn from this experience and don't let your anger get the best of you. When you find yourself angry to the point when your about to erupt, simply walk away, calm down and give yourself some space and think about what just happened. Then when you're relaxed and so is he, continue to discuss (not yell) and listen to one another. Again, learn from this experience and realize that the next time this happens, you might not be as lucky!!! Good Luck!!!
2007-01-23 12:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, being blunt here! You broke up with this guy over and over. My goodness, I am surprise he took you back. You need to grow up. Take responsibility for own action. I think you need to find yourself and be happy as woman. Be grateful you are together and stop assuming and complaining. Feeling like 2nd best because you make yourself feel that way. All the guilt you have of playing with this guys feeling. No you are no longer fight, you looking for another to leave him. Grow up!! you are a DRAMA QUEEN!!
First if you are not ready to get married, there's a thing called communication, start with " I feel" rather than just dump the guy and ran away from your problems.
So get a grip!
2007-01-23 11:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by smiley710 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His ex of a month? I don't understand, is there another ex that you didn't mention? If he only dated the girl for a month, and he was obviously just dating her on a rebound, how can you be jealous?? You need to realize that you have yourself a good guy! Stop doubting yourself, stop doubting the relationship and stop doubting him! I think the reason you feel the need to control him is because of your own insecurities- trust me girl I am the same way. He is a good guy and he loves you for who you are. It's all in your head, you are totally his number one!
2007-01-23 11:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by Suki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me?! After the way you have treated him, you have no choice but to work to earn his respect and trust back. After all, how do you expect this guy to let his guard down and be trusting of you after every time you have an argument he runs the risk of you breaking it off with him since that has been your track record. Hard to go through life in any relationship that way! I would honestly take a step back for awhile and figure out who you are and what you want out of life before trying to get in a relationship with anybody at this point...you're not being fair to yourself or to him.
2007-01-23 11:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by chick33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is this because you feel she has given him something you couldnt give....a backbone?,he has changed but after a month the change will be slight,,the person you dated is still there but now has a fresh perspective on what amount of crap he is prepared to take,,,you have a chance here to enjoy and not sabotage what you could have with him,,stop aggravating to the point 'you win' and concentrate on talking and not punishing,,your self esteem seems to be low and this seems to come out when you feel threatened with losing your power over the situation,,being able to make him cry basically means he still feels the same for you and he loses as you win,,not healthy for either of you and if you care for him as you say you do you need to stop and learn to convey how you feel with words and not actions.good luck.
2007-01-23 11:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel you are 2nd best to him. I feel because you always would break up with him and hurt him that he was trying his best to move on, to forget you with this other girl. He probably tried to make you jealous. Look, you hurt him alot of times, now he hurt you once, good to hear you two are back together. Just realize to value your guy and try to find other ways to resolve your problems instead of always breaking up with him. Be sensitive to his feelings, as you would want him to be sensitive towards your feelings. My guess is that you are his love and number one girl. Give this relationship another chance. My best to you both!
2007-01-23 11:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't help feeling like second best, because you are...sorry you broke up got back together he went to some one else she dumped him, he came back to you...why would you let this guy use you for his own satisfaction?...he himself dosen't know what he wants...and what is stopping him further down the line going off with some one else? self preservation, is what counts here.... protect your heart it can only take so much.
2007-01-23 11:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Do you love him or don't you' that is the question you should be worried about. May be he only wanted to feel important that is why he might have got together with the other girl. After all you must have hurt his ego by continuously dumping him.
2007-01-23 11:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think you might have some guilt coming up? I mean his ex meant nothing to him. I mean it was a fling. You were in his life for 2 years. You might need to stop hurting him because you have hurt inside of you.....I like to look for the gratitude in my life, that way I keep my focus on me, not my husband. You need to find your acceptance of who "YOU" are....Then start to like "YOU"..I think you have a lot to offer to this man.
2007-01-23 11:40:59 · answer #10 · answered by Bill & Janet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋