Advice needed please. I've been wiv my b/f for about 3yrs we split last year for 2mths an got back togther to try to see if it could work. I finished it last time as he had been textin some1 who he worked with. We got back together as he kept pushin me with the lets not waste the years we've been together and with him crying all the time. I did want to try our relationship again to see if i could love him the way he loves me but i cant i only like him as a friend a love him and care about him but im not in love with him. I need help on how to tell him this NICELY as i dont want to be with him no more. I wanna move on and get on with my life but i dont want to totally crush him.
2007-01-23 03:19:27 · 32 answers · asked by sparkleeyes82 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Comments are all good but i'm noticing it is easy for a bloke to dump his girlfriend but it ain't so easy for us girls to dump their boyfriends.
2007-01-23 03:53:33 · update #1
It seems like it is going to be difficult to break up with him because he will keep following you like a puppy. If you feel better without him, then you are meant to be alone right now. If he keeps reminding you of the wasted three years if you are going to break up, just remind him of the rest of your lives you have. That is much longer than three years and I would rather have my whole life in happiness than in sorrow just because I couldn't get rid of a boyfriend who says he is in love.
Either way it is going to be hard for him and crushing, so telling him to back away is really the only way you can fully enjoy your own life.
2007-01-23 03:25:27 · answer #1 · answered by Lupita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i'm really sorry things didn't work out between you guys, but if you don't feel the same way he has to know. The best thing to do would be to invite him over for a chat or go on a walk, go somewhere quiet where you can have a serious talk with no interruptions. You could start by telling him you love him so much as a friend and he is a great person however make it clear he will never be more than that, and tell him kindly but firmly that you don't want to ruin your friendship and if he truly cares about you he will respect your decision and not pressure you into giving him a second chance.
I hope you sort it out. Good Luck.
2007-01-23 03:29:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately there is no easy way to tell someone that you want to split up with them. If you don't love him anymore then you need to tell him you want to split up so you can move on and why. If you just split up then he will likely get mad and claim that you never talked to him. Sure after you have said what you wanted him to hear then he might be crushed, and that is normal it happens and there is nothing that you can do. Your honesty means a lot him even if you don't think it does. Then again it could turn out that he thinks it is best since you have brought it up and then he won't have to go behind your back in the future if it happens and text other women. Just tell him you only see him as a friend and nothing more. If he agrees to be friends then there is nothing to worry about, although it up to him what his decision is since you know what you want to do.
2007-01-23 03:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I know how hard this must be. It sucks to be a heartbreaker, sepecially in my case when I've had my hearts broken. SO i'll give you the advice that I would like if someone had to break up with me. BE HONEST. Do not run away, DO NOT make up lies or excuses....because that hurts the most. and most importantly: DO NOT IGNORE THE PERSON!!!! Ignorance hurts....but you know, the truth hurts aswell but at least it gives the other person a peice of mind knowing that you're not lying and that you are being honest about how you feel. either way hurts, but at least with the truth, you can get over it faster. explain all your feelings, either in a letter or in a person. I've had friends who were in relationships for longer than 3 years....and yes, while you guys had a long time of your life together, he has to learn to move on one way or another. Just let him know the truth.
2007-01-23 03:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Lili 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you cant really do this without crushing him - when one partner doesnt want to end things and the other does - theres no easy way out of it.
I guess you just tell him that you do love him - but not in an intimate way anymore - and that you feel you're depriving him of being with someone that has a genuine love for him if you stay with him. Tell him you think hes great and all that but you feel that you've come to the end of the road with regards the two of you and it feels more like a safe and secure habit instead of a relationship.
Good luck
xx
2007-01-23 03:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it. From a guys perspective: he will get over it. It's better for everyone that way. It's gonna hurt no matter what and there is always a recovery time. Let him go and find someone that wants to be with him and you find someone that gives you that in-love feeling. It's unfair for both of you to drag it out any longer or you WILL be wasting years.
Sorry for being so blunt but it's not good to stay in a relationship where your not happy.
Hope it helps a bit.
2007-01-23 03:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say something nicely be stright up with him and tell him what you said on the note you said about " I can't love him I only like him as a friend a love him care baout him but not in love with him... You know He going to be hurt anyway and better tell him stright up... If he begging you pls pls no no don't leave me I love you... don't let that guilty get on you... you did what best and told him how you feel and now you are off the hook.
if he cry and stuff tell him I am sorry, I am being honest with you and told you how i feel and I think we jsut need to be friend. It will crush him but he need to understand how you feel. I am glad you notice and want to move on get on with your life... telling him honest better than lie or make up. Yes honest will hurt everyone they srue don't want to hear it.
good thing you didn't get married or got pregant by him then you will wished you didn't. but 3 years wow, I have to say I am very proud of you smiling for what you done.
So go out there and tell him honest like you said and he has to hear it and you got to do what you need to do.
2007-01-23 03:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i split up with boyfriend of 2 and a half years i sat him down and explained that i was not able to love him like he loved me and prefered to be good friends im sorry to say there is no easy way of saying it and he was upset for a while but we are still very good friends 7 months down the line and now i have a new boyfriend he is still a good friend to me my ex did want a little time to get used to it so if your bloke needs time give it to him he will respect you for it i hope this is some help to you and good luck
2007-01-23 03:28:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. The more time you spend letting him work on this relationship is going to hurt him in the long run. In time he will get over you. He will find someone who does care about him the way he wants you to.
I have learned from past relationships that it is best to be honest with one another. You tried it--it did'nt work. You tried it again. And it doesn't seem to be working again.
Just let him know before someone else tells him. He won't be as crushed if the news comes from you.
Here's how you could start.
You, know things just aren't working for me. I don't feel the way I used to. You need to find someone who can give you what I can't.
But remember just be honest with him.
2007-01-23 03:26:56 · answer #9 · answered by Jerrie's Daddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regretfully, if he's in love with you, there is no easy way! He's gonna be hurt! Just try explaining the things wrong with the relationship to him, and tell him you have tried, but it's not working and it's best for both of you to move on to someone who makes you happy and who you can make happy! Good Luck! It's not gonna be an easy thing to do but you need to do it for both of you!
2007-01-23 03:26:19 · answer #10 · answered by justanotherday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋