I am seeing this girl but her weight worries me.... she is skinny... and told me in an email that she had lost weight due to stress at work... I dont think that it is possible for her to lose too much more... so I told her that it upsets me that she has lost weight....
Now she he asking me alsorts of Q's like "she isnt too skinny ...do i think" leading questions......I Dont want to upset her any more and feel cruel for telling her in the first place although I said it with all the best intentions ...because i care about her and her health...
2007-01-23 02:59:21 · 33 answers · asked by Fox Hunter 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not cruel at all! It's good that you were concerned enough to say something.
2007-01-23 03:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by c 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is rather noble of you to tell her so and you would not have if you do not care about her and this is absolutely what you should tell her. Say to her that you are not meaning to be cruel but you love and care about her very much and that is why you are concerned. Being underweight is just as bad as being overweight. Find out if there are ways that you can help her to relieve the stress she's dealing with instead of her dealing with it alone and even if she says no, think of ways to help her. Be genuine. If you guys don't meet for lunch, then try to arrange lunches with her to ensure that she eats and that she's at least distracted from work during lunch. Call her a lil more often at work to insert lil breaks in her day; take her out for ice cream (this way u can fatten her up without her being suspicious...lol. Just lil things like that, you'd be amazed at the difference that it could make. It is definitely a situation you want to stay on top of, if she does have a problem she will not admit it.
Good luck!
2007-01-23 03:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Slim Shady 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to tell someone you care about that you are worried about their weight regardless if they are underweight or overweight.
You can begin by telling her that you care about her very much and that she has become someone special in your life. Express your concern about the work stress and what repercussions that may have on her health such as her weight loss. You like her the way she is and you would hate to see her become ill due to the weight loss caused by the stress at her work. Tell her that you will go with her to a health store to find out more on vitamins that might help better deal with the stress. If she is not taking a multi-vitamin ask her is she would consider it.
Sometimes work stress can either cause us to gain or loss weight due to so much work that we don't have time to eat or eat in a hurry to get back to what we have to finish at work. Personally speaking, I manage a small bail bond company and the work is so hectic that sometimes I spend about 18 hours there a day. I do anything there from receptionist to accounting depending on what is needed.
If it had not been for a caring person who came into my life and brought it to my attention then I might still be gain weight and risking health problems to develop. I am now attempting to date that caring man who has a very hectic work schedule and showed me other ways to take better care of myself.
She will understand that you do really care about her because you care enough to be concerned about her health. Hope she can realize what a wonderful man she was lucky to find.
Good Luck
2007-01-23 03:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not cruel at all, but girls tend to be very sensitive over their weight. I remember when I put on a few pounds, and my then fiance told me instantly to shed it off. His reason was that he doesn't want to see me being obese, not only because it's unattractive, but also it isn't healthy. I was initially upset, but eventually I gave in and admit that I wasn't feeling too healthy with my diet and weight either. It takes us girls a while to admit it, even when the intention is good. Could it be the words that you used to tell her of her weight? Cos that is very sensitive and it hurts if you use the wrong words. Do your research on how she can reduce her stress and the proper diet she should follow. Take her out to eat and pick out healthy food for her. Not only the date will help reduces her stress, she gets to eat healthy and gain back some extra pounds.
2007-01-23 03:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by Hanna 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if you're concerned you're right to say something. If you didn't it would only be playing on your mind and you would probably feel guilty for niot mentioning it.
Weight is a sensitive issue so I'd be careful how you approach it. As weird as it sounds, if this girl has got an issue with her wieght (i.e. she's deliberatley trying to loose it and keep slim) you mentioning the fact she's skinny could probably actually reinforce her weigt loss. I had a friend who had an eating disorder and whenever anyone commented that she had lost wieght (no matter how concerned they were) she took it as a compliment and would loose more.
2007-01-23 03:16:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she lost the weight from stress, it will slowly come back. Just keep an eye on her, and take her out for some good dinners, o suggest that you cook together sometime. I lost a ton of weight from flu recently and got a little touchy about peoples' comments, so try to keep that to a minimum. As long as she continues to eat, she'll be fine. If not, just be there for her. Good luck!
2007-01-23 03:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think just saying it the right way and right time can keep it from being cruel. Questioning her health and worring about her shouldn't upset her, its just showing her you care. Just find that right time, or sit her down, tell her you care and you're worried. And offering to help her and being there for her may help things go over a little smoother.
2007-01-23 03:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by dustbaum 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take her out for dinner a few nights a week to help her put on weight. Don't make a big deal about it if she doesn't eat alot. Tell her you are just worried and hope she can find a way to make work less stressful. Maybe even help her look for a different job that doesn't compromise her health.
2007-01-23 03:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by moobiemuffin 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not cruel, but concern...Because you care.
There is nothing more honorable than a friend looking out for a friend, but one thing I've learn is tactfulness. I am the youngest of 13 and believe me when I say that my old siblings have a rude way of expression, however, my heart tells me that they cared... Share with her why, your concerned, a true friend will consider another friends' sincerity.
Your a good friend, and your question proved that.. =)
2007-01-23 03:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by annalani64 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are in the right to tell her your concerns, maybe not via email.
sit down with her when you can and tell her you would like he to put an a little weight as she looks ill. you might upset her but its better that she knows.
why not suggest you both go away for a week or even weekend and treat her.
tell her you love her(if you do) and really care for her and she does look ill and she could do with putting on weight and if she tells you shes worried about going big, you then tell her that you would prefer her big than skinny and that you will always be there for her and the big weight issue wont affect your relationship
2007-01-23 03:06:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
i have major weight problems and it used to upset me when people told me i am too skinny the best thing to do is make sure she knows you really care for her and think she is beautifull buy her some sexy underwear most girls start to loose weight when they have problems with their body image try taking her out for meals pamper her if it is due to stress this should really help as well i hope this helps please dont think you are cruel you are just showing her you care and she will see that eventually
2007-01-23 03:09:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋