I am 21 and I've been married almost a year. We work really hard to make bills on time and I'm going to school full time. I want to have a baby so bad. But I know babies take alot of time and money which I don't have. It really hurts to see my sisters and my friends having babies one after another when I can only dream of having one at the moment. Are there any other women who feel this way, or been through this any advice or counsel to make me feel better.
2007-01-23 02:58:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are young, but very smart, because you are getting your education so that you can have better opportunities in the future. I know it seems like you are missing out on something special because everyone else around you is either pregnant or caught up in the excitement of a newborn/toddler. However, you should realize that you have something VERY special yourself . . . . and that is TIME and FREEDOM. Time to spend alone with your husband . . . . bonding time, which is very important in the first few years of marriage. The stronger the marriage, the better parents you'll be. Be romantic, take special little outings together and enjoy the freedom that you'll never have again after the kids come along. Make the best of the education you are getting. Your child will someday appreciate what a smart mom he/she has!
Like you, I married young. My husband was almost 19 and I was almost 20. We were still in community college, so we waited until we finished school and got established in our jobs. And then we even spent a couple of years "sowing our wild oats" by going out with friends and doing all the things we enjoyed. By the age of 24, we were more ready to start a family. I think those first few years of marriage gave us more maturity and brought us closer.
By the time your friends and sisters are going through the "terrible twos" with their kids, they will be envying you and thinking how smart you were to have waited. I can tell you will be a great mom, so hang in there and maybe offer to babysit for your sisters from time to time if you really love children.
2007-01-23 03:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you're done with school and have a good job, then you should be thankful that you don't have a child. You just have baby blues b/c you're around them. I have a son and believe me, they are very expensive. You are looking at paying $60 per day for day care, plus food, diapers, formula, clothes. Basically your looking at paying about $2000 per month just on the baby! I know how you feel, I would LOVE to have another baby right now, but seeing how much my son costs, there's no way I can afford 2. Just wait until you are financially situated, and know that you can provide a good life for the baby. This way raising them will be a lot easier when your not stressing so much about $.
2007-01-23 03:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, babies are a lot of money but you have a few options. My husband and I were worried about this too. The funny thing is that the only thing we have bought for the baby thus far is diapers and she is two months old! You will be amazed at the out pouring of gifts that people will give you. If you breast feed ( and believe me its the best way to save money) you don't need to buy the expensive formula. Baby furniture is a lot but you have a lot of different options to buy it from. Some baby furniture is good quality but not that expensive. Some people also go to tag sales for baby items. A lot of articles say its the best way to save money and you dont need all new stuff! Good luck!
2007-01-23 03:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would want to wait til I could financially give a baby everything he or she needs. Sounds like you just starting your life and still getting your goals in line. I didn't have my son til I was 36 ! I think the longer you wait the better.. You're 21..go out and have fun so you don't regret no doing it later. I know alot of people that have kids..and wish they would have waited.
Take the time now to prepare for the arrival of your child, save money, finish school..get your finances ready. Your child needs a stable and secure home.
Hey how about getting a puppy for now to fill the desire ??
2007-01-23 03:11:31 · answer #4 · answered by whatelsewhatever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I had a son who died in an accident at age 2 two years ago. We have not been able to get pregnant again since then and yes it tears us up. I just keep telling myself, "Our time will come again when it's right." A baby is a lot of work and a lot of money. Just think you guys have years and years to have babies. Is it really fair to bring one into a stressful, tight siutation now when you would have to work and so would your husband? You will have your baby, in the meantime spend time wtih your nieces and nephews and friends babies' for the practice. Just be patient, you are still sooooo young and not ready to give a baby the life and attention it deserves. Hang in there!
2007-01-23 03:04:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try taking your sisters and friends babys out on day trips or baby sitting. i think that you are a little too young to have a child. you need to realize it's more important to bring a baby into this world when you can give him and her what they need. if you can't devote time and don't have the money to provide for a child then it would just be selfish to have one. you will have one when the time is right. you should enjoy being young. having a baby when you are not financially stable will put a lot of stress on you and your husband, and if you are already struggling to make the bills it will be that much harder.
2007-01-23 03:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel the way that you do. you go to school full time and you work full time and you want to have a baby and you are behind on bills....but you want to have a baby? do you not understand that babies and children are expensive? do you not understand that once you get pregnant and have this baby that your full time job and full time school will come to a dead halt as you know it? do you not understand that your life will no longer be your own but that it will be of your baby? do you not understand that you will never ever have time to yourself again? do you not understand that all of your resources will go towards raising this child? do you not understand that your time will no longer be yours anymore but of your babies? if you are ready to do all of these things...then by all means...go ahead. if you are not ready to give up your time, your full time job...your school...your freedom...trying to catch up and get ahead of your bills then do the smart thing and use birth control.
2007-01-23 03:05:11 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are still young, and your time will come. Just think, you are working and going to school, so that you can prepare your future to be better. Thank God for what you have, and stop worrying what other people have, and enjoy each moment of the day, One day you may, wish for days, like you have now. I make may self enjoy each day, and I thank God for them. Life is too short not to! Appreciate your day! and have a great day!
2007-01-23 03:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get involve with your nieces and friends babies. but you might wanna wait and get out of school before have a baby. i don't even have a boyfriend but i want to have a baby so bad. but when i think about my life struggles a want to wait. so finish school , get cut up with your bills save money and then you can have a baby. you don't wanna end up on welfare. good luck
2007-01-23 03:16:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's the skinny and my support. You need to get Dave Ramsey's book The Total Money Makeover and read it. It is a guide/advice on getting out of debt and staying out of debt. www.daveramsey.com
Just on what you've told us, I think you need to go to school part-time and work part-time until you get all your bills paid off.
Good Luck
2007-01-23 03:09:51 · answer #10 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋