Mother-in-law help/advice PLEASE?

Question

Sorry if this is long. I posted a question about a month ago about my mother in law on x-mas day she kicked me out of her house, pushed me when I tried taking my daughter with me & then threatened to take my daughter away(through courts although she will never get her because she has a sexual misconduct on her record). Anyway last night she called my husband and told him that I need to forget what happened, get over it and start talking to her. I told my husband that I will not forget, how am I suppose to forget someone kicking me out of their house, pushing me and then threatening to take my child away. My husband told his mother that I am not going to talk to her & he isn't going to make me, so than she said well I better start getting to see my granddaughter every sunday or I will show up at your house at 6 everynight. I agreed to let her take her on sunday feb 4th even though it was against my better judgement. Also she threatened to take us to court again. What would you do?

We live in IL and I am also worried about her taking my daughter and me not getting her back but her husband (who is 31 and she is 55 they got together when he was 17) I don't think would let that he would let that happen.

Answer 1

I would never let her see my child again, until she apologized and proved that she can act like an adult. What is her reasons for acting this way? Why would she kick you out of her house? I am sure there are two sides to this story, but bottom line...Your child, not hers.

If she shows up at your house, tell her to leave and if she refuses, call the police. Have her removed for trespassing. She sounds like a nutcase.

OK I just read your other question from a month ago. Based upon her criminal history, I would not let my child near her.. PERIOD. Let her take you to court, she'll just look like the nut case that she is.

Answer 2

Depends on what state you live in. Should she see her grandchild...maybe. Some states don't recognize grandparents rights. You could take your child and never let her see her and it wouldn't be an issue. BUT, instead, I would tell your husband to take her. He can stay there with the child so that you know that no one is going to take her. They can stay a few hours and then leave. Set up a schedule for like every OTHER Sunday or whatever. I am glad to see that your husband is supporting your choices!! I would move as far as is humanly possible away from this person. Get a P.O. Box so she doesn't have your address when you move. As long as you are a decent parent she can't take your child. Try to stay away from this toxic person!!

Answer 3

Why in the world would you let someone who has a sexual misconduct record be alone your child? I wouldn't let her see the child alone ever! If your husband wants to let her see his daughter at a park or McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese while he is there then I would allow it, otherwise, forget it. She should not have unsupervised visits with her grandchild. She sounds unstable and your daughter needs to be protected. If you don't protect your child, who will? Your husband is right to stand up for you and not allow his mother to treat you this way. You are not required to let her see her granddaughter every Sunday or at all. This is your child and your husband should tell his mother that we will not put up with her behavior and won't allow her to be alone with his child and if this type of behavior continues then he won't allow her to see his daughter until she gets help (counseling). This is going to be hard for your husband, but if he doesn't stand up to her now, she'll be calling the shots and blackmailing you forever. If she shows up at your house, your husband will need to tell her that this isn't a good time for a visit and shut the door. Don't get sucked into a fight. Be direct and assertive. Good Luck!

Answer 4

get a restraining order. Your daughter does not need to be around a menacing woman like that. She is YOUR daughter and YOU make the decisions on her well being. I'm glad your hubby stood up to her in some way by letting her know that you will not be speaking to or forgetting her behavior. What is she going to take you to court for? As long as you and your husband take proper care of your child, grandparents really have no say in anything. I strongly suggest a restraining order so that if this mad woman decided to be a bully you have grounds to have her removed. It's in your and your child's best interest to let the authorities know what's going on before she looses her mind and kidnaps your child or tried to fight with you in front of your child.

You're a grown woman with a child ... don't take BS from anyone. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I would tell your husband that if she doesn't stop all this nonsense that you will get an anti-harassment order against her. I do not know the whole story but I would cut the ties with her. Do things on your own and stand on your own two feet that way she won't be able say or do anything. I was in a situation with another family that wasn't good for me and it took me seven years to leave. I am much better and able to heal after everything they put me through. Sometimes you really can't see clearly until after you have been gone for a while. I have been gone for 1.5 years and I can tell you that I am in shock that I was ever there in the first place. Your child deserves a better life than being surrounded by drama!

Answer 6

I'd call a lawyer and ask to come in for a consultation, ask what your legal rights are and what you can do from a legal standpoint. Does this grandmother have any legal stance to keep making threats. If your mother were to call CAS or something and lie about you, then you'd have previous record at least stating that she's made these threats and her testimony (her lie) wont stand up in court. I'd also be frightened she'd take your daughter for the one night and you go to pick them up and she's taken off with her. If she's going to threaten to take her away, you can't trust she's going to do the right thing. Long story short it sounds to me like she's a little unstable and that it might be time to get a third party involved, just in case... for the safety of your daughter.

Answer 7

Oh, he__ no! I have been in the same situation with my mother in law. You have a good husband if he isn't trying to make you get along with his mother. First of all, you carried that child for nine months and I'm sure is the care giver most of the time. Don't ever forgive someone who treated you that way because when you do she will act that way again. Especially if she thinks that she can act that way and still be apart of you and your childs life. Cut all ties and put your foot down or she will control you. Who does she think she is threatening to take YOUR child. She has no rights in court so go ahead and tell her to get lost and some really good advice, let your husband have a relationship with her but you and your child need to pretend she doen't exist. People like that are a waste of space and need to be knocked down a notch. My sons ex-grandmother hasn't seen or talked to us in 2 years and it has been great!No more threats,nothing. It would be a cold day in he__ before my baby's daddy's momma ever tried taking my child and treating me like crap,especially with a record like that and would ever see me or my child again. And thank God for caller ID, she calls and I hand the phone right to his father and when he goes and sees her, he goes alone. And no, she can't come to my house,she lost that priveledge when she disrespected me. Your child will truly be the one to pay in the end if you let her have anything to do with that whole situation.

Answer 8

She sounds like a nutbag. I'd stay away from her. If she doesn't get to see her granddaughter, it's her own fault. She should know better than to act that way. She may run off with your kid; I wouldn't allow her to see the child. Your first priority is your daughter's safety, not your crazy mother-in-law's feelings. Good for your husband for supporting you in this! If she does show up at your house at 6 like she said, just lock the door. And if she makes a scene, call the cops.

Answer 9

mother in laws can be a pain I have one myself who did not want me to get pregnant because she said children are hard to take care of she raised my husband on her own. In fact she wanted my husband to get sterilized and we both told her no its are choice not hers. now that I'm 36 weeks pg shes all happy and is telling us were going to be good parents. But on the other hand i can understand where she is coming from my husband and I both have a ld so it may be hard but we can learn and are ld is not a serve one. The best way to handle your mother in law is what someone else has said sent the ground rules. But my question in why did she throw you out that does not sound right nor does it sound like someone I want to leave my child with for a while. why would she want to take you to court just because she can't see her grandchild or is another reason. If its because she cant her her grandchild then that will not hold up in court and especially when she has that sexual misconduct on her record.

Answer 10

I don't know a lot about the Grandparent's Right thing but I do know that it only says that they get to see them, not that you have to allow the grandparent to take the child anywhere.
Why put up with this... if your husband wants his mother to see this child let him take her over to visit. I would not allow her there without either your or his supervision.
Your responsibility is to your daughter and her well being if Grandma is a threat then limit the contact.
If she shows up uninvited ask her to leave, call the cops, charge her with trespassing or disturbing the peace or whatever. If she has struck you...get a restraining order.