I know the answer but am unable to act.I am in a long term rely.,and love her,immensely, but not romanticly anymore. She has not been very sexual towards me at all in at least a year (conservative). I love sex and the female form so that major part of the rely. has made me want be out there single again. She really could take or leave sex and probably would prefer to leave it (at least indifferent). We were much more physical before and in retrospect that was just for me.I feel like we are room mates now. We have been together almost ten years, and she is definitely my best friend.I have hinted that we are growing apart and I want to be single, but she freaks.I almost want to martyr myself to avoid hurting her,but I wont. I want out, and hopefully remain friends.I just know she will be a wreck,and I hate the thought.But my life is the only one I get.I wish there was an easy way. I daydreamed about hiring a hot guy to get her to cheat, but neither of us is that type.Help?
2007-01-23 02:10:46 · 10 answers · asked by Mike Oxard 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to her! Tell her how you feel, be honest.
2007-01-23 02:20:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any chance that the two of you can start couples therapy. It seems like it may be the only way that you can get her to talk about things. Do you know why she is indifferent to sex? Is there any chance that there could be someone else in her life? Not that I think that she is cheating but it sounds like you two have moved apart and she isn't quite ready to give you up completely. I would try being honest with her no matter how much it hurts her tell her how you feel and that if she wants to stay with you that things would have to change back to the way there were a couple of years ago, cause you feel that you guys have grown so far apart it is not worth ruining your friend ship over but you need out.
2007-01-23 02:17:50 · answer #2 · answered by freyja5683 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that you deserve to be in a healthy relationship, sex is an intergral part of any realtionship. You have to choices you can explore her lack of desire maybe its medical or hurt from her past. or you can walk away because you are lacking. At the end of the day its the only life we have, be honest to her because she clearly deserves that, and make a mutual decision. tell her how unhappy you are, and that you want more in a realtionship. I wish you well
2007-01-23 02:17:29 · answer #3 · answered by leo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand and feel your pain.
This is brutal. You need to do that. She's going to freak out. But it sounds like you really need to let go of the relationship.
Wow...this is not going to be easy, but no, you shouldn't sacrifice your own happiness for hers. Its awesome that you would even consider it.
Sure, she's going to be devastated. And then she will heal. And then she will learn.
I think you would be doing both of you guys a disservice. Make arrangements to go your way....break it with her as gently as a 10 year relationship affords and commit to doing it.
Its like a band-aid over a wound...sometimes you just have to rip it off...feel the pain...and get on with the healing.
I am sorry things didn't work out. Good Luck to the both of you.
2007-01-23 02:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by Bathroom Graffiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change, (especially over a period such as 10 years!) You girlfriend needs to understand that. I would try and talk it through to her, tell her about your feelings.
The truth will always come out eventually, and I think its better to be honest with her. If she is your best friend as you say, surly she will understand that your not happy in a relationship with her?
2007-01-23 02:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by Charlotte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, think about what you really want. Ten years is a long time to toss away. Perhaps a sit-down, face-to -face straight from the heart talk would help.
Don't play any kind of games with her. Hiring someone? Please. That's really not good.
If you really believe she is your best friend, treat her as such.
And, although you may not want to think about this, a wife, if she is your best friend, would be the best wife any one could get.
2007-01-23 02:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not happy without the physical part of you relationship(and I see your point) then talk to her and possibly go your separate ways. If your relationship is not making you happy, then leave.
2007-01-23 02:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by Winnipeg76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though you are not married, have you considered counseling? Or maybe even tell her exactly what you told us, who knows maybe since you are best friends she will be glad to get it out and discussed. Good Luck
2007-01-23 02:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by ladydaisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get out and go.. pack your bag and say this is it.
2007-01-23 02:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are such a guy
2007-01-23 02:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by spawnof_thedevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋