I don’t usually do this but ever since I started reading Yahoo Answers, there’s been some pretty interesting questions answered by interesting people with different opinions. And it made me wonder how you guys will react to my situation and what advice can you give me. I’m not good in writing nor English so please bear with me, but here goes my story………
I’m 25 yrs. old and I just had a healthy and beautiful son. I live with my boyfriend and all seems to be ok between us. We don’t fight often and we always come to understanding and compromise each other. I trust him so much with all my heart and I feel like I’m the luckiest girl there is because he treats me with respect and he is a good guy. Until I found out that he had a Yahoo personal. I confronted him about this and he denied sending messages to girls online and exchanging flirtatious emails with them. I asked him when he had created his profile and he told me that he had it a little bit before he met me. Then I started to doubt him, I was able to get his password and I logged on to his yahoo personal account . I didn’t mean to invade his privacy, I just wanted to see if my hunches were true. And so it was, he had been sending ice breakers to all the girls he think is cute and been sending messages how he would like to meet up with them and stuff like that. And he has been exchanging a couple of emails from this girl and he seems kind of flirting with her. He makes it sound like he is single and doesn’t have a girlfriend who loves him so much and a beautiful son who we just had 3 months ago. And what mad me feel betrayed is that he subscribed to Y’Personal a few days after our son was born! I was frustrated and hurt and betrayed and confused why he did it. And it all made sense to me now how we talked about how we feel after our son was born and he told me that he was confused about everything. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t let out all his feelings. Now I know why he had said that he was confused because he was in contact with somebody online and he was probably trying to see if there might something more to it and lead to something else. But when I confronted him about it a few months later (before I knew his password) I asked him to stop logging on to it anymore since he doesn’t need it anymore. And so he did, but all those times he didn’t change neither his attitude towards me nor how he treats me. So little I know that he was doing something else behind my back. He has been doing this for the whole year since he signed up for it and he was already with me although he denies and said he had it before me. But now I know the whole truth and what he was hiding from me. I don’t know if it was just an act for him because he told me that those kind of sites aren’t real although I explained to him that if you subscribed to it, you are serious in meeting someone or you wouldn’t waste your money on it. But he already did!! And now I’m keeping this in me and I cant confront him because I don’t want him to get mad that I invaded his privacy. I fully trusted him but now half of it is gone because he made me believe in his lies. And what makes it difficult for us to stay apart is that we have nothing to argue about and we don’t fight at all!!!! And of course, I love him for how he is and for being a good father to our son. Do you think I should just let it go and give him a chance? He hasn’t told me he loves me out loud and we’ve been together for 2 years now. Although he writes it in his card for me, but should I start opening up the topic about it too? I’m just confused right now, or maybe I’ m just worried over nothing. What do you think?
2007-01-23 02:05:01 · 15 answers · asked by Dj_SouL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he has stopped doing it. You need to forgive it and move on. Remember your life is no longer about you and him. You guys have to live for that child. If you bring it up it will cause a lot of problems because lying is one thing but invading one privacy eliminates more trust. If you want to hear him say those 3 little words out loud tell him you want to hear him say it. If he Loves you he will tell. Try to give him a little more attention, guys crave attention and alot of times when women are pregnant they forget they still have to pay attention to their man. Trust me. He was probably just looking for attention regardless who or where it came from. Good luck.
2007-01-23 02:16:52 · answer #1 · answered by drockfreak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your situation. As if having a child isn't enough on your shoulders he has the audacity to think about cheating on you! That's essentially what he was doing. And yes you CAN confront him. Wouldn't you want to get this issue resolved rather then biting your tongue and finding out a couple of years down the road that neither one of you is happy and you wasted each others time because you too afraid of how he's going to feel if you were to confront him. If you can't talk to each other straight now it's not going to get easier later.
2007-01-23 02:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by Ana M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stop being nice, admit to him that you snooped and demand an exlplanation to all this. He's lying to you and that has to hurt. The fact that he started the add right after your baby was born is quite telling, and he can't deny that truth. The line about those sites not being real is a bald faced lie. If that's what he believed, then why is he paying for it then?
By the way, your english is very good dear, good luck.
Bagpuss, that is a great idea!
2007-01-23 02:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this is happening, a similar thing happened to me last year. I then found out he was cheating on me, although i dont want to worry you as its probably nothing as serious as that. Personally i think he might just be a bit lost in life and looking for fun which hes probably getting through the internet by talking to people he doesnt know, and opening up to them. i know it sounds stupid but a lot of people i know have done it for that reason. I think you should bring up the subject again and talk to him properly about your relationship and how he feels etc, as although it was probably harmless chat and he doesnt want you to see it as serious, you still need to find out the truth. Theres not a lot you can really do to stop him but im sure with a good heart to heart you should be able to sort it out, and its you hes with not the girls he chats to so im sure things will work out for you both. sorry im not much help but i really hope you can sort it out
2007-01-23 02:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by * Mummy to 2 Girls * 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, long one! Lies are never good in a relationship! One usually leads to another, and another, and another. Does the Yahoo personals give a date that he signed up? If it does, then ask him to sign into the account in front of you. If he doesn't want to, then he's still up to no good either there, or somewhere else. If he signs into it, you will be able to point out his sign up date and confront him more and see what he has to say for himself. If he continues to give you more lies, and trust is important to you, run for the hills! Good Luck!!!!
2007-01-23 02:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by justanotherday 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you have a right to be worried. you have been with him for 2 yrs, you have a baby with him but he will not say he loves you. and to top it off he subscribed to yahoo personals. people who subscribe to personals are looking for something. i definately think this guy is up to something. you should confront him about this. and you must tell him how you feel. i am not saying you should leave him but ya'll really need to talk about it and you need to find out why he does things like this to you. g'luck
2007-01-23 02:14:52 · answer #6 · answered by S 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a child together and he won't tell you that he loves you? Forget about confronting him - just leave him, and you can give a judge all the facts about his secret life when you sue him for child support.
2007-01-23 02:19:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ali 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to catch him at it. Sign up for an account yourself and find him if you know his user name and flirt your little socks off. Then once you have him by your baited hook then leave a note for him in his pocket/lunch box/ wherever and sign it with your user name. I think he will know when he has been beaten. Good Luck
2007-01-23 02:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that the two of you need to have a serious conversation. About feelings, and love and trust..
2007-01-23 02:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL I DONT NOW WHY YOUR WITH THAT FOOL CAUSE IF HE CHEATING ON YOU AND AFTER TO YEARS OF GOING OUT AND LIVING TOGTHER AND HASNT EVEN TYOLD YOU HE LOVES YOU WELL HOINEY ALL GOT SAY GOD YOU HELP YOU COULD GO OUT WITH A GUY FOR LIKE 5 YEAR AND STILL WOUNLD SAY I LOVE MY GOD I THING IN SOME CASE LIKE THIS 1ITS UP TO YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO DO YOU GO TO LIVE IT WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
2007-01-23 02:12:45 · answer #10 · answered by lacey g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋