My boyfriend has this nasty little habit of telling other girls he "loves" them?

Question

We've been together 7 months, and he tells all of his friends that are female "love you!" or "muah" or "hey beautiful" or "how's my true love doing?"..... I've confronted him about this and he says that he doesn't love them the same way he loves me (yeah well I hope not!) but still I don't think that it is appropriate for him to say things like this to other women.... what do yall think?

Answer 1

Specifically, I think he's pathetic (sorry!).

I don't understand the point of speaking to all of these women this way, unless he's just so pathetically desperate for validation from women that he's willing to say all of these ridiculously sugary things to them to obtain a positive response to stoke his ego.

If somebody else's bf spoke to me this way, I'd put a stop to it by giving him a resoundlingly negative response (eye rolling, and if that didn't work, something more direct). Insincerity does **nothing** for me!

Answer 2

Well... What concerns me is the "hair pulling" and "Daddy is going to give it to you now". The proper term of what's going on now is called "S&M". Slave /Master or it can mean something worse, Sadist / Masochist. That can be painful in more ways than one. How does he treat you out of the bedroom? It would be helpful if there are no barriers in the way that could hinder your ability to have a honest talk with him about this ...and what you're comfortable with & what you're not. and that would be the "Daddy" thing. I'm hoping this is just a "Bedroom Thing" and it doesn't become an abusive situation outside of the bedroom. I would suggest having a talk with him, outside of the bedroom with what is bothering you. It could be just a game that's being kept only in the bedroom. Talking with him about this would clear up any mis-communication & will also let you know if it's going to get rougher. If it's only a "Bedroom Thing" then you can lay down the boundaries on just how far you'll allow it to go. I hope I've helped.

Answer 3

We had a discussion about Love this weekend and concluded that it has been misused and misunderstood over the years. Love is an emotion that has the ability to evoke a number of feelings that lead to different actions (some seemingly negative). Parents that dearly love a wayward child might opt to shop him (gender not intended as male but both male and female) to the authorities for his own good or cover for him to the point of taking blame. Both parties insist it's out of love but not everybody sees it that way. The "shopped" child ends up reforming and the other one ends up in real bad trouble - vice versa. How do you then determine who has loved in such a situation? Perhaps you should ask your boyfriend to translate his understanding of love. We concluded that a person is capable of loving everybody irrespective of gender and the difference that takes us to an intimate level with an individual is a combination of this love with an element of lust. Does he lust after other girls or love them as he would a male friend? That, I think, is the question.

Answer 4

First things first. You girl friend need to start feeling better about your self. Have you taken the time to think that it's just his personality. I bet that was one of he things that got you to together in the first place. He's a flirt, and if that's all he is than get over it or you'll drive yourself crasy. He's probably an Itailain from New York or he was raised With out a dad, and his mother was a big influence in his younger years.

Answer 5

He obviously has a different idea of what "love" really is and it's probably true that he loves you in a different way than all those other females.

Be a little cautious but don't give up too easily. My daughter was the same way with all her male friends, but she married at 19, now has two beautiful children and is very happy (and faithful) with her husband of 4 years now.

Answer 6

I think that he has done it so much that he's gotten into the habit of saying those things to other women. It may be innocent enough but it's also a way to prospect for other possibilities should anything happen between the two of you. You are right it is inappropriate of him to do this and it's going to be hard to break him of it.

I just thought of a harsh way to help break him of this.

If by chance you are friends with one of the other girls/women talk to her and have her react to his little sayings right in front of you. Get her to come on to him in a most loving way and you just stand back watching with a mad look on your face. He should get enough shock from that to curb it but you'll have the upper hand on any situation after that.

Answer 7

I would say he is different from the norm but different isn't always bad. So, as long as he doesn't act inappropriately with others he says he loves I wouldn't be concerned. There is nothing wrong with verbalizing your love of mankind to others. There are different ways to love people. Parent to child, husband to wife, brother to brother, niece to aunt, friend to friend, etc.... really is it wrong to tell them in words?
Is there something wrong with making others feel good about themselves? I think he is being very kind and sweet to these other girls and you should be happy to have a caring person for your boy friend.

Answer 8

He sounds like a dog. If he is going around tellin' other women that he loves them then there is no tellin' what else he is doing when you are not around. Don't set yourself up to get played. Confront him again and make damn well he understands you b/c if he don't then your relationship will go to hell. If my man ever did that he would have to make a choice either me or him tellin' those "other" women that he loves them! And if he really loves you then he will choose you and he doesn't choose you then he doesn't care about you as much as he makes you think.

Answer 9

Be secure in yourself. Tell him you understand about using terms of endearment such as "love ya, or hey beautiful," but those words should be saved for the one he loves. Tell him if saying these things to his female friends means more to him then being respectful to you then you may have to reevaluate your relationship as evaluates his priorities.

Answer 10

He sounds gay. I'm not trying to sound mean or anything but that truly might be the case.

You should pay attention to the way he says "i love you" to you and to other people. Is it different? It should be. If they sound the same than I think you need to start thinking about leaving him. He will not change himself. You have to find out if you could see yourself dealing with that for the rest of your life.