I need some advice for my relationship?

Question

Im 18 and Im going out with a 14 year old, is it wrong?
i really do love her and she loves me but her father is very strict about it so sometimes she has to sneak out or make up somethin like going out with friends or somethin lik that. What should i do?

Answer 1

i think its ok just help her dad out on somethings like housework or outside work.. and show him that u are a hard worker and he will see that u can take care of his daughter.. there are all kinds of aged relationships all around i will say ive heard of a worse age difference.

Answer 2

Everyone has warned you off her because she is too young, and I concur with this. However, I would like to add something else. This young girl has feelings and I think she is going to be very hurt indeed when you finish with her on grounds of her age, but the longer you leave this, the harder it will become.

You will also in a sense 'spoil' her for other guys of her own age for she will always be comparing them to you. A 14 year old boy will never compare favourably to an 18 year old man. And, as another poster said, there is the very real possibility that since she has become estranged from her strict father, she will transfer her feelings for him on to you, and you will find yourself taking on the role of responsible father-figure. Are you really ready for that, at 18? I thought not. You should be enjoying life with guys your own age, going for a pint, meeting girls at a nightclub, generally having a laugh. So, I will not accuse you of anything illegal or underhand (you did not say you were having a sexual relationship, after all) but I will say that if I were your parent, I would be concerned for your happiness and wellbeing as much as the girls' father is for hers.

Tell her you will be there for her but that going out as a couple will not work at the moment. She will be upset but you know it has to be done (or you would not have asked the question). Good luck.

Answer 3

You should back off a bit; the relationship is starting off in a very bad way if she is lying to her parents and sneaking out to be with you. You should respect her and her parents. Try being just friends; you can still hang out together and have fun, but you don't want to alienate her parents or come between her and her parents. If you do that, they will never want you to be involved with her or their family. Also, there is a big difference between a 14 year old and an 18 year old (emotionally that is). She is still a child, and you are on your way to being an adult. Give it time. If it's meant to be, things will work out for you. Don't rush into it. You are both very young and have your whole lives ahead of you.

Answer 4

I'm still surprised that the dad knows you two are going out. And I can understand why he's strick (doesn't seem that strict to me cause he knows u two are together) I think @ this present time the age is really a big difference. Even though u 2 are 4 years apart it doesn't seem like much, but maybe if she was a bit older then I think you 2 would be just fine. I honestly think she's to young for u @ this time. Maybe you should be friends until she gets older..I'd say 16 for the most. Good luck with that....

Answer 5

Well to be honest, it is illegal. But at the same time if you both were older like say in your 20s or 30s or hey even older, no one would say a thing. Its just because of the whole thing about hormones raging and the possibility of sex at a young age. Which, in respect for her father, I hope you haven't gone that far. But if you love her and she loves you then you will be respectful of eachother and your families and take things really slow. Her dad will come around if you can prove that you're responsible enough to take care of his "little girl." The whole sneaking out thing will bite you in the butt if you get caught. But if you love her so much then you will wait until her dad can trust you together. If you can't handle that then maybe she's just too young. Either way if its meant to be then it will be.

Answer 6

I dont mean 2 sound dodogey but what the hek does a 18yr old man want with a 14yr old girl!!!! Usually the age difference doesnt matter but when your talkin about someone under the age of 16 well it does get a little rong!!! If you love her then far enough, u cant help who u full for but be very carefull u dont rush her into nythin shes not ready for.. i can understand how her dad must feel, hes only pretacting his little girl and at the end of the day thats all she is... Maybe take time 2 spend time with her family, go round for tea and help with her studying.. Let the dad no your a nice guy and let him no how much she means 2 you....
Good look xxx

Answer 7

Yes, it's wrong. Very wrong. She's a child. Find a girl you're own age.

Wouldn't you rather go out with someone who you could take to the pub with you, or to an 18 (or 15 even!!) certificate film?? Why would you want to be with a female who has not matured or developed into a woman?

There is something very wrong with a man who wants to sleep with an undeveloped female. Also, it's illeagal, and you'd be put in prison and on the sex offenders register if you were reported.

I don't blame her dad for being unhappy about it. I don't think he's being stict either. He's just trying to stop a man abusing his daughter. I think that's perfectly normal.

I think you should finish with her and act like a real man.

Answer 8

There are many angles to look at this situation from but the main ones I think you should look at are...
1, Put yourself in her fathers shoes, would you be happy if your 14yr old daughter was dating an 18yr old guy?? I'm guessing not and we all know why
2, You obviously feel that this relationship is wrong because you've asked the internet world for their opinions
3, The age gap - now where as 4yrs isn't that much... it is when you're a child. The poor girl is going through puberty, she may think she's ready for a serious relationship but she's soooo far from ready.

I don't doubt for one second that you care for this girl but if you cared enough you'd walk away - it's wrong, she's too young.

Adults shouldn't date children, do the right thing - walk away.

Answer 9

It depends on what you mean by 'going out'. If it's a sexual relationship, you're asking for trouble my friend - it's very young for her handle the emotional stuff, and you could expect the Police to get involved if she tells someone and it gets back to her parents. Also consider possible pregnancy. Can you go out with her for another two years as just close friends? The deception part doesn't sound very satisfactory. Her parents will likely ground her if they do catch her meeting you. Even if you convince them there's nothing illegal, they're unlikely to agree to you seeing her, not at 14.

My advice is to let her down gently and get yourself a girlfriend who's much nearer your own age. Then if you both want to take it further you won't have the law to worry about and she should be more emotionally ready for such a commitment.

Answer 10

Been there, done that...I was the 14 year old. Legally, yes, it's probably wrong. If you have any type of physical relationship, check the child abuse/statutory rape laws in your state. Even if she consents, she's probably not legally old enough to consent, and you could be branded as a sex offender, which will last far longer than your relationship probably will. Ethically and morally, it depends on your situation, her maturity, etc. The best thing you can do is not sneak around, let her parents get to know you, and delay a physical relationship for awhile. Good luck!

Answer 11

You are treading in dangerous waters. If you are not sexually active, you don't have any concerns other than her father being strict. If you are sexually active, you could go to jail if she ends up pregnant. If you are 18 and you feel that you have to date the 14 year old...I suggest being safe and double dating. Honestly, do you feel the same way you did about things when you were 14? She is still very young. Be careful!