I have only slept with one person and that was my ex fiance who i was with for 6 years. i ended the relationship 8 months ago for a number of reasons.
i am now going out and having fun.
this may sound silly, but im too scared to get intimate with any other guy as ive only been with my ex. its not that i dont want too but its cause ive only been with one guy.
what can i do to get over this??
2007-01-23 01:41:10 · 24 answers · asked by XCuteX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you mean you're afraid to have sex with another man or you're afraid to be in a close relationship with another man? It's okay to be scared, but unless you want to live your life alone, you're going to have to propel yourself back into the game. There's no easy way to go about it, so just do it!
2007-01-23 01:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by Creampoof737 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're silly at all. When you meet the right person it wont feel so intimidating. If you get to know the person as a friend first and establish trust and if that exists you can confide in them about your concerns and if their right for you, they'll understand. Most men are painted a sex mad - but a lot of my male friends aren't like that, willing to wait for the right time etc. I don't think you have anything to get over, you just need to give yourself time and not make this into a big issue in your head because otherwise you could end up pushing someone away who could potentially make you happy. When you have that special connection with someone holding hands, or a kiss and cuddle can be just as nice, until you're ready to take the next step - and the right person, wont pressure you - my advice - friendship first.
2007-01-23 09:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well good for you for getting out there again, you may not be over your ex fiance, they say it takes half the time of being with them to get over them. Its the time to go out with your friends and just chat to men, get back in the swing of conversation with them. Dont let that you have only slept with one person be an issue, its a rare thing and something to be proud of. Good luck! When your ready to be intimate with another guy you will be just dont push yourself. If hes a decent guy he will respect that.
2007-01-23 09:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by loubag1981x 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hun whether youve only been with one or one hundred guys - you'll always feel this way! Basically youre getting naked and intimate with someone - and thats scarey for the first few times!!!
Have a few drinks to loosen up your inhibitions - do NOT get drunk though!
Just tell yourself that hes probably feeling the exact same way as you are - and in a way theres more pressure on him as he has to "perform" where as we can fake it!
Remember - you obviously like this person to say you're doing the deed with him - try and get into it - enjoy it - and ill bet in no time you'll be so wrapped up in the moment all your fears will be gone
Good luck - and ENJOY
xx
2007-01-23 10:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not silly. its like your still a virgin and the first time with another is gonna mean something. just remember how you felt the first time you slept with your ex-fiance. just go for it(but make sure its with a worthwhile guy, not sum one-night-stand) and although you will be nervous, it will be an amazing nervous, and adrenaline will kick in, and you'll feel relieved at how well it went lol
you'll be fine, just make sure that when you do sleep with someone else its with a decent guy, or you will regret it
also the longer you wait, the harder it will be, so take your time but not tooo long. good luck hun!
2007-01-23 09:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by chatterbox15 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are exclusive with someone you develop a bond of intimacy. When they are the first person you have sex with you will always have that bond. For lack of a better term Pretty, you need to get laid! I know that sounds like a guys solution but if it has been 8 months! You are only missing out on starting a new relationship with someone! You have to break the sex bond! the bond of him being your first will always be there. Get on with your life.
2007-01-23 09:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by dfgrace22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just start off with someone slow.
if you meat someone you like and exchange numbers then arrange to go bowling or something fun for a few dates and see how it goes, if you like him go for it.
i know what you mean. ive slept with a good few blokes but i cant help thinking that if my husband leaves me, i wouldnt look at another man.
it is hard but life goes on and you have to go out there and make the most of your life. if your shy or dont think yuo can do it, then why not invite your mates out with this bloke and ask him to invite a few mates and then all go out and get to know eachother. it isnt really a date then and is ok.
2007-01-23 09:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time; if your feelings for the new guy grow, then you can worry about a sexual relationship at that time. What you're going through is normal, so don't stress over it. You'll be able to have a healthy sexual relationship when the time is right for you. Best of luck!
2007-01-23 09:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by grandm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are not emotionally ready to be sexually active with someone else. I wouldn't go that far yet, especially if it's not someone special because chances are you will wake up the next morning with a bad regret.
You should be proud of yourself. So many people sleep around these days, you are one in a few. Plus that good guy out there that you have yet to find will respect you more if you aren't sleeping around.
2007-01-23 09:46:07 · answer #9 · answered by Kamryn's Mommie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if really u are having affectionate feelings for him just check him very well if he doesnot develope that attitude that makes u to depart from the ex one then u can accept that relationship,do not let what happen to repeat itself again; look befpre u leap to avoid heart break again. Best of luck.
2007-01-23 09:51:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋