im taking me ex back after he left me after 3 yrs together, we been apart for almost 2 mnths and has said he made a terrible mistake and wants me back, i worshiped him wen we were together but im confused beacuse i know i want to be with him, and it would kill me to see him with someone else, but i cant help feeling as tho im making a mistake and everytime i see him and he dont say something lovini feel he aint trying hard enough and makes me feel i should forget the whole thing, but i cant because i want to be with him. how do you decide what is what i really feel??
2007-01-23 01:14:05 · 25 answers · asked by sweetness 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've been hurt, and you're wary. Nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with taking someone back who realised what a big mistake they made. BUT and it's a big but, there is no excuse for thinking that just because you said yes, it doesn't mean it never happened, and that they can carry on as before.
What you should do is discuss it, with the tone of the conversation being "I think I've made a mistake by taking you back" and then the ball is in his court to prove how serious he is.
He is taking you for granted when he should be making up for walking out in the first place, make him jump some hoops!
2007-01-23 01:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to that feeling that says you're making a mistake, because it's right. He left you, he says he made a mistake, but he's not trying to do anything to show you that he really cares about you, he's making no effort to make up for hurting you, because he knows how much you worshipped him when you were together, so he feels like you're always going to be there, no matter what he does.
You deserve better, you deserve someone who will worship YOU for a change, someone who will give to you, and the relationship, as much as you you give to him.
You were with this guy for 3 years, and he walked away, now, his words are saying he wants you back, but his actions are telling you something different.
Go with your instincts, and your instincts are telling you taking him back is a mistake, find a guy who will love you and want you as much as you want him.
2007-01-23 01:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by Angeleyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how you feel! I was with this guy for 3 years also that I loved with all my heart, we were even engaged! We broke up and then a couple months later I found this guy that I have been with for 3 year also now and we are getting married in June. I realized even though i still had feelings for him it wasn't enough to stay with him cause he changed! I jsut didn't want to see him with any one else. I was just being selfish, and now I couldn't be happier! Maybe if you feel that you are making a mistake step back and see if this is what you really want or if you just don't want to see him with anyone else!!
2007-01-23 01:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he really cared about you he would show it, and be going to great lengths to get you back in his life. Ask yourself why you split up. Was it mutual? From what you said, it sounds like he ditched you.. why? If you feel its right, and any barriers can be overcome, then fair play to you. However you need to be sure you will both be happy together, otherwise you could be lining yourself up for a lot more pain in the long run. If this is the case, I would leave it and move on.
2007-01-23 01:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he has just gone through is the old "you dont know what you have got till its gone" and he obviously realised that when he left you, thinking he wanted the single life or whatever.
Your problem now is that you dont trust him and you dont feel that the relationship is as strong as it was, it will take time for you to regain that security in him and he will have to work hard to make sure that happens.
Give him a few months see how it goes, if you still feel the same way have a good long chat and decide what you both want to do. good luck x
2007-01-23 01:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want to be with him and maybe it will work but it will only work if you can forget the reason why you broke up in the first place. You can't keep bringing it up in the future, what is done is done so start again. Also, he needs to prove you are who he wants and show this to you daily.
2007-01-23 01:27:52 · answer #6 · answered by clairelou_lane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your instincts are telling you that it's a mistake then it probably is. If nothing else, why don't you try waiting awhile before getting back together seriously... try to be friends first for a while instead. Good luck.
2007-01-23 01:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by doggiemom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probalby a mistake. You don't trust him,
and why should you.
Something real similar happened to me. I took him back, but he had to prove to me that he was sincere. He was able to prove it to me.
In most cases, I would say, don't get burned twice.
In my case it has been wonderful. Now, the only thing that will separate us is death.
He needs to work to prove to you he can be trusted. If he is willing to respect you, and work to keep you, then fine. Otherwise, let him go. You deserve to be with someone who respects you, and wants to be with you, and knows it.
He deserves to have someone who he can give his whole heart to. It might be you and it might not.
Good luck, honey.
2007-01-23 02:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how your feeling i was feeling like that for a long time, but he walked out of your life for 2 months knowing that it would hurt you, maybe he truly is sorry and forgot what his missing out on or may be he just back to keep hurting you,
you should be with some one who whats to
someone who will have alot of respect 4 u
someone you can turst
someone you dont having to keep worrying about
someone who will love you as much as you will love them
but follow your heart if its meant to be its meant to be but if you do take him back and he dose it again move on with your live other wise he`ll keep hurting you time and time again hope i helped you out
good luck Hun,
2007-01-23 01:42:07 · answer #9 · answered by laura m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait a while before accepting him back. Make him want to cherish you back. If he really loves you, he'll work to make you his again. Put yourself in control of your relationships, and make sure he is worthy, and will treat you with respect before you take him back. Great relationships take lots of time. So let him sweet talk you a while, then take him back if he treats you the way you want him to.
2007-01-23 01:30:15 · answer #10 · answered by Arya T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋