My son is 8 years old and he has a teddy bear that he has had since he was an infant. He has gone through alot with this bear. My husband and I have done everything we could think of to get rid of him. The bear is shredding and cannot be sewn up anymore. Last year I placed him on a pillow case to help but now he is just tearing up like paper. I told him this morning we could go to build a bear and he could get another special friend and we could stuff his old bear inside so it's the same bear just with some cosmeticsurgery. He began to cry saying it will not be the same, he will not smell the same. He loves this thing so much but we think it's time to give it up or replace it. Oh there is noone who makes this bear we have looked everywhere. If anyone has any ideas what we could do?????
2007-01-23 00:54:35 · 28 answers · asked by laladjd 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
ok we have done all that you have said the bear presay does not bother us. What bothers us is he takes it everywhere people say things about him and he gets upset but will not leave it. It has no stuffing left, it is shredds. I understand what you guys are saying about leave it be, but if you could only see it. I have to wash it every few days because it smells.
2007-01-23 03:21:56 · update #1
I'll tell you what my parent's did about me and my blanket. I went to stay with my Grandma for the weekend when I was about 7 or 8 and my Grandma had always said one of these day's she was going to take that blanket from me. Well when we left that weekend my parent's "forgot" the blanket at Grandma's. I never saw it again until I got my baby stuff from my parents when I had my daughter! I got a pretty good laugh out of it because I had always blamed my Grandma and thought she had taken it from me when the whole time my parents had it in the attic. I just got over it and had a teddy bear that I slept with for a while after that.
Now what I did with my daughter and the blanket (same one that I carried around when I was little) was sent her to Papa's house and forgot to send the blanket with her there. When she came home I just told her I couldn't find it after about a week she completely forgot about it. She's only 5 but I had to take it from her when she was 4 because it was coming apart and it was so special (since it was 20 something years old) that I couldn't let it get torn up. Your son and you will both get through this I know it's hard to give up something that you love but he'll be okay.
2007-01-23 03:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by jenpoesavon 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
To help get rid of the smell I would suggest patching up the bear as best you can, place him in a pillow case and knot the case closed. Put him in the washing machine, use one of the tide detergents that have febreeze in them. If you think the bear can stand it, wash it in hot water. For your fabric rinse use downy with febreeze in it. Make sure to put him in the dryer in the pillow case still and dry it until you are sure that the inside of him is dry as well. My puppy has a stuffed bear that's become his best friend and this is the ONLY way I can get the stink out of him. He carries this bear with him everywhere too and sleeps with him night and day.
This is obviously his security and you don't want to damage that. I would come to an agreement with him that you will let him keep his bear, but that the bear is to stay in the house. If he wants to keep him in good condition then he needs to start leaving him home.
I understand how you feel and would probably feel the same if it was my youngest son...he just turned 9 today. But at the same time you have to realize how he feels. If he's not ready, then he's not...regardless of what other people have to say about it.
Just think...when he's 16 bringing girls home you have a wonderfully embarrassing story to tell =P
Best of luck to you!!!
2007-01-23 04:00:57 · answer #2 · answered by skyblueme 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi. I have 4 kids, 3 girls and a baby boy. My oldest daughter who is now 15 had a teddy bear that she had had since about age 1 1/2 yrs . Same as you it had big holes around the neck where material was worn away from her loving it too much... I can tell you what the answer is to this question and how we handled the same thing you are going through but this opened up all new problems.....After years of fixing this bear....I actually sewed part of a bear rug onto the bear to give him new life until one day we decided to get a family dog. We got a Sheltie (miniature collie) and my oldest daughter decided she would sleep with the puppy , which at the time the pup was howling all night long in the crate we had for her so we let her sleep with the pup. About a month or two later the dog had grown very attached to my oldest and missed her when she went off to 1st grade and the teddy bear smelled like my daughter and the dog tore it apart.....She cried and cried when she got home and I explained why the dog did this...It was not trying to be mean but missed her and teddy had her smell on it.....This happened about 3 times. The dog would make a B Line straight for teddy and by this time I had decided maybe this dog was jelous of the teddy bear who slept next to my daughter, and with the growing size of the dog it had to sleep on the floor now...Anyways the dog ripped the teddy to shreds beyond repair and my daughter just grew strong and put it in the trash one day after a good shredding and told me later that day with a lot of courage on her face...I told her how proud of her I was and was sorry for what the dog had done.and she said its okay....I like Ripley (the dog) more now and she is real.......Then she said "I guess dogs and teddies dont get along so one of them had to go" lol
I did go to Build a Bear and buy her a new one though...but it never "took" and I was kind of glad.
2007-01-23 01:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny T 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is not too unnatural for an instance like this to happen. Some kids are just more...attached to those kinds of things more than others would be. At the age of 8, however, i do understand your concern that he should act like a normal 8 yo and get rid of it.
Talk to your son and persuade him to get it fixed up a little. Then tell him, and you'll probably agree with me, to put it away for a little while. Explain to him that if he takes care of it, when he gets older and has a kid. He can give it to them and that way the two of them can enjoy it as father and child. Hopefully, if put that way, he will go ahead and agree with you to put it away for a while.
If that last suggestion doesn't plan out correctly and the way you want, don't get mad just simply change your idea. You can get rid of it while he is sleeping. While he lays motionless in his bed at night, grab the bear and put it somewhere he can't reach or find. Once you get the chance, move the bear to a box for storage or if you want take it to goodwill.
As much as you would like to get rid of it for good by throwing it away, the best thing to do is really save it. It just adds a little something to someone's childhood. Take me for example. I had a bear when i was little (i gave it up for myself when i was 6 or 7) and was saving it for my son, but one night we lost half of our house and most of the attic. All of our old pictures (the ones not in albums) and junk, as well as my bear were lost in the fire. It's just something from the past that was significant to me and the same goes for your son.
I hope anything I said could be of help to you and so to not take up to much space on this, feel free to email me about any other questions or concerns. Just go to my profile.
2007-01-23 08:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by nmk9543 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously your son is very attached to this bear. To you you see a threadbare and smelly toy that has outlived its time.On the other hand your son is seeing a trusty friend who has been with him through good times and bad.He must find comfort in having it.The feelings for a friend cannot be replaced by getting another friend. Let him enjoy this friend as long as he feels he needs it( it's no different than a security blanket). Do not worry what strangers think about the bear. If they are rude enough to comment about it ask them "Why would you want to hurt a young boys feelings?
2007-01-23 04:43:43 · answer #5 · answered by gussie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is to leave the bear alone and let your son keep it. Like you said, he's been with the bear since he was an infant. Even though it may not seem to be something special to an adult, it is to a child. When he is older, he'll become interested in other things, and by that time, he might even end up throwing out the bear himself!
2007-01-23 01:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by Irene \m/. 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
leave the kid alone. I got a teddy bear for Christmas when I was 1, I am 17 and I STILL HAVE IT. it sits on a bookshelf now, but it has some very good memory's. I don't think I will ever throw that bear away. My grandma gave it to me. it is in shreds now, it has lost a lot of stuffing, but I will keep that bear. it is a very good memory of my grandma.
your son's bear is old, yes. maybe you could put it in a special place to keep his bear. but you dont have to get rid of it.
2007-01-23 09:39:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 21 and still sleeps with the stuffed dog she has had since she was 3 months old. It is what makes up this stuffed dog that makes him valuable to her (probably the same with your son's teddy) Changing him is not going to work. It has to be the exact same teddy. The only thing that worked for my daughter over the years has been patching. "Henry's" tail has been patched and repatched so many times that there is no longer any stuffing in the tail, just the patching materials. Henry started life out as a white and blue "stuffie" but is now a grey and darker grey. I can't tell you what to do other than don't take your child's beloved friend away...
btw I am 53 years old and I STILL sleep with my beloved teddy.
2007-01-23 02:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Give him a special place to keep the bear. Like up on a shelf. Tell him his friend is too old to play with, but he can sit on that shelf and watch over him. Use an elderly relative as an example if you have one, that once they get too old, they cannot play the same way anymore, and we have to give them a nice place to rest. We can still talk to them and have them around, but they just can't play like they used to.
2007-01-23 02:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My 13 year old daughter has a lion that she has loved since she was born. The little lion has seen alot of love and really looks it. As long as he is not dragging it around with him to stores and such let him keep his beloved bear.
Let his bear sit on his pillow or bed and who cares if it is shredding. Your son will know it is his friend regardless of what it looks like.
2007-01-23 01:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by Kris P 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋