At Xmas, we were burgled and lost everything. I told this friend what had happened & all she did was go on about a bloke she knew and how he'd found the love of his life! She did say hope everything goes well for me. A few days later, she left me a message on my mobile to say, "I've not had one Xmas card from the temp agencies and haven't been invited to their Xmas parties". There was no mention about my suffering, she never asked anything about my burglary, how I'm managing, if I need anything etc. The latest is she emailed me to say, “I left you alone as I felt that is what you needed. We all make mistakes you know.” and then went on to talk about her own issues again. Do you think she really is caring? I would have thought that if she was a good friend, she’d have been more on the scene. All she’s kept doing is comparing when she was burgled (years ago, before I met her) and how lucky I am not to have had men with knives on them!
2007-01-23 00:31:58 · 13 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'd have come round and given u a hug and spent time with u. i probably would have helped with the housework and stuff too, i know, muck in sometimes means just that!!
when the going gets tough the tough get going or get lost.
if u dig??
u may have to just accept that she will never be a support to u.
let's hope she never needs u in the same way??
2007-01-23 00:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend apparently did think about you and your situation, since she mentioned it in the e-mail, but because her behavior wasn't what you expected, you're asking if she's uncaring. People have different ways of showing their love and concern. It just sounds like she's not very good at reading your mind about what you feel you need (can you blame her?) If you feel you need her help, ask for it. I suspect that she'll be happy to help you with what you need, and you'll both be more satisfied with the situation.
As for mentioning her own experience of being burgled, that's just a natural tendency of what people do sometimes. Don't worry about it.
By the way, I'm very sorry about the burglary and I hope that things go well for you in the future.
2007-01-23 03:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, poor you, being burgled is horrible, my sympathy.
I think this girl is either just uncaring, because it didn't happen to her (which is how it seems), or doesn't know how to help you (as the latest mail suggests) ... or possibly both. While she's right about the men with knives, I do see your point ... I think that the best thing to do is to gently let her go, and find more friends. Keep some avenue of communication open, however, as it may be that she hasn't figured a few things out yet.
2007-01-23 00:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip - you got burgled OK so that's interesting for five minutes and then move on. So you lost a lot of stuff - it is only material goods and I am sure you were insured so not much happened really. If you had been hurt or held to ransome then I could understand why you would want sympathy. I am sorry to sound rather harsh but rocks are hard and waters wet!
2007-01-23 00:53:54 · answer #4 · answered by LillyB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I am very sorry you were burgled. That is horrible at any time, but at Christmas it makes it so much worse.
I think she is a self-centred she-git or candidate for the greatest Prat in the friendship category this decade.
I would prolly discount her to acquaintance rather than friend. I need no mates like her!
---That Cheeky Lad
2007-01-23 07:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend she is not your friend. All she cared about was some guy she met and mad that she was not invited to some Xmas parties. I would just move on. She proved her true colors. I would just distant myself from her. Its sad, but the only way to find out who your true friends are, when you have a crisis. But on positive I found in a crisis that people that I felt did not like me was there for me. If you had been my friend I would have been scouring my closets for things to give you and calling my family and friends as well to help you out. Be glad you found out what type of person she is.
2007-01-23 01:08:51 · answer #6 · answered by tnbadbunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems like a chronic attention seeker. Unless she's willing to acknowledge how one-sided the sympathy and support given in your friendship has been, and apologise, I would say that you should without a big fuss separate yourself from her and her issues. Life is too short and there are far nicer people about!
2007-01-23 00:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by Nikita21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she obviosly is 2 wrapped up in her own life 2 take time out 4 u so tell her how your feeling and how she showed no consideration 4 your promblems if she cant see she was wrong then u dont need people like that in your life i have 2 real friends cos the rest have let me down
2007-01-23 00:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ღ☆ shoesaholic ☆ღ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just the only star of their own little world. Your friend is one of those people. She's not going to change, she's totally self-centered. She will always find herself and her own problems more interesting than yours. Can she still be someone you want to hang out with and be friends with? That's a choice you'll have to make. I think every person has at least one self-centered friend. They aren't usually our best friend, just someone we go around once in a while. Heck, all their drama can sometimes be entertaining...in small doses.
2007-01-23 00:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by that dead girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a bit of a pain in the bottom to me.
You don't need friends like that.
.
2007-01-23 02:14:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋