I'm 25 and get treated like I am 9! And it is not because I act like a kid. I am a responsible adult with a full time job and I'm also doing a masters degree part time.
I always feel guilty whenever I refuse a request from them. E.g., If they want me to do something for them and I say no.
They dont do this to my brother (whos 21) - Why Me?
Im a woman.
2007-01-22 22:33:26 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My parents are very traditional and virtuous people - everything I do is 'bad' in their books. Even if I dont call them back after they call me ..etc.
Its pathetic. I feel like never talking to them again. They just dont want me to be free.
2007-01-22 22:40:43 · update #1
They get upset when I dont return calls....why put the guilt on me?!??!
They call every single day!! Drives me crazy. I am itching to become soley independant!
2007-01-22 22:43:14 · update #2
I also get treated the same way and am in the same circumstance, and it is to my knowledge or observation that a woman must be stronger in todays time, i mean we have to have children take care of our families, and on top of that have careers and pay the bills and if we mess up somewhere, we are looked down upon. on the other hand men usually have to have a career and be the financial provider and they're looked on as Gods. I believe the guilt comes from our emotions as women, because we're born with the instinct to be nurturing, caring, and tend to the needs of the ones we love and when we don't come through... we have failed ourself as well as them
2007-01-22 23:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by Please Help 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of the things parents do is in their minds to protect their children from- hurt, making the same mistakes they did, the evils of the worldaround, etc. They do understand that over-protecting kids is sometimes more destructive.
You are doing well on your own and as frustrating as it may be, just continue being as independent as u can be. When they call, if you're busy say so but call back at a later time and talk for a few minutes update them on what you're doing, etc. do not shut them out completely, that will be harder for all concerned.
they may not treat your brother the same way because no matter how developed we are, women are still seen as 'the weaker sex'.
be the best child you can be but don't lose yourself.
2007-01-22 23:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part it is because we feel, we've done that, seen it , etc...and dont want our Kids to suffer. We always hope, that by saying, NO, it will protect them. Of course deep down we also know that, experience is our teacher. We don't really want to controll them, only protect !
Regarding the brother or sister thing. Well, it's a fact that Moms seem to protect or "cuddle" boys more. That's why women are better nurturers, by nature and just all around better care givers. We also generally grow up faster.
I do see you're resentment, so, since you are grown, have a sit down with you're folks and express your sentiment. Harboring this inside will only make it worse and eventual end up in a blowout.
I believe in confrontation and solving any problem if it should cause you grief.
Communication , communication and communication, it's where it all is!
2007-01-22 22:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by SwissAK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess not many parents realize that their child is growing up, for them we are always their baby. I have the same situation as you, I'm 26 with full time job and studying part time. For the past few years, I've been struggling with them because they always tells me what to do. I took me some time, lots of strengths and bravery to finally move out from my house. Until now my dad still doesn't want to talk to me, but thankfully my mom is more understanding (even though she hopes that someday I would come to my sense and move back home).
Moving out from my parent's house made me realize that what my parents did was 'for my own sake' from their point of view. How hard it may seems, parents always want the best for their child (but they seldom listen to our feelings), try to imagine if you have child of your own.
So what I am doing now is doing my best and hopefully someday my parents will see me for who I am.
I think you should do what you do what you think is best for you. I'm sure your parents will come to their sense.
2007-01-22 23:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by ranselbiru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still tied to your parents financially, you owe it to them. Until you are "completely independent" like you say you want to be, then it is their right to call you and bug - in fact, since they are your parents, it is their right to call you and bug you until someone dies. They are the only parents you have and instead of being a selfish brat, you should cherish your time with them. They won't be around forever.
2007-01-22 22:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Parent who love their child will always try to see that she is protected.Ypur parents love you and even if you are working you are still their child.Even if you married and had a family you will still be their child and they would still want to protect you.You may seem to be more vulnerable than your brother and thus more protection is offered to you.You enjoy that protection while they are still alive.One day they will be gone and you will wish your mother was around to give you advise.
2007-01-22 22:42:48 · answer #6 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Family dynamics are so complicated. We couldn't possibly answer. You can tell us more, or you can be very brave and try to broach it with them - perhaps via a letter so they don't blow up without time to calm down and think things over.
2007-01-22 22:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by Older&Wiser 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well stop letting them! Tell them that you respect their opinions but they have 0 control over you.
2007-01-22 22:36:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋