I'm starting to detest my parents.?

Question

My parents and i had a nasty fight a few days ago. I'm really starting to dislike them now. When i was a kid,my dad used to hit me with his belt and my mum wouldent say anything. They do get me whatever i want but when it comes to fulfilling my emotional needs....i have nothing to say. Not even once have they asked me what i wanna do in college. When i was 17,i told my mum that i was sexually abused as a kid and she quickly hushed me up. She thinks that it's a shameful thing. Am i being ungrateful in disliking them?

Answer 1

I don't blame you for detesting them. But just remember, they were kids once too, and the parenting they do is the type of parenting they got as kids. So, in other words, they don't know any better. It's very difficult for people to break cycles of abuse and not repeat them on their own kids. It takes someone like you to stop and say, "Wait a minute. This isn't right. I'll never do this or say that to my own kids." But just remember, it will be very hard. So, try to forgive your parents. If you need help healing from the sexual abuse, maybe you can talk to a school counselor. Sometimes a person can get over that kind of thing on their own, it depends on what type of abuse it was, how far it went, how long it lasted, etc. But, you'll know if you need help dealing with it. One day, if and when you have your own kids, you might be very surprised to see that you are reaching for the belt to strike your own child. Just stop what you're doing, remember how that affected you, and look for another way. Your instincts are right. Stay strong.

Answer 2

You know what I think you need to do.. Move far far away from your parents. You resent your parents for a couple of things and I don't think being close to them will help you resolve them because you are not ready/prepared to let the matter go.. You need to come to terms with your own childhood and your feelings with your parents. It's not them.. They can't change the past but you can let the past go.. What do you intend to do with your current relationship with your parents? Let it fester or somehow start anew because you are not going to get a new set of parents.. Go far far away and take a long time to think this over.. Let the past go.. Parents make A LOT of mistakes and it's a wonder we all still remain sane (most of the time at least).. Let's just hope we do a better job when it's our turn...

Answer 3

Well, we don't pick our parents, so you gotta work with what you have or move on.

But, in the mean time, you could stop accepting gifts from them. This is how they are maintaining power over you.

Tell your mom it was her job to protect you when you were a kid and she isn't doing you any favors now by keeping it on the down low.

Some parents are idiots!

Answer 4

No one can blame u for ur disliking. a child requires more fulfillment of emotions than others n parents ought to understand this

Answer 5

we have, pretty much the same parents. spoiled into everything, but they want total control in my life. My emotions cannot be shown to anybody, not to mention sibling rivalry between my brothers and me, (i'm a middle child).

To dislike them, it's quite normal, but you gotta ask yourself if you can ever change that, because bear in mind that no matter what happens, they're still your parents.

Answer 6

sounds like ur an adult now u have every right to b mad at them but have no right to disrespect them however i beleive u should sit them down and tell them how u really feel hidden resentment may explode one day

Answer 7

I dont know how old you are, but if ur a teen. I understand completely. My parents are annoying me too.

Answer 8

maybe...talk to them and discuss about it...