I am in love with two people at present, One is an ex boyfreind - who abandoned me, after i told him that i was abused as a child, He didnt keep in touch at all, infact 5 bithdays he never even wished me, I was however in touch with his best friend, who is now a good friend of mine, I was mainly in touch with his best friend cause it was my link to my ex...
aNYHOW i am suppose to get engaged in 2 weeks from now (formally) - Informlly - Ive put the ring on hold, tough the guy has asked me twice... and i said yes, but no rings till the formal one..
my present guy - He' s a very nice guy - Um, i actually fell in love with him months after knowing him, he tends to put my needs first, and he's everything i would want a man to be, He's never ever let me down - and once he even held my hand the whole night after i told him i was scared about what was going to happen, he sat and held my hand tellin me to relax
My question - who do i choose, and how? do i tell my fiance abt my ex?
2007-01-22 21:30:38 · 6 answers · asked by Almost Engaged 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How do i decide? what all do i look at? what do i tell my ex?
IF YOU WERE ME, WHAT WOULD U DO??
2007-01-22 21:30:54 · update #1
It is really a difficult thing to decide between heart and mind. If I were you I would go for the one who really loves me and is always there for me and has understood all my fears and has accepted my past and me for who and what I am. I am sorry but it would be stupidity to cling to the memories of your ex. The fact alone that he abandoned you after learning that you were abused as a child before and had let 5 birthdays of yours without even greeting you, at least as a friend, are reasons valid and strong enough for you to wake up from that madness. If I were you I would go for the emotional security your present bf is offering you. Your ex was not strong enough to accept you. I don't think I will ever want to love someone like your ex. Go get engaged, and marry the guy who truly loves you. You said that you have fallen in love with him months after you met him, I guess you are wise enough to know the answer to your questions. And you better bury your past with your ex and not reveal it to your fiance now. I would tell you to go for your ex if he had stayed and not abandoned you after learning your past but, please wake up, do you think you would be happy with your ex after he had abandoned you?
2007-01-22 22:11:08 · answer #1 · answered by brainyluscious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the end the decision has to be yours but one thing you need to look at is that your ex left when you told him what happened to you as a CHILD.if he could not stay around for that then the chances of him being there for you if somthing went wrong as an adult are next to none.i think you would only end up divorceing if you go with your ex as there will be problems there.if you really love this new man and he is good to you in every way and you think you can have a life with him then he is the one.forget about the ex you are asking for heartache and pain.move on and be happy,love and be loved.you deserve this,grab on and do not look back.lot's of luck and have a beautiful wedding
2007-01-22 21:45:25 · answer #2 · answered by angel_ns_texas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa back there!!! Now, firstly- the first guy your ex...Not worth bothering about (and sometimes people who were abused choose people who will sort of treat them the same way), dont put yourself in that position, please! He sounds like a total dick, so give any thoughts of him the flick...
secondly- you shouldnt really be commiting yourself to a marraige if you are not 100% positive that THAT is wat you want... BUT saying that, this guy sounds like a total sweety who loves you very very much!!! Now, I am guessing this is what is freaking you out??? You dont know how to react, and unsure because this is all new ground for you..... (tell me if I am jumping to conclusions). He is obviously totally devoted and very loving & may be just what you need to give you trust back in the human race (Hey there are some good guys out there you know).
Thirdly- No, dont tell the good guy about the bad guy.....
Lastly- YOU DO DESERVE TO BE LOVED!!! I want you to keep telling yourself this, make it a daily mantra, and repeat it over and over!!! You can get engaged, but just take your time to get married, if that is what you want. Give the good guy all the attention he deserves, and dont try to turn him away........
I wish you all the best & remember you are lovable & loved!!!
2007-01-22 21:48:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just folow your feelings.It is not easy,but dont think to much.I think if i was you i will get engaged and will stop think about the other man.But i realize how difficult is that in your situation,so the best think is may be first talk with your ex and after go further in that realtion with your boyfriend!
good luck!
2007-01-22 21:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by Tigress in love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the present guy is the one who asked you to marry him, go for it. If you say anything to your fiancee about your ex, it should only be to tell him what a jerk he was. You should do what your heart tells you to do, what would make ypu happiest. I hope the present guy is the one who asked you!!
2007-01-22 21:39:59 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would pick the one i had more feelings for. but if he was never there for u, then screw him.
2007-01-23 02:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by psychopathic bi*ch. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋