I am in love with two people at present, One is an ex boyfreind - who abandoned me, after i told him that i was abused as a child, He didnt keep in touch at all, infact 5 bithdays he never even wished me, I was however in touch with his best friend, who is now a good friend of mine, I was mainly in touch with his best friend cause it was my link to my ex...
aNYHOW i am suppose to get engaged in 2 weeks from now (formally) - Informlly - Ive put the ring on hold, tough the guy has asked me twice... and i said yes, but no rings till the formal one..
my present guy - He' s a very nice guy - Um, i actually fell in love with him months after knowing him, he tends to put my needs first, and he's everything i would want a man to be, He's never ever let me down - and once he even held my hand the whole night after i told him i was scared about what was going to happen, he sat and held my hand tellin me to relax
My question - who do i choose, and how? do i tell my fiance abt my ex?
2007-01-22 21:25:15 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You know, you and I have a lot in common. I was still in love with my ex when I got engaged to my now fiance. Sometimes in life we never stop loving the people closest to us even if they are no more with or around us.
But remember, your fiance is putting your needs first, he will be by your side, as should you. That is what really counts. If you don't love him as much as your ex now, don't worry about it. You will fall deep in love with him eventually, and maybe someday, you will be able to say you love him more than he loves you!
You must sit with your fiance and tell him that you need to be completely honest with him. Tell him about your ex boyfriend because YOU NEED TO BE HONEST AND TRUTHFUL and no relationship can sustain on lies and hidden truths. But only tell him what he must know.
If he really loves you, he will stick by you, dust off the past and move on. This decision could be your wisest.
Good luck.
2007-01-22 21:33:46 · answer #1 · answered by Yvonne Mystic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your ex is an ex for a reason.
Also don't tell your new guy, that is kinda disrespectful towards his feelings, either you want to marry him or you don't but do not throw another relationship that you had before in his face.
Also a guy that would leave you for such a reason as your ex did is not a real man and doesn't know how to love a woman because he would accept you for who and what you are and that all these experiences have made you the beautiful woman you are today.
If you love the man that wants to marry you then be happy don't find reasons to be discontent in your life. Love is a beautiful thing especially when it is with someone that loves and respects you back.
2007-01-22 21:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need closure from your first relationship. Call him up, rip up pictures, have a ritual of some sort to signify that part of your life is history not to be repeated. I dated a guy for 8 yrs and one day he just said he was confused, and stopped calling. EIGHT YEARS!! I tried to talk to him for months, then I gave up. Emotionally though, I did not have the closure to move on. So for a year, I didn't date...just moped around. I think it was because I didn't really have an explanation as to why it ended, I only assumed why it ended. After I gave up he started calling my house, but not leaving a message (called id was very new back then). I thought this meant he was starting to crawl back to me. After months of him calling, I finally got the courage to call him and ask him why he was calling--this was a year after the "break up". Still thinking he was crawling back to me, I kind of got a shock. I never really got a STRAIGHT answer because his FIANCE found out and he turned it around as if I was calling him. So there, not only was he dating, he was ENGAGED. Apparently he started dating her the moment he vanished from my life. Probably keeping me in the dark in case it didn't work out. So, I finally just told him and her what I thought. He was not pining away. He didn't really care that I was stuck in limbo. That was all I needed to move on. A year later, I met my husband, we have 3 kids.
My point is, he's an ex, he's most likely moved on. He probably didn't break up with you because you were abused, he probably just needed a lame excuse to move on. People (men) do that. And he's not pining for you....stop wasting precious time thinking about him. BTW, my husband and ex are complete opposites. And I feel extremely lucky to have him. The first few months we were together, he changed my headlight, without me asking him. My ex told me to ask my brothers for help. And the funny part is, my ex's wife--contacted me a couple years ago. She's MISERABLE. Wanted to compare notes. You say your present guy is a very nice guy---I am sure he is---cause you already experienced a JERK. Move on to greener pastures. Put the past where it belongs. Learn from it. And look ahead.
One more thing, my ex and I were young when we started dating. I do think people grow apart and change. We both went to college, had different experiences....and as you get older you tend to know more of what you want. I think if we would have married, we'd be divorced by now.
2007-01-23 06:39:22 · answer #3 · answered by crazymom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me you don't really know what you want. Decide if you really awnt to keep chasing after a guy who won't even wish you a happy birthday, five years in a row now. Are you willing to give up what sounds like a great guy for that loser? If so, make your bed, and sleep in it.
2007-01-23 00:43:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not agree with your doubt sentence because at same time for one guy it is impossible to be in love with two persons. and you should not ask this question because you know better that who is your love difinately that one that you cant imigine happy life without him.
Regards,
2007-01-22 22:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by momand_hamid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋