me and my bf are both so shy!?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been out on several dates now but were still both really shy round each other! he said he doesnt mind because he likes spending time with me anyway, but i feel like i want to know him a bit more

does anyone have any ideas about what we could do for a date which would help us get to know each other more?
bare in mind its freezing cold outside at the moment and we have already done the usual stuff like coffee, dinner, cinema etc...

also any other suggestions about how to generally be less shy around each other would be really appreciated :)

me and my bf are 17/18

Answer 1

I believe the more time people spend with each other, the more they get to know each other and become more familiar, the more they become able to talk freely.
Have you tried going out with friends too, friends of his and of yours and talking on general topics, where everyone is involved? Maybe having friends around could loosen the atmosphere a bit and sometimes it's more fun to go out with a lot of people.
Of course, to really get to know a person you have to talk to that person alone but going out with friends may make you less shy.
Do you know about his hobbies, does he know about yours? maybe you could do that together, go ice-skating for example (since u say it's so cold).
I'm also thinking about the dating stereotype, maybe the fact you are doing all the "usual" things makes you both pretty nervous, knowing examples of what is a "bad date" and "good date" and stereotypes of what people say and do on a date I think can lead to rather playing a role than being yourselves. And wanting things to be perfect leads to tension. The thing is there is no actual pattern of getting to know someone, no steps you must take (usual things you do on a date etc) to get to know him.
Another idea could even be talking on the internet, where you can't see each other and become shy, but you can probably talk more freely so then, when you actually meet, you would already have talked more and were able to know each other better and you wouldn't feel that shy.
Good luck :) please mail me and tell me if it all turns out better

Answer 2

Two things that I suggest:

Find the topic of his passion. What I mean by this, find the one thing in life that he is passionate about and ask him to explain it to you. Listen and ask questions. Let the conversation naturally evolve. He should also try the same with you.

Second, get a bunch of friends together and play a good ol' fashioned game of twister.

These two exercises should decrease shyness on a conversation level (the conversation) and physical level (twister).

Very important note: both of you should be well relaxed when doing this. The more apprehensive you are, the less this will work. Relaxation can be easier with a bit of alcohol (assuming you're of age and don't over do it), or pot (assuming you're in one of several European countries or don't mind breaking the law in many other countries.) [I'm not a pot smoker but pot is less addicting than cigarettes and less inebriating than alcohol. Please don't break any laws.]

Answer 3

Try some interactive board games. Seriously, something like battle of the sexes, balderdash, argue, scruples etc... Some of these require other players some don't. If you are under 25 this probably sounds a bit cheesy but its different. Maybe when you aren't concentrating so much on getting to know each other you will actually get to know each other.

Answer 4

aww bless! It may sound daft, but maybe you should try something a little less intimate. I always find doing something really proactive can bring the best out in people.. it works well in group situations too. Try ice skating or something of the sort, then you can have a good laugh falling over and messing about. You may find it'll loosen you up, and it'll give you something to chat about afterwards.

Answer 5

Play a board game "inside" where it's nice and warm.
Pick a game that involves asking alot of questions. This will lead to "answers". In all do respect, that leads to conversation and getting to know each other a bit more.

Answer 6

if you have some money it would be better if you go to an alien country where you only know each other so u are ibviously forsed to talk to eachother and do things with eachother in that yway u will know eachother may u can try some asian country like malasya, or may be india

Answer 7

AGE AGE AGE !!!!!!!!!!!!


It gets really anoying...


ok IF over 15 1/2 strip poker, strip playstation game, twister etc.

Swimming.

Dance lessons. ie lambada

Anything you get more touchy.

Sleep togther... (not sex litterally sleep on each others shoulder ... Note if you get caught parents may though a wobbly and may not beleive you). Plays pranks ie ice down backs. tickle fights etc

Answer 8

How about an 'activity' type date, such as bowling or snooker or the like?
I find quiet people talk more when they are engaged in something else.

Answer 9

Sometimes alchol can help.

Why not go out with both of your mates, so u get to know what he is like with his buddies etc.

Why not try an activity like paintballing?

Try competing games like Pool, bowling etc its a great chance to show of your skills and u can pretend to be bad so he can teach (TOUCH) you! GREAT OPPORTUNITY!!!!!

Try avoid overcrowded places can be difficult to talk.

But good luck

Answer 10

Get a couple of bottles of wine and make a real night of it.......you need the wine for the dutch courage u will find out enough .gd luck