should i tell about my past to my husband?

Question

i had an affair now i have ended it up.before 2 years my marrige. i m scared either to tell or not to my husband.i think it will create problems for me if he comes to know about it from some one else
plz help.

Answer 1

u r correct,, it ll surely *** as a promb, if he cumes 2 knw 4m a third person,, bettr u be frank enough n let him knw evrytin n also tht it is all ovr nw-- jus' a past,, assure him tht u r only his n of no1 else,, apologise 4 bein 2 l8,, be darin c'on,, its gud if he cumes 2 knw abt it,, tell him 2 understand u n be wid u,, tell him tht u need his help,, tell him evrytin abt ur past,, best of luck,, hope ur hubby understands u n appreciate u 4 bein so loyal,,

Answer 2

So you had an affair while you were married to this guy? Or did you have the affair before you were with him? If it was before you were with him, then there is not anything he can say or do about it. You can tell him, but if you choose not to, then that is not something he can be mad about if he finds out later. It was before him so it does not involve him. I would not care if my husband had an affair while he was married to his first wife or if he was with a married woman while he was single. If I was not around, it is not my business.

If, however, you were married to him at the time, then you need to confess it to him and try to get past it together. You really don't want him to find out from someone else. That would be even more embarassing and hurtful for him.

Answer 3

You question is hard to understand. But regardless if the affair happened prior to your being married or after you were married, if you want your marriage to continue, do not tell him. The only thing you would accomplish would be to hurt him and cause him to not trust you which would be horrible for your marriage. It is much better that you go on feeling guilty without hurting him. If he ends up finding out later, explain then. The outcome won't be any different. But I guarantee you, if you want your marriage to end - TELL HIM.

Answer 4

No, no, no. A thousand NO.

Why? What happened before marriage is non-consequential. It is the past. Why bare your soul and invite trouble?

If he finds out from someone else, AND, if he asks you about it, you tell him exactly this: "That is past. I did not attach too much importance to it. I am happily married now. Yes, it happened." Do not elaborate, do not deny and move on to something else.

Strictly speaking, a polished husband, who loves you unconditionally will accept this. Also, he won't even ask you about it in the first place. What's more, if anything, he is supposed to tell the gossiper that "..hey, that happened before the marriage... I am not concerned..." That will stop the gossiper cold on their tracks.

So you see, telling your past to your husband is not necessary.

Answer 5

It is best to tell him. Even if it creates problems it'll make you feel so much better. The question is whether you think he'll leave you for it. Especially if you think there's a chance he might find out through someone else then you should tell him first. It's up to you. I've been in the same problem.

Answer 6

Leave the age old philosophies about relationships aside and think on your own feet. Is your Hubby progressive enough about pre-marital affairs?? If Yes ... then just go tell him.
If No then Don't bother to tell him.
Sometimes its better to just forget the past and concentrate on making your today and tommorrow better.

Answer 7

The best thing for you to do is tell your husband it will be a lot worse for your relationship if you don't. Give Him the benefit of the doubt that it may work out and he will stay with you. If he finds out from someone else he will leave you. I think you should be honest with him. I hope it all turns out for the best for you and your husband. Good Luck

Answer 8

what he don't know ain't gonna hurt him, that affair was in your past or was it, if you think he's gonna find out by someone else then yeah you might want to tell him, its always bad to hear that kind of stuff by someone else about your spouse... the truth can hurt sometimes, but if it makes you feel better then go for it, sometimes it depends on his level of maturity, he might not can handle it and you might lose him. big decision girlfriend good luck

Answer 9

Honesty is the best policy in a marriage. Just let him know why you had an affair.

Answer 10

I did the same thing and told , cause i thought it would change the way he treated me .. well it did now he calls me a pig all the time dont tell!! some things are best left unsaid.