HELP! My thoughts tell me to committ sucide.... How do i make this stop??!! Please answer or contact me.?

Question

I am a 26 year old woman who has suicidal thoughts at least twice a day. This has been going on for a while now. I am not sure if I will do it and I am not sure why I think this stuff.

Sometimes I feel like everything is bottled inside me and no one really knows what the real me is like. Everyone thinks I am happy, I always smile and joke but when I am alone this horrible feeling comes about and I don't know how to control it.

When I get like this, my tummy feels like its in knots, I almost feel sick with anxiety (thats what i think it is - anxiety) and I have no idea what causes this.

I have noticed that my suicidal thoughts are often (though not always) linked to wanting to make people feel bad for the horrible things that they have done to me. I just want to scream at them and say "Look at what you have done! See what you have pushed me too?"

Does anyone else feel this way? Please I don't want to hear that I need to get counselling, I have tried, it only makes it worse

Answer 1

wait,just wait 4 a minute,i'll call 911.

Answer 2

I know you said you don't want to hear it, but you really do need to go see your doctor. It is not normal, by any means, to have such dark thoughts about hurting yourself. Even you yourself have admitted that these thoughts aren't right. I'm sure that you can think back to a time where you didn't have these thoughts...right?

Just know, first and foremost: you aren't a bad person, and you aren't "messed up" or anything of that sort! It is proven that depression is simply an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. Unfortunately, the only way to fix it is with a pill. BUT, the good news is that there are so many different kinds of antidepressants out there that have been proven to help even the deepest of depressions, that there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel for anyone and everyone. But you MUST go see your doctor!

Counseling alone will not do the trick. It can help, but you also need the right medication at the right dosage to help get your body back into balance as well. You can try to use therapy to change your thoughts or try to "will it away", but that doesn't change the chemical imbalance in the body...it's all science sweety. You can't make a car go where you want it to if the engine isn't running correctly, right? Or, think about it this way - if you had, say, Strep Throat, you could try to tell your mind that it's not there and "will it away"...but you and I both know that you need antibiotics to heal it. Depression may not be visible like swollen tonsils, but it's just as real as Strep Throat and in need of medications just the same too. I'm not the best at analogys...but hopefully my point was made.

P.l.e.a.s.e. trust this advice, I am currently dealing with depression myself and hope that you too can find the peace of mind that I have. Best of luck and love to you!!!!

Answer 3

All I can say is that things will get better! You are still young and have a lot to look forward to in life! Do not give in to these thoughts; you are just as important as any other person out there and should never have to worry about having these thoughts. I hope you have someone that you know who you can confide in and talk to about this. Suicide is not the answer. I hope that you find someone who can help you feel better about yourself. You are worth much more than you realize you are. What kind of things make you feel so bad that you think that is what should be done? You may not know people who you can talk to now, but the people are out there. Just give yourself some time and find a way to make yourself truly happy!

Answer 4

If you have tried counseling and it "only makes it worse" you have not had the right person as your therapist. First of all, you may have a chemical imbalance and should get a complete physical checkup. Be sure to tell your doctor about these feelings.

But what I notice is that you are very angry. Depression (and suicidal thoughts) is anger turned inward, so your frustration at not being able to express that anger is hurting you, not those who have abused you. Suicide, especially a messy one, would be the ultimate expression of rage at those people. Don't let them have that control over you. Call a suidice hotline like 1-800-SUICIDE to get help. They can help you find the right person to work with you or the right group where you can share those bottled up thoughts.

I wish you well.

Answer 5

Horrible things that they've done to you? Sounds like post traumatic stress disorder... Which, while most commonly associated with military survivors, also applies to people who survive abuse.

It's hard to deal with. And yes, I've dealt with it. counseling feels horrible, digging up old feelings that you'd rather not deal with... The stress is so bad that some days you wonder if it's ever going to feel better. And you always feel like you have to hide the truth.

It can get better. First step? Meds. I hate to say it, but durring the initial "I can't cope with these memories" phase, it helps to take a stress reducer. Not necessarily anti-depressant which may or may not work for Post traumatic stress. A combination of meds and therapy WILL eventually help, if you let it.

Um, and honestly? Being able to forgive is a big step. Forgive but never forget is my motto. Giving in to despair is allowing someone to continue to have power over you. Forgive your mistakes, and forgive the pain that was caused. Don't let past pain decide how you will live your life now.

Answer 6

Actually,you don't need counselling.All you have to do is to realise everything by yourself.The problem that i found through your descriptions is that you 'want people to feel bad for doing horrible things to you'.I think this is the main cause.You don't have to get angry about how people are treating you(if its not too serious, eg. rape and brutality),all you have to do is live your life your own way.I know sometimes its kinda hard to accept the horrible things people has done to you,but you don't need to care about them,getting angry at them=wasting your time.Whenever you get this strange feeling of suicide,try to do something else that would get your mind out of there.Open up your mind,don't make it limited.Every human exist on earth with a purpose.I don't think your parents born you so that you would commit suicide when you grow up.From my opinion,we are brought into this world to create hapiness among each other so that human can live in perfect harmony.I'm sure that out there are people that really loves you and care for you.They won't want you to leave them.Think about yourself and the people that loves you next time when you feel like committing suicide.Ok?

Answer 7

Obviously your thoughts also allow you to know that what you are thinking about doing is very wrong and for those who love you and care about you,taking your own life will only create hurt to them.It is apparent you don't really want to commit suicide otherwise you would not be asking for help.So now it is time to take and replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
You need to find something good to do each and every day,make it something you do not normally do & when you are having suicidal thoughts,you turn to that good thing you have chosen to replace suicide with and do it..It will take a person 21 days to replace a bad habit with a good habit,but after those 21 days you should be able to no longer be reflecting on the bad and yet injoying the good thing you chose to start doing in your life.

Answer 8

I think everyone has had this thought at least once: "I'll make them feel guilty by showing them how bad they hurt me." It doesn't work, though. They will only move on with their lives, and if they DO take it to heart, you wouldn't be around to benefit from the change. I would say, if there is someone that you feel hurt you deeply, say something to them about it and leave it at that. If they feel badly, I'm sure they will contact you to apologize. If not, they weren't worth dying for.

Get yourself a therapist (someone to talk to) and a hobby. An idle mind is a dangerous thing. Good luck, and please think of the ones who truly love you and care for you.

Answer 9

I dont think anyone of us here has a simple thing we can type up to make you feel better overall. But I know that I came through a very very Dark place in my life where I use to have thoughts like that and I did alot of things to hurt myself to get the peoples attention that hurt me, but guess what, it didn't work. You just need to hang on and go on for the ride, because there surely will be a day when everything will change. Just hold on.

and only because you asked how to make this stop I will write that I think you could try praying to Jesus Christ and get a bible and read some of it.

Answer 10

We've all felt down at some point in our lives , sometimes we feel like life just ain't worth living but the truth is that will always past, life is absolutely beautiful . I think you should seek Professional help nobody on this forum can help you. you can also call the national suicide prevention Lifeline its a 24 hour a day free service for people who may contemplating suicide or know someone who is contemplating suicide. the number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Answer 11

AAAaaaawww! You poor thing, I've been there, times get tough and you don't feel like you can be tough back. Medication will help you. If you don't have medical insuance, the state will usualy provide you with assistance. Please look into it. I'm sure there are websites to help you get information. Besides medication, ya gotta give yourself a little talk. Learn to love yourself and say a bunch of affirmations to strengthen your mind. The harsh reality is that alot of times we only have ourselves to bring us up when we're down. Friends will come and go, but you will always be around. I hope things get beter for youself!
Remember this quote: If you change the way that you look at things, the things that you look at will change!