Who am I. my mother refused to tell me why I never knew who my real father was, and yet I went to his wake in 1965. She died in 2000 not admitting to anything, and I am still haunted by the past. I have learned much about who I am, but it still chrurns inside me.
2007-01-22 19:12:32 · 4 answers · asked by Stan K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like my mum they live in denial because they cant handle the truth about there lives.
2007-01-22 20:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know who your mother was and who your father was you at least know that.
I have two family members who are adopted. One is my adopted son. The other is outside my immediate family. In one case there is extreme secrecy about the details surrounding the person's beginnings and adoption. In the case of my son, there isn't complete secrecy, but there are things I would have preferred he not learn. My point is that sometimes mothers know things that they believe could open a can of worms (psychologically/emotionally) for their child; and even though they know that keeping some things from the child is not idea, they may believe it is better than having the can of worms opened.
You aren't your beginnings, and you aren't your family or your ancestors or your mother or father. I don't think you have a choice but to come around to making yourself realize that regardless of family background you're just you. You have to make yourself realize whatever your mother didn't or didn't do or say was her issue and shouldn't be yours.
She had some reason for taking secrets to her grave. Trust that her reason was a good one. I would guess that this is about whether you can forgive your mother or not or whether you can be assured that there was not some horrible truth behind her behavior.
Maybe you just have to tell yourself that life is very short, and whatever did or didn't go on shouldn't take more from you than it already has. You can decide not to give whatever is in the past any power of you any longer.
2007-01-23 04:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Letting go is the only way to move forward in your life. I to, have many unanswered questions about my childhood. I've learnt over the years that you are who YOU make of yourself. You can't change the past, you can only learn to live with it, and make the most of it. You are not your father, nor your mother, YOU ARE YOU. Don't waste your life because of something you had no control over, get on with life, enjoy.
2007-01-23 03:43:56 · answer #3 · answered by Kazzbar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are who you have chosen to become. Your parents have a rather small part of who you are as an adult unless you allow them to influence your decisions to the point of molding your personality. There is nothing wrong with being interested in your past but you are the one who has most influenced who you are.
2007-01-23 03:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋