How do you help yourself after you've been crying all night?

Question

Im a regular here and i don't want people to know who I am. I'm haveing a tough time and I can't seem to turn off the tears. I'd rather not go into detail, but I feel like i keep getting bitten by the same kind of snake over and over again, and it's always the snake that says all the other snakes were bad for treating me that way. Can anyone say a few kind words?

Answer 1

I don't know if anything will help, but here goes. Take a break from the "snakes" for a while. Read Dr. Laura's book "Ten Stupid things women do to mess up their lives". Even if you don't like her, it makes a lot of sense! Read it. For a more immediate fix? Water. Drink a lot of water, the tears will dry you out. And if you've got close girlfriends, have a girls night out, or day out. Treat yourself to a mocha and a pedicure or a massage and a good old fashion bitchfest with the girls. Sometimes it really helps just to VENT! Most of all, start looking to yourself to be happy. I know that sounds cliche, but I know this from experience. If you want something, even a flower, don't wait for someone else to get it for you, buy it for yourself. I'm going to go even more cliche here and quote a line from a song that has really helped me focus at times. "Be good to yourself, 'cos nobody else has the power to make you happy." It's true. Go get that massage!

Answer 2

Sometimes a long cry really helps get out some of the pain that is trapped inside.

Give your self permission to cry. Then have a snack, take a shower and crawl in to bed and know that this feeling is not a forever feeling. It will pass.

Also......about who is hurting you........aka snakes. Get away from the snake pit. Stop trying to make peace with a snake. Get over the snake. Don't pet the snake. Don't expect the snake to change. You are worth more. Grieve your loss and don't ever let that person......I mean that snake ever hurt you again.

Answer 3

First off, I'm sorry to hear your having a bad time right now...that sucks. The bad news first is that it generally gets worse before it gets better, but rest assured that it does get better. If you can't turn off the tears then don't. We all deserve some time to feel sorry for ourselves. It's part of how we deal with things, so just let yourself do it. When your ready, you will not allow yourself to keep getting "bitten" by this snake. You'll take charge of your life and not be a victim anymore. Until then, allow yourself some venting time, then pull yourself together and keep plugging away. You may not get fed up and take control of your life for a while, maybe years, maybe months. But it will happen. So just keep telling yourself that things won't always be like this.
keep your head up.

Answer 4

You really came to the wrong place for a few kind words. People are heartless on here. You ask a question and they attack. Pick yourself up and start over. We all do it. You know you're getting bitten by the same kind snake so you need to learn from your own mistakes because so far you haven't. What do these snakes have in common? Stay away. Good luck

Answer 5

First, realize you are not alone. People have been bitten all over the world and that snake never seems to get theirs.

Also realize that you are a unique person and have special gifts to offer, even if it seems no one wants to receive them at this time.

I had a fiance leave me to marry someone she had only known a few months. She hadnt even wanted me to find out and although this happened 2 years ago, I still get pangs now and then.

Realize that all things pass and that the best revenge is living well, with honor.

Answer 6

You sound intelligent and educated. The only thing (guy talking) is the you must love yourself before someone else does, I'm not saying that you don't, but you may have some insecurtiy issues, and I know now you have some trust issues which is understandable, considering your present situation. Maybe you need some spirituality in your life, if you don't have it. If you do, focus more on that part of your life and, in my opinion, God will put someone in your life at the right time that you will be ready and need this person for a more meaningful relationship. Hope this helps, and good luck.

P.S. - you will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

Answer 7

Might be good idea to stay away from snakes! Sometimes when you're been "snake-bit", the other snakes can sense a victim and take advantage of the fact that you're hurting to wiggle their way into your life. I don't know what you believe, but I know that God sees and cares about every tear you've cried. His Word tells us that when we're with Him in heaven, he'll personally wipe away every tear. Imagine! And His love for you is perfect, because He made you and cares for you as only your Creator could. The Bible also refers to God as being the "lifter of my head." I love that image. The creator of the universe, gently putting his finger beneath your chin to lift your head, dry your tears and make you unashamed. These are the kindest words I know because they're true. He loves you.

Answer 8

Well, the real question was whether or not I have cried myself to sleep every night.. Yes I have. I dont do it regularly, but I have done so. Youre not alone there. I guess that when youre alone in bed with your thoughts, thats when youre most likely to think things out deeply and feel them without any other distractions. You have definitely had a harder life than most, but its over now. Youre away from your dad, and youre away from your stepdad. Its a shame that your mother had to follow him and not be loyal to her daughter. That really is a shame, but maybe someday she will be able to see that, or maybe she already knows and isnt ready to admit it. I dont have any solutions for "making her see". Just remember that we are all humans and all capable of making mistakes, being malicious, living in denial, etc. Parents are no less succeptible to this, unfortunately. My dad left me at 17 for his manipulative, awful girlfriend. I wasnt abused or anything, but I know how it stings to feel abandoned and betrayed by the one person that is supposed to love you unconditionally. Its no wonder that you have mood swings and terrible depression. This is where I could tell you to go to therapy, I guess. That´s a long road, but maybe it would help... But my best advice to anyone thats sad, that has sad memories, that is consumed by their past is that they remember that the world is bigger than where they live, bigger than their current circle of friends, and bigger than the past that seems to surround them everywhere they look. Travelling was the most therapeutic thing I ever did. I just packed up and left. I got here and looked for a job and rebuilt my life. Everything that I left behind seems so insignificant. I look back on things I cried over and find that they no longer hurt like they did. They always leave little scars behind, but the world is such a massive place.. there are people just waiting to show you new things, love you, accept you, and embark on your future with you. You may not have many friends there and now, but I promise that theyre out there in the world waiting for you.

Answer 9

I am sorry hun .... you cant change people, and you have been just getting bad luck... If they were jerks, then forget about them... I mean no guy is worth your tears IF they have hurt you! Just forget and move on! I know its harder to do easier to say, but just think that they are not worth it... you are hurting yourself now, if you think too much about it you can get sick and thats not good for you! think about the feature and remember that not all the guys are bad, yet there are lots of jerks out there.. its not your fault you got to know them and they hurt you.. they will pay for that later I am sure! Try to listen to some happy musics, and go out with your friends, you willl meet a very nice person who appreciates you! :)

Answer 10

i hope u feel better. crying actually helps in these situations u let all ur emotions out that way. Well take care of urself and try to think positive. wutever happened happened for a reason and this will make u stronger. Just think of it as a phase and it will pass away when you want it to pass. When you are ready it will be all better. good luck. I hope things go well with you wutever it is that you wish.